This One Thing I Know

Many people have a dream, an aspiration, a goal. Especially those in business for themselves. they did not go into business to close up shop a month later. No I am sure just like me they wanted to build a thriving business and be celebrated by those close to them. this is not always the case.  Many times those closest to you are the hard critics you will come across in life. Does that mean you stop pushing forward, Absolutely not! It means you have to be your own cheerleader and motivate yourself to keep going.

Say this, "How can expect others to believe in me, if I don't believe in myself." It's just that simple. If you believe then others will believe also. IF you invest in you then others will invest in you also. I remember I was told by a very wise man, if you give then others will give because they follow your example.

So now you are trying to achieve your goals and you are running into obstacles and feeling discouraged. Well This one thing I know for sure, when you are at your lowest, that's when you must not quit. Remember this it always is darkest before dawn and the storm is the worst right before it going to stop. Just hang on in there and you will see the breakthrough you are looking for. Whether it is in building a business, a relationships, studying in school, trying something new for the first time or whatever it may be... it's not a dead end for you. If you look closely you will see the silver lining in the clouds of despair.

There is a process that we all go through and if we go through the process without losing sight of our goal we will see that it was all worth the journey. The good and the bad of it. So here's the process:

1. The conception of a dream - You have to see a vision of something, so you can express what it will look like when it is completed.
2. Then comes Discouragement - This discouragement can come from within and without. Most likely it will be from those you love and hope would support you.
3. Then you get distracted - Distractions comes from all sources. It can be a job, family, school, hobbies, TV etc... What is distracting you from achieving the dream. If it is a distraction you will know it. this is not to say forsake all others but you know what you do when you should be working on the dream.
4. Then due to long periods of Distractions you become Distress - Distress is a sign that things need to change. You are doing things for not. It's the being busy to say you are doing something but you are not seeing a ROI. you are operating out of fear and desperation. STOP it now.
5. Then there is Discomfort - Your distress has put you in place where you now have to re-evaluate what you are doing and what is important. You must revisit your core values and start to make adjustments. It's stepping out of your comfort zone and learning and trying new things.
6. After you start to remove the discomfort you will begin to experience Discovery - Discovery comes when you are moving past what you know and understand and living in a realm of the unknown, therefore everything is new and you must explore all your options.
7. Discovery leads to the Dawning of a new life - after you discover that the process is necessary in order to see the realization of your dream, you will welcome the previous steps and understand that embracing those steps leads to a dawning of a new life, the life you have dreamed about.

Let the process happen and don't fight it. this 1 thing I know you will not regret it in the end.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Get Focused Now, Stop playing with your Future!

Okay, we are now in April. Many of us have set up New Year Resolutions and many of us are not even on the path to seeing them resolved. Well, enough is enough. Here's an exercise that I came across on WordPress.com that I thought I would share. Now I must admit, you can just read this blog and still be in the same position you are in now, or you can read, do the exercise, and make a change now. It's up to you.

Many people feel they don't need someone telling them to accomplish their goals but they complain when things are not happening. Shame on you. Take it from me, you got to do something. So this exercise will help you start now making tomorrow a better day. It's time you get focused.

Here's the exercise:

You will need a pen, three sheets of paper, and a quiet place. Ready?

1. On a clean sheet of paper draw a circle in the middle on the page. This circle should be big enough to write the word ME in the middle of it. WordPress says draw a stick figure. Either way is okay. Once you have done that just start writing whatever comes to your mind when you think about your future. That's right any and everything that comes to your mind. DON'T restrict it in any way. Give yourself only sixty seconds to do this. Ready, Set, GO!

2. Now, get another sheet of clean paper, draw the same circle or stick figure. On this sheet of paper you are going to write the things you are passionate about when it comes to your future. Here you are going to consider your obsessions, natural talents, knowledge base, experiences, skills, Things that get you out of the bed in the morning, things you smile about, things you love, things you promised yourself, things that keep you up at night, favorite quotes, websites, TV shows, personalities, and YES, those New Year's resolutions still at bay, You are writing down the things you find yourself gravitating to time and time again. Most importantly the things you would do even if you did not get paid to them. Got it? Good, Again only give yourself 60 seconds. So, Ready, Set, GO!

