A Woman Healed of Life's Expereicnes

Dr. Susan Jeffers says, “Life is not a struggle but an opportunity”.  I know that there are some that read those words and said, “Yeah right, that is not true for me. I have suffered at the hands of those I love. My life has not presented any opportunities to me. It seems that when I think things could come together, they fall apart.” Well I understand your frustration and want to share a bit of my story with you.

I was raised in a verbally abusive home where I was sexually molested and witnessed domestic violence against my mother. I grew up to be angry and built a wall to protect me from everything. Relationship after relationship failed. One day I realized that the life I was living was just a shadow of what could be.  The pain that seemed to hold me prisoner was of my own doing. I was the one not willing to forgive.  I was the one not moving forward. It was like an epiphany, if I would just rise above my hurt I could see a better way of doing things. That day I made up my choice to surrender to God’s love and let the healing begin. I wanted to be free.  However, I knew that would take some restoration of my inner emotions. I would have to learn how to look at life differently, not using my own reasoning because it was skewed and fragile.

I sought help through counselors and coaches. I began to journal, revisiting that pain and allowing love to overcome me. The process was long but thorough.  I emerged a woman healed of life’s experiences. Healing comes in various forms, now as a Pastor and Transformation Empowerment Coach I help other women realize they too can live above hurt.

The first step can be the hardest however, if you are truly ready for healing to occur in your life then you will allow this step to take place, including removing all negative and unhealthy influences in your life. Many times, it is what we allow in our lives that hinder us the most. I had to deal with the past in order to maintain my present and secure my future.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Logic Has It's Place

Do you remember Star Trek and the famous saying of Mr. Spock. He would always say if something was logical or illogical. He was not a man bothered with emotions. So when emotions came into play, he would always deem it as illogical. Many of us are the same way. We want our lives to come together and we want to be happy with our decisions and actions. However, walking in your purpose and fulfilling your destiny always seems illogical. The logic is just not there.

We have bills that need to be paid, we have responsibilities and logic says we need to make sure that we take care of all that. However, we are dying inside because we are not allowing the illogical and the emotional to have expression in our lives. Understand this, I know it's hard to make a decision without knowing for sure what will happen. We actually do this everyday, we live. We go to work, drive a car, take an airplane ride, etc without knowing if we will reach our destination. Okay, you are right, there's a difference in this kind of logic. However, the truth is the truth. It is illogical for us to put ourselves in harm's way each and everyday with such common actions, but we do. Just think, when someone does not arrive at a destination due to some tragic event we call it an accident.

However, when we do not arrive at our destined life, we call it being safe. It's actually just as tragic as the accident. Follow me just a bit longer.

When you are approached by a salesperson in a store or even in your home, you are looking for that person to establish a firm foundation based on your communicated needs, true customer service, common interests and honesty. this strengthens the reasons you buy now instead of later. Emotion, rather than logic, may prompt most people to buy that new TV, car, house, pair of shoes, or latest gadget. Of course there may be some buyer's remorse later that may crumpled the confidence born in the moment of emotion. When logic kicks in, you may return the item or, depending on how emotional attached you are, you will try to make it work into your current lifestyle.

The same is true for walking out purpose and destiny. You need to reinforce your emotional tie with your logical thinking. Listen a good sales person will reinforce your emotional reasons for buying as well as fortify them with solid, logical bottom-line reasons that you made the right decision. So when you are at home and working your budget, that remorse will not set in. You must be able and willing to do the same with your dreams. You must understand that reasons you are taking the chance on living them out in moments of doubt  and lock in the journey. Understand that logic has it's place but it's not there to talk you out of it but to aid you in why it should happen, and most importantly, why it should happen.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

The Fear of Rejection, Can It Be Overcome?

Many suffer from the fear of rejection. In my recent studying for my new Tele-seminar series "Fear Is Not An Option" I took a close look at why we allow this fear to operate and many times stop us from moving forward in life.

It begins with the social conditioning that stands between two people when they first meet. We are taught to not speak to strangers. We are taught that we should judge certain factors before we trust another individuals. In most cases this keeps us from being "had" however, when it comes to us stepping out of our comfort zone and doing something a bit different than we have in the past. This actually becomes a hindrance to us.

We know that people will look at us as we approach them, and they will begin a process that includes all five senses and their intuition. This collaboration of the senses and our human intention is deeply embedded in us and has been crafted by social conditioning. this is where the saying, "First impressions are the lasting ones."

