How To Get A Raise on Your Job!

Employee: Excuse me sir, may I talk to you?  

Boss: Sure, come on in.   What can I do for you?

Employee:  Well sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this prestigious firm for over ten years.

Boss:  Yes. 

Employee:  I won't beat around the bush.   Sir, I would like a raise. I currently have four companies after me and so I decided to talk to you first.

Boss:  A raise?   I would love to give you a raise, but this is just not the right time. 

Employee:  I understand your position, and I know that the current economic down turn has had a negative impact on sales, but you must also take into consideration my hard work, pro- activeness and loyalty to this company for over a decade.

Boss:  Taking into account these factors, and considering I don't want to start a brain drain, I'm willing to offer you a ten percent raise and an extra five days of vacation time.  How does that sound? 

Employee:  Great!   It's a deal!   Thank you, sir!

Boss:  Before you go, just out of curiosity, what companies were after you? 

Employee:  Oh, the Electric Company, Gas Company, Water Company and the Mortgage Company!

Sometimes you just have to ask for what you want and stop thinking that they don't want to do it. I thought this was a funny but realistic look at a simple problem being resolved quickly.

Avoiding And Resolving Conflict

The effects of conflict in our lives can be widespread and costly. Studies have shown that 24% to 60 % of our time and energy is spent dealing with with anger. Anger is the number one cause of conflicts. Anger leads to decreased productivity on our jobs, in our businesses and in our relationships. anger also leads to increased stress, hampered performance, absenteeism, and its most extreme result is violence and death.

Conflicts can manifest from a number of factors and can be individual or group focused. Competition is a sore spot for conflicts to fester. Whether it is in your relationships, on the job, or business owners of the same niche. the easiest way to resolve conflict quickly is to avoid it in the first place, here are some steps to help you do just that:

1. Communicate: Conflict happens when communication breaks down. People are not on the same page and each side has strong opinions. Leaders should also communicate the goals of the organization, group or assignment and work with individuals to help them feel significant in each step. this is not to say hold their hands but take a moment to hear them out and help them see the bigger picture. Most important treat every one the same.

2. Listen: You have one mouth and two hears. that is not a mistake. You should do twice as much listen as you do talking. make sure you hear what the people are saying. Acknowledge and clarify what you have heard without drawing your own conclusions. Make sure that you support their feeling and provide them with the resources to accomplish their goals.

3.Set boundaries: You can be professional, empathetic, and compassionate toward  individuals without crossing the line of giving away your power. Adapt to the environment you are in but DO not give away your power to choose.

4. Nip it in the bud: If you notice a situation becoming heated, tempers or voices are rising, address the situation as soon as possible. Speak about teh elephant in the room as it were. Listen carefully and then offer a solution based on what you heard. Resolve it in a matter that this cannot repeat itself.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Color Your Destiny

WATCH YOUR THOUGHTS; THEY BECOME YOUR WORDS.

WATCH YOUR WORDS; THEY BECOME YOUR ACTIONS.

WATCH YOUR ACTIONS; THEY BECOME YOUR HABITS.

WATCH YOUR HABITS; THEY BECOME YOUR CHARACTER.

WATCH YOUR CHARACTER, FOR IT WILL BECOME YOUR DESTINY.

- Frank Outlaw 

This is a famous quote and many of us will agree with the sentiment of the quote. However, we forget that they are more than one way to view our lives. We have options. We can decide to see the glass half full or half empty. It's our choice.

What I really want you think about today is:

1. Understand YOU as an Individual and as a Member of Diverse Local and Global Communities
2. Identify thoughts and feelings and how they relate to your concept of YOU

If you get an opportunity take a moment to download a free copy of Peter Klein's "The Go-Getter" on the Kindle or look for a copy of "Who Moved My Cheese" by Spencer Johnson. Both of these books will give you a different way of viewing what you say you want. They will help you see that when you take the time to understand what it is you want, you will stop at nothing to get it done. Even impossible situations can be overcome by changing your thoughts.

After reading these books, I want you to get a sheet of paper, draw three lines and then get some glue, toothpaste or other liquid. I want you to trace the lines with the liquid and let it sit for 30 seconds. After it has set, try to put the liquid back in the original container. Then take a moment to journal about your experience. Mainly, I want you to journal about the reality that sinks into your mind about how you present who you are and what you want to the world. 

How do you want the world to view you. It's your time now to color your destiny.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

How To Feast On Healthy And Delicious Relationships—And Protect Yourself From Poisonous People By Martha Beck

The Company You Keep

As soon as you could bring your baby hands to your mouth, you instinctively began tasting everything you could reach, learning which substances tasted poisonous, which were tasty. You were born also with a set of analogous social instincts. As a child, you clearly felt people's affect on you. Some made you feel happy and safe; others scared or repelled you.

Unfortunately, you were soon taught to override your instincts. "Give me a kiss!" adults may have insisted. "Share your toys with little Chris! Be nice!" Bit by bit, you learned not to pull away from poisonous people. Now you may voluntarily interact with people who leave you feeling wounded, betrayed, or confused. You need to re-learn your instincts for keeping toxic people at bay and attracting nourishing relationships. You'll need two skills: Screening and boundary-setting.

1. Screening People

This is the mental equivalent of a baby's taste-testing. Whenever you sense someone is lying, hostile, or unsafe, you feel a set of subtle psychological signals that can best be described with one simple word: "Ick!" Safe, supportive people create an inner "Yum!" Their company makes you feel healthier and stronger.

To use your screening instincts, ask yourself, "How do I feel after being with this individual?" (Don't ask how you feel when you're with the person—social triggers override instincts while you're in someone's presence.) The "aftertaste" is your best screening mechanism. Use it to help set boundaries appropriate to your instinctive perceptions.

2. Setting Boundaries

Picture yourself at the center of infinite concentric circles. Someone in the ring next to you can touch you any time. People several circles out can talk to you, but not touch you. Those who are, say, 50 circles from the center have to shout for you to hear them.

Now think of someone you know. Call this person X. Imagine X standing in the circle next to you. If you feel an "Ick!" and want to physically pull back, X is too close. Move X back a circle—or two, or three, or 20—until the "Ick!" subsides. If you feel yourself wanting to lean forward toward X, you've gone too far. 

3. Find the distance that feels balanced.

This distance is a rough indication of how much you instinctively trust each person. Keep it in mind when deciding how much time and information you spend with them. If you must spend time with a person you mistrust or dislike, be polite but private. Don't leave your center circle by offering to do things for them or by attacking them. Simply don't engage.

4. The Nourishing Life

Screening and boundary setting may not seem "nice" to your social mind, but they're the best steps you can take to surround yourself with people who nourish you while relegating toxic people to a distance where they can't poison you. They'll make your social life healthy and delicious. You knew that when you were born. Reclaim your true nature and know it again.

Life coach Martha Beck is a columnist for O, The Oprah Magazine and best-selling author of Finding Your Own North Star and Expecting Adam. Her latest book is Steering by Starlight.