3. On the last sheet of clean paper, you are going to list all that things that came to mind on the first sheet. I would say do this in a table like format. Meaning across the page make a column for each one. then next you are going to look at your second page and start to categorize the things you are passionate about under the correct column. Give yourself 120 seconds for this next part. Based on the columns that have formed, you are going to set some goals to accomplish in the next 30 days. Ready, Set, GO!

Now you should see patterns beginning to develop, you should start to see things clearer. If not, here's the next step, you need to revisit your core values and set up a life plan for your life. In my next blog I will talk more about this. It's time you stop playing with the idea of being a person of purpose and do something about it. Get focused today.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Are You A Pig

Now I know many of you are reading this because of the title. So Are you? Are you a pig?

Let me ask it this way, Are you Persistent? Are you Informative? Do you have Goals? If your answer is "YES" to all the questions, then I must ask one more question. What are you going to do about it?

Recently, I read that there are three elements in the sales-prosperity troika. They are Persistence, Information and Goals. Good selling is good management. Put even better is it good SELF management. A person that has good management of time, self and resources is well on their way to getting the promotion, starting the company, getting that mate or having that child. Whatever your dream is, you must have a good management system behind you and in front of you if the truth must be told.

Again, I ask you are you a P.I.G.?I talk to many individuals who say they don't need a coach but I hear in their statements that they are all over the place. They are inconsistent, stressed, stretched and basically running in circles. They have what it takes to achieve their goals, they just have not written anything down or if they have written it down they are not following their own plan. If this is you? Don't worry we all have those moments in our lives. We want to live the dream but the dream seems to be just outside of our grasp and we are settling (Whether we think we are or not) for less.

Let me help you, if you have not already, STOP running in circles and get organized. Write down your short-, medium-, and long-term goals and objectives. I suggest 1 month, 3 month, 6 month, 1 yr and 5 yr plan to start off with. In your plan you should have salary, career/business, education, house, car, family, vacations, how you will help others. You can add items to make it more personal to you. You will want to update these goals and objectives often. This means don't just write them and then walk away, put it somewhere where you can see them daily.

I guarantee you do this and you will start to see manifestation of your goals and objectives. Holding ambitions in thought like this daily can cause them to fulfill themselves almost miraculously! Don't believe me? I dare you to try it and not deviate from your plans or skip steps. Remember if you work the plan, the plan will work. Go ahead and be a PIG!

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

What Is Your Real Reason You Do What You Do?

Recently I was asked, Why do you do what you do? At first I started with my usual answer and then something deep inside me rose up and I shifted in the midst of my sentence and started talking from a place so deep inside me that I become emotional. What i realized from that moment is that why I do what I do is more than I just want to help people discover their life calling and purpose. It is more than helping a person with low-sel;f esteem realize that they can be and do more than they ever imagined. That makes me smile and feel all warm inside but the real reason I do what I do is more than that. It is simply  about me. It's what I call, from my selling Mary Kay days, "My I-Story".

When you stop and think about it. You do what you do because of a change in your life. Somewhere, somehow, you made a transformation in your life that alter your reason for living. It changed you path and caused you to want to share that special feeling with others. You wanted everyone to know that feeling that self worth, that love, that success, etc was possible. I finish this blog with a speech from Tony Robbins a few years back at a TED Event: "Why we do what we do - June 2006"

Let me tell you what they are. First one: certainty. Now, these are not goals or desires, these are universal. Everyone needs certainty that they can avoid pain and at least be comfortable. Now, how do you get it? Control everybody? Develop a skill? Give up? Smoke a cigarette? And if you got totally certain, ironically, even though we all need that --like if you're not certain about your health, or your children, or money, you don't think about much. You're not sure if the ceiling's going to hold up, you're not going to listen to any speaker. But, while we go for certainty differently, if we get total certainty, we get what? What do you feel if you're certain? You know what's going to happen, when it's going to happen, how it's going to happen -- what would you feel? Bored out of your minds. So, God, gave us a second human need, which is uncertainty. We need variety. We need surprise. 