Let me back up a bit and then push forward, When we first meet someone we will extend our hand in a hearty handshake. Have you ever asked yourself why we do that? Well, in African cultures a raised-palm greeting and our own American culture of a handshake has survived as evidence to show the intended that we do not have a weapon or harbor evil intent in our hearts against them. In other words, we are extending our-self to them in a friendly gesture, with hopes that our gesture is returned. This is a primitive example but think about it. If they do not accept our greeting, or in most cases our handshake. We have been rejected.

So the first impression holds a great deal in whether one is rejected or accepted. When you are approaching someone, (whether business or personal) they are watching your body language. They are looking at what you have on, they are listening to your voice tone, how you take your steps, and again your handshake. Not to mention any smells that you carry. So we take in all this data and then we measure it against what we have learned to look for in someone who is successful, honest, and trustworthy.

There was a study done by Albert Mehrabian of UCLA several years ago that stated that communication effectiveness is 55% dependent on body language. What this tells me is that lasting impressions are formed without a word being uttered by you. So, how do you overcome this dilemma?

First, you should remember this keep it simple and keep it natural. You only have 60 seconds to make a good impression and you do not want to waste it. Secondly, you are there to make a connection. If you really want to get my attention, know something about me and connect with me on a personal level.

If you have not already, signed up for my Tele-Seminar Series, "Fear is Not an Option" you may want to do that now. there are some many more tips on this subject that I would love to share with you.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Register Today Fear is Not an Option Tele-seminar Series

Online Ticketing for FEAR Is Not An Option Tele-Seminar Series powered by Eventbrite

Join Me with my New Series "Fear Is Not An Option"

Register Now http://fearisnotanoptionseries.eventbrite.com/

Attention: Do you Desire to Live A Fearless Life and Live Your Dreams Successfully?

"FEAR IS NOT AN OPTION TELE-SEMINAR SERIES"

Tele-seminars begins Monday, March 26, 2012 @ 5PM PST

Each Seminar will be on the Fourth Monday of the Month ending July 23, 2012. All seminars are @ 5PM PST

Do you SUFFER From:

• Fear of Rejection
• Fear of Failure
• Fear of Committment
• Fear of Intimacy
• Fear of Success

Suffering from these common fears, can aid in your missing out on the true pleasures and successes life has to offer you. You become stuck and dissatified. You must realize this:

"Love is what we were born with. Fear is waht we learned here."

-Marianne Williamson

I am Coach Linda of Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group and I am excited about the opportunity to share with you how I have manifested my dreams using fear as a catalyst. Not only has it gotten me massive results, it has transformed my life.

I am no stranger to life's up and downs, wanting to feel significant and make a contribution to the bigger picture, yet not able to find my way. I sought after a life with meaning. I was making a good salary, had a nice car, all the nice clothes and name brand shoes and purses a lady could ever want. I had friends and family that a young woman with a bright future needed surrounding her.

However, there was something missing!

Let me tell you, I have seen life's worse moments too, being homeless, jobless and trying to make ends meet with a plan that was going no where fast and things seemed to get worse and no improvement was insight. I had dreams but at the rate I was going, there was no way I would ever see the realization of them. I was frustrated and beat up to say the least. I knew what it meant to have what you want and I was not willing to settle for less, but less was all I seemed to be getting. Sound familiar?

It was not until I dealt with the real issues in my life that the good, the bad and the indifferent started making sense to me. I realized that achieving your dreams and seeing them manifest is possible. You can have a meaningful life and be all you are created to be. There is no secret, it actually right in our face when you really  think about it. Listen whether you like your current lifestyle or you are searching for that place you belong, If you truly feel there is more for you than the normal run of the mill, I can help you see the path to real change and satisfaction. 

Here's what you will get from this series:

• How to use fear to your advantage
• How to face your fears and overcome them
• How to manifest your dreams despite your current situation
• Why you should live your dreams now
• Understanding the cost of your dream
• Effective ways to plan your life
• Time management
• Gaining the benefits of your dreams NOW
• Strategies and techniques that will transform your life

Isnt it time you did something that will affect your life now?

Why wait, Do it Today!

Just register Today for the Series of Seminars or for the one you feel is needed most. After you have register you will recieve all the information you need to participate in this life changing series. If you are unable to be there live on the calls, no worries, Still register for the series and get access to the recording within 24 hours of the calls. It is just that simple to change your life!

Let the Journey Begin!

To Register go to http://fearisnotanoptionseries.eventbrite.com/

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Give the “F” Word the Middle Finger

Dear Readers:

I found this blog today and wanted to share it with you. I hope it inspires you as it has me.

Coach Linda Hillman

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we by let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”—————-Marianne Williamson

It’s time to give the “F” word the middle finger. So what is the “F” word? FEAR!!  I am not necessarily talking about giving fear the finger but rather the same disposition you would have when you give someone the finger. When you passionately and forcefully yell out that letter word towards any and every body, is the same disposition you need to have towards fear.

