How To Set Up Core Values

Many clients come to me and they are lost. They have no direction or they have just had some major things happen in life and now they are rattled. they need to feel significant and in touch with themselves. They want to accomplish some great things but they are afraid to make it happen.

Here's what I do for them when this is the case.  I ask them. Where do you want to be in five years? once i get their answer, I ask where do you feel you are right now? It never fails that there is a gap between where they are not and where they want to be in five years.  I continue with other questions to get them talking about the pain of their current situation, why they believe they are stuck an what they will do to get unstuck. the simple answer is they have to define their core values.

So here's a simple exercise to help you, You will need about 20 minutes to do this exercise to really benefit from it.

• Look at list of values. I have a list that I can email you if you need some guidance on what the list should look like. It can be daunting to come up with your own list, especially since many values can seem abstract. I would say look for list that can provide you with options you may have not considered. These list should resonate in your heart and define your lifestyle. Once you find your list or lists, you want to choose as many values as you deem necessary there is no limit. they should be ones you embrace and emulate currently. We are not looking to the future on this exercise. Just the present and they should not be based on things you use to embrace. 
• Brainstorm a list of potential values.  now it is time to narrow down the values you have selected. No worries, we are getting to the core values, remember? So that means we have to start chipping away at the fluff. So look at the values you have selected. Start to really think about the people in your life and you interact with. These are the people that will be affected the most by your core values. For example: being a mom, wife, teacher, leader, friend, sister, mentor, business owner, employee, manager etc.. these relationships will be defined by your core values. How do you spend your time? Look through your checkbook what do you spend your money on? What are your favorite activities to do?
• Take a deep breath, you are doing great. No matter how many values are still on your page after chipping away some of the fluff, you still have some more chipping to do. I want to choose only ten core values that just seem to resonate with you more than the others. this will be hardest part and many of clients are grateful to do this segment with me. Sometimes it's hard to decide, but you must ask the hard questions at this point. Simply, do I really hold this close to my heart and use it to guide me in my decision making process? Also ask yourself; Does this define how I spend my money? Does it define how I sped my time? Does it define how I interact with others? Does it define where I will work, go to school or go to church? These questions can be helpful too. I also suggest that if you need more time for this segment of the exercise take it. Ask family and friends to help you by sharing what they think you value.
• Now that you have the ten core values, you are going to define each one.  Use a dictionary if needed, but I say write a definition that speaks to your soul. In other words, how will you know that that core value is defining your actions. What will it look like to you and to those around you.
• Last, you are going to prioritize your core values. Now this is really where the rubber meets the road. If you have done the above then you have ten core values that all tug and pull on your heart strings. They all cause you to want to be a better you, to connect with your inner self. To smile from within. they all have significant meaning to you. However, all that said, still some values will be more important to you than others. It is important for you to understand which one you hold in higher regard than the next. This will come into play when you have a tough decision to make about spending money, time, energy as well as help you work through conflicts.  Once you have prioritized all ten, notice and commit to the top 3-5 values. 

For more help on core values, contact me at 209-910-4055 or set up a strategy session. 

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Get Focused Now, Stop playing with your Future!

Okay, we are now in April. Many of us have set up New Year Resolutions and many of us are not even on the path to seeing them resolved. Well, enough is enough. Here's an exercise that I came across on WordPress.com that I thought I would share. Now I must admit, you can just read this blog and still be in the same position you are in now, or you can read, do the exercise, and make a change now. It's up to you.

Many people feel they don't need someone telling them to accomplish their goals but they complain when things are not happening. Shame on you. Take it from me, you got to do something. So this exercise will help you start now making tomorrow a better day. It's time you get focused.

Here's the exercise:

You will need a pen, three sheets of paper, and a quiet place. Ready?

1. On a clean sheet of paper draw a circle in the middle on the page. This circle should be big enough to write the word ME in the middle of it. WordPress says draw a stick figure. Either way is okay. Once you have done that just start writing whatever comes to your mind when you think about your future. That's right any and everything that comes to your mind. DON'T restrict it in any way. Give yourself only sixty seconds to do this. Ready, Set, GO!

2. Now, get another sheet of clean paper, draw the same circle or stick figure. On this sheet of paper you are going to write the things you are passionate about when it comes to your future. Here you are going to consider your obsessions, natural talents, knowledge base, experiences, skills, Things that get you out of the bed in the morning, things you smile about, things you love, things you promised yourself, things that keep you up at night, favorite quotes, websites, TV shows, personalities, and YES, those New Year's resolutions still at bay, You are writing down the things you find yourself gravitating to time and time again. Most importantly the things you would do even if you did not get paid to them. Got it? Good, Again only give yourself 60 seconds. So, Ready, Set, GO!

3. On the last sheet of clean paper, you are going to list all that things that came to mind on the first sheet. I would say do this in a table like format. Meaning across the page make a column for each one. then next you are going to look at your second page and start to categorize the things you are passionate about under the correct column. Give yourself 120 seconds for this next part. Based on the columns that have formed, you are going to set some goals to accomplish in the next 30 days. Ready, Set, GO!

Now you should see patterns beginning to develop, you should start to see things clearer. If not, here's the next step, you need to revisit your core values and set up a life plan for your life. In my next blog I will talk more about this. It's time you stop playing with the idea of being a person of purpose and do something about it. Get focused today.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group