So, variety is important. Have you ever rented a video or a film that you've already seen? Who's done this? All right. Why are you doing it? You're certain it's good because you read it before, saw it before, but you're hoping it's been long enough you've forgotten, that there's variety. 

Third human need, critical: significance. We all need to feel important, special, unique. You can get it by making more money. You can do it by being more spiritual. You can do it by getting yourself in a situation where you put more tattoos and earrings in places humans don't want to know. Whatever it takes. The fastest way to do this, if you have no background, no culture, no belief and resources or resourcefulness, is violence. If I put a gun to your head and I live in the 'hood, instantly I'm significant. Zero to 10. How high? 10. How certain am I that you're going to respond to me? 10. How much uncertainty? Who knows what's going to happen next? Kind of exciting. Like climbing up into a cave and doing that stuff all the way down there. Total variety and uncertainty. And it's significant, isn't it? So you want to risk your life for it. So that's why violence has always been around and will be around unless we have a consciousness change as a species. Now, you can get significance a million ways, but to be significant, you've got to be unique and different.

Here's what we really need: connection and love -- fourth need. We all want it. Most people settle for connection because love's too scary. Don't want to get hurt. Who here has ever been hurt in an intimate relationship?  And you're going to get hurt again.Aren't you glad you came to this positive visit? But here's what's true -- we need it. We can do it through intimacy, through friendship, through prayer, through walking in nature. If nothing else works for you, get a dog. Don't get a cat. Get a dog, because if you leave for two minutes, it's like you've been gone for six months when you show back up again five minutes later, right? 

Now, these first four needs, every human finds a way to meet. Even if you lie to yourself, you need to have split personalities. But the last two needs -- the first four needs are called the needs of the personalities, is what I call it -- the last two are the needs of the spirit. And this is where fulfillment comes. You won't get fulfillment from the first four. You'll figure a way -- smoke, drink, do whatever -- to meet the first four, but the last two -- number five: you must grow. We all know the answer here. If you don't grow, you're what? If a relationship's not growing, if a business is not growing, if you're not growing, it doesn't matter how much money you have, how many friends you have, how many people love you, you feel like hell. And the reason we grow, I believe, is so we have something to give of value.

Because the sixth need is to contribute beyond ourselves. Because we all know, corny as it sounds, the secret to living is giving. We all know life's not about me; it's about we. This culture knows that. This room knows that. And it's exciting. When you see Nicholas up here talking about his $100 computer, the most passionate exciting thing is: here's a genius, but he's got a calling now. You can feel the difference in him and it's beautiful. And that calling can touch other people. In my own life, my life was touched because when I was 11 years old, Thanksgiving, no money, no food -- we're not going to starve, but my father was totally messed up. My mom was letting him know how bad he messed up. And somebody came to the door and delivered food. My father made three decisions. I know what they were briefly. His focus was: "This is charity. What does it mean? I'm worthless. What've I got to do? Leave my family." Which he did. The time was one of the most painfulexperiences of life. My three decisions gave me a different path. I said, "Focus on: 'there's food'" -- what a concept, you know. 

Second -- but this is what changed my life, this is what shaped me as a human being -- "Somebody's gift. I don't even know who it is." My father always said, "No one gives a s***." And all of a sudden, somebody I don't know, they're not asking for anything, they're just giving our family food, looking out for us. It made me believe this: "What does it mean that strangers care?" And what that made me decide is, if strangers care about me and my family, I care about them. What am I going to do? I'm going to do something to make a difference. So, when I was 17, I went out one day on Thanksgiving. It was my target for years to have enough money to feed two families. The most fun thing I ever did in my life, the most moving. Then next year I did four. I didn't tell anybody what I was doing. Next year eight. I wasn't doing it for brownie points, but after eight, I thought, I could use some help. 