Fear is anything that is not Love. Bitterness, anger, jealousy, hatred, negativity, resentment, depression, disrespect, procrastination, lying, gossip, pride, sadness, unforgiveness, etc are all acts of fear. We hide behind these things because in actuality we are scared, we are avoiding something, we think that these traits that we adopt, we become will protect us, will shield, will hide our vulnerability, will make us appear to be something that we really not, will keep others from knowing us, will keep us in control.

Joy, peace, patience, faith, humility, a smile or hug, discipline, determination, compassion, kindness, empowerment, listening, charity, goodness, forgiveness, loyalty, honesty, respect, self-worth, confidence, positivity, gratefulness, etc are acts of love.

So either you are operating in love or you are operating in fear.

Cease waking up in fear, living in fear, and going to sleep in fear. Today you must confront fear and it put it in its place. Today you must tell fear off, cuss fear, out, tell fear to shut up, tell fear it has you mistaken with the old you.

Just think about the entire nasty, negative, horrid things fear tells you about you, if those words came from another person what would you do? The same attitude you would have if someone dare to mouth the insults, spew the negativity, talk about you to your face, telling you ain’t good enough, will never be good enough, and crazy you even think that you were good enough that same, is the same attitude you need to give that little voice that pops and tries to derail you off of your path.

See when you confront fear, you are declaring war, so you must approach the situation ready to rumble, ready to scrap, ready to fight to the bloody end. And please believe ironically, as scary as FEAR is, as limited as it is, will not go out without a fight. So you have to come armored up, suited up, and booted up.

Fear is going to go into its bag of tricks and try to disillusion you with things from the past. It will remind you of the failures, the rejections, the heartache, the pain, the betrayal, the shame, the blame, the mistakes, the embarrassments, the weaknesses, the low points in your life.

They may be facts, face them, see them for what they are, learn from them, and finally release them. Realize that those facts no longer have to be truths in your life. You can’t change the facts but you can change the truths that you associate with the facts. You no longer have to keep feeding life into what happened. Disassociate your feelings from what happened negatively in your life. That doesn’t mean it didn’t happened, it just mean you are moving forth and no longer living in bondage. You no longer have to live in the “what happened” because you chose to live in the “what’s happening”, (right now today).

This battle, this inner self conflict will be ongoing. Please be reminded when attacking fear, you are not attacking yourself. You are talking to that false emotion that resides in you. So please do not talk down to yourself. Call out fear by its name, not yours because no matter what it may seem, fear is not you. Every time it rears its ugly head and attempt to stop you from moving forth. Attack it immediately, call it the liar that it is, the coward that it is. (I even challenge you to ask fear, what is it really afraid of. Take heed to the response.)

Fear is an imposter pretending to be us. When we operate in fear, we are not being ourselves, who we are supposed to be. Fear means False Evidence Appearing Real. That doesn’t just apply to the thing(s) that you fear that aren’t really real. It also applies to you at the time you are operating in fear. It isn’t you!!! So the more you allow fear to impersonate you and impose its limited beliefs on you, you will never become the real you and live your real life as you!!

You tell fear you can do it and will do it. Tell fear that God gave you peace and sound mind. Tell fear that it can go to hell, matter fact bind it up, rebuke it, and yell at it if you have to. Tell fear you are a child of God, you are moving forward, you are courageous, you are a conqueror, you are success, you are beautiful, you are healthy, you are love, you are whatever God told you are, You’re whatever your heart desire. Say it now I AM __________________________!!! Say it again, I AM ___________________!!! WHO AM I NOT BE, NOT TO DO , AND IF NOTHING ELSE NOT TO AT LEAST TRY WITH ALL MY MIGHT?!!

Drown fear out in love (traits listed above) by acting in love, being love, living love, believing in love, accepting love. Edifying yourself is the first step because you are declaring, decreeing, and affirming your greatness. You will not allow anything to get in your way. You love yourself to know that there is no truth in fear.

Please be advised, that fear will return, it always does. I listed above the different forms of fear, so it may display itself differently or it may use the same tricks it has before. Fear knows you well, well actually it knows the old you well, so it know what attacks would be effective. Regardless, when it’s your move, dig deep, face that fear(s), call it out by its name, smile, give it the middle finger, and tell it I CAN, I WILL, and I AM!!  Thank God, keep it moving in pursuit of your ambition and PREVAIL!!

Sharisa Robertson is the founder of Lilies of the Field and uses her testimony of overcoming abuse to help other women heal. She resides in Detroit with the love of her life and their three children. She’s currently working on many projects and is enjoying living out her dream. www.iamalilyofthefield.com