So sure enough, I went out and what did I do? I got my friends involved and I grew companies and then I got 11 companies and I built the foundation. Now, 18 years later, I'm proud to tell you, last year we fed two million people in 35 countries through our foundation, all during the holidays: Thanksgiving, Christmas -- (Applause) -- in all the different countries around the world. It's been fantastic. Thank you. So, I don't tell you that to brag; I tell you because I'm proud of human beings, because they get excited to contribute once they've had the chance to experience it, not talk about it.

So, finally -- and I'm about out of time -- the target that shapes you -- here's what's different about people. We have the same needs, but are you a certainty freak? Is that what you value most, or uncertainty? This man here couldn't be a certainty freak if he climbed through those caves. Are you driven by significance or love? We all need all six, but whatever your lead system is, tilts you in a different direction. And as you move in a direction, you have a destination or destiny. The second piece is the map. Think of that as the operating system that tells you how to get there. And some people's map is: "I'm going to save lives even if I die for other people," and they're firemen. Somebody else is: "I'm going to kill people to do it." They're trying to meet the same needs of significance, right? They want to honor God or honor their family, but they have a different map.

The last piece is emotion. I'd say one of the parts of the map is like time. Some people's idea of a long time is 100 years. Somebody else's is three seconds, which is what I have. And the last one I've already mentioned, that fell to you. If you've got a target and you've got a map and let's say -- I can't use Google because I love Macs and they haven't made it good for Macs yet -- so if you use MapQuest -- how many have made this fatal mistake of using MapQuest at some time? You use this thing and you don't get there. Well, imagine if your beliefs guarantee you can never get to where you want to go?(Laughter)

The last thing is emotion. Now, here's what I'll tell you about emotion. There are 6,000 emotions that we all have words for in the English language, which is just a linguistic representation, right, that changes by language. But if your dominant emotions -- if I had more time, I have 20,000 people or 1,000, and I have them write down all the emotions that they experience in an average week, and I gave them as long as they needed, and on one side they write empowering emotions, the other's disempowering -- guess how many emotions people experience? Less than 12. And half of those make them feel bad....

What I walk away from this speech hearing is that I most know what drives me to do what i do. I have to know what i am focusing on, what it means to me and what i am going to do about it. Once I can grasp that then I know my real reason for doing what I do. The same is true for life or business. Get to know the real reason you do what you do.


Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Color Your Destiny

WATCH YOUR THOUGHTS; THEY BECOME YOUR WORDS.

WATCH YOUR WORDS; THEY BECOME YOUR ACTIONS.

WATCH YOUR ACTIONS; THEY BECOME YOUR HABITS.

WATCH YOUR HABITS; THEY BECOME YOUR CHARACTER.

WATCH YOUR CHARACTER, FOR IT WILL BECOME YOUR DESTINY.

- Frank Outlaw 

This is a famous quote and many of us will agree with the sentiment of the quote. However, we forget that they are more than one way to view our lives. We have options. We can decide to see the glass half full or half empty. It's our choice.

What I really want you think about today is:

1. Understand YOU as an Individual and as a Member of Diverse Local and Global Communities
2. Identify thoughts and feelings and how they relate to your concept of YOU

If you get an opportunity take a moment to download a free copy of Peter Klein's "The Go-Getter" on the Kindle or look for a copy of "Who Moved My Cheese" by Spencer Johnson. Both of these books will give you a different way of viewing what you say you want. They will help you see that when you take the time to understand what it is you want, you will stop at nothing to get it done. Even impossible situations can be overcome by changing your thoughts.

After reading these books, I want you to get a sheet of paper, draw three lines and then get some glue, toothpaste or other liquid. I want you to trace the lines with the liquid and let it sit for 30 seconds. After it has set, try to put the liquid back in the original container. Then take a moment to journal about your experience. Mainly, I want you to journal about the reality that sinks into your mind about how you present who you are and what you want to the world. 

How do you want the world to view you. It's your time now to color your destiny.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Do You Have Vision?

Many people are talking about vision boards. What exactly is a vision board and why do you need one. More importantly than that do they really work?

Let me start with what is a vision board. A vision board is a collage of pictures, statements, ideas that represent things your want to attract to your life. It is just that simple.

So now, let us talk about why you would need a vision board. Many of us focus on the day in and day out things that happen in our lives. However, if the circumstances of our lives are negative, then we tend to focus on that negativity and we miss the wonderful things trying to change our lives. With a vision board, it helps you to see where you want to go instead of where you are. It helps you to focus on the possibilities. So it redirects your energy to stretch beyond the here and now, thus allowing you to attract the positive and eliminate the negative.

Now, let us go off course a bit and talk about the wonder of a vision board party. Sometimes in our lives, we are so busy. We may want to try to create a vision board but left to our devices, it just something that never gets done because there is always something more pressing that cutting out pictures and gluing them to a poster board. Therefore, it never is completed. A vision board party says, "I am going to take a few hours out of my busy schedule hang with some friends and dream. I will laugh, chat, eat and be inspired to achieve my goals with friends that are ready for the a great life." Not only do you get to build some awesome memories with those in attendance of the party but also you get to accomplish something that will change your life and those that attend.

Here are a few tips on having a successful vision board party:

Invite your friends. Do not invite those that have a negative attitude. This party should be the one place you can tap into your inner child. It is time to dream and no dream is too small or big, actually the bigger the better. You can send out invites but a simple email will do just fine for this. Remember it is a time to have fun so do not stress over it. Make sure you take your vitamins and tell your guest to bring their electrifying energy, who knows what will happen and what memories this will bring for years to come.

Request each guest to bring a pair of scissors, glue stick, a stack of old magazines, and an appetizer (dessert, finger foods, bottle of wine or juice). I also include their favorite CD of music what is a party without some dancing music.

Once you have an estimate of how many guest will attend. Go to your local dollar store and buy a poster board for each person attending. (I like to buy different colored ones but you can get all white, it really up to you). You can also purchase a handful of glue sticks to make sure that you have enough in case a guest forgets to bring one. Some markers, crayons, colored pencils and extra scissors are great to have also. If you are an arts and crafts type of individual, swatches of material, lace, beads and gems are a great addition too. (You can even assign certain items to guest if you like.) Do not forget to get some snacks to share and drinks too.

On the day of the party, you can:

Start with introductions and intentions, especially if there are individuals who may not know each other. Have each guest state their name and what they hope to achieve with their vision board.

Put on the music and get to work. Each guest can start with signing the back of the vision board (I do this because it gives me a sense of ownership. Like this is MY vision and it's empowering.) Then start clipping pictures from magazines. Leave no magazine un-shredded. Lay out the general design for your board. I always say put the largest image (which should be your most important desire) in the center of the board.

Make sure they all get it finished that night. Many times people leave with a few things to do to their vision board and never get it done. It is better to leave with a finished board. It is okay to leave some space for additional pictures to be added as you find them but the general idea should be completed at the party. Also, do not make your board to chaotic because you may bring chaos to your life and that would defeat your purpose!

Finally, just eat, drink and be MERRY! Laugh often and dream big!

Now does it really WORK? My answer is YES! Why does it work? Well, if you truly believe that you should live a fulfilling life and have the things you desire on your vision board, and you are open to the realization of your intentions, it will come to you. Do not put a lot of thought in the "how" you just hold on to the “what” will happen. When you are open to your dreams manifesting, they will find their way to you. You work the plan and the plan will work. You look at the board daily. Put it in a place where it is always a reminder of what you want. Attract what you want, deflect what you do not want and you will receive everything on your board. You get what you focus on!

Now start to dream big!


Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group