Many people are more likely to believe what others say about you then they are to believe what you say about yourself. It's a human nature thing. In short, they expect you to provide clear proof of what you've demonstrated before trusting you and allowing a relationship to develop. Many times this can be frustrating, especially to the business owner, new person in the group, etc.
The answer is references. They are needed to "close the deal". I mean you see those commercial about buying a car, we are told to show me the Car-fax. If you ignore this need to be validated by those who have a relationship with you already you will miss out on potentially great relationships. Remember we are conditioned to what to see the "proof in the pudding."
Now this can work both ways, you will have those that sing your praises, they will always see the cup as half full. On the other hand, you will have those that will always see the cup as half empty. This is good for you. Learn from those who speak negative about an encounter with you. Ask yourself how you can make it better the next time it comes up. Learn from your past mistakes and keep it moving. However, you can also learn from those that speak well of you.
In achieving your goals, you must always be growing. Otherwise, your dreams will being to become old news. Keep in mind the Wizard from Oz. Those in Oz had never seen a hot air balloon when he arrived, they assumed he was some great being, but he lived in fear that someone would discover his truth. When the good witch came to speak with Dorothy and her friends, they were told the very things they deemed as negative were actually their strengths. Our dreams to do not require us to change, it requires us to learn and grow. Dig deep inside of us and allow are truth to be known.
Never trust a stranger to tell your story. You tell your truth from a place of inward reflection. those that are lucky enough to be in relationship with you, will see that you have what it takes to go all the way. Don't worry they will spread the news.
Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group
Showing posts with label stranger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stranger. Show all posts
Friday, March 23, 2012
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
The Fear of Rejection, Can It Be Overcome?
Many suffer from the fear of rejection. In my recent studying for my new Tele-seminar series "Fear Is Not An Option" I took a close look at why we allow this fear to operate and many times stop us from moving forward in life.
It begins with the social conditioning that stands between two people when they first meet. We are taught to not speak to strangers. We are taught that we should judge certain factors before we trust another individuals. In most cases this keeps us from being "had" however, when it comes to us stepping out of our comfort zone and doing something a bit different than we have in the past. This actually becomes a hindrance to us.
We know that people will look at us as we approach them, and they will begin a process that includes all five senses and their intuition. This collaboration of the senses and our human intention is deeply embedded in us and has been crafted by social conditioning. this is where the saying, "First impressions are the lasting ones."
Let me back up a bit and then push forward, When we first meet someone we will extend our hand in a hearty handshake. Have you ever asked yourself why we do that? Well, in African cultures a raised-palm greeting and our own American culture of a handshake has survived as evidence to show the intended that we do not have a weapon or harbor evil intent in our hearts against them. In other words, we are extending our-self to them in a friendly gesture, with hopes that our gesture is returned. This is a primitive example but think about it. If they do not accept our greeting, or in most cases our handshake. We have been rejected.
So the first impression holds a great deal in whether one is rejected or accepted. When you are approaching someone, (whether business or personal) they are watching your body language. They are looking at what you have on, they are listening to your voice tone, how you take your steps, and again your handshake. Not to mention any smells that you carry. So we take in all this data and then we measure it against what we have learned to look for in someone who is successful, honest, and trustworthy.
There was a study done by Albert Mehrabian of UCLA several years ago that stated that communication effectiveness is 55% dependent on body language. What this tells me is that lasting impressions are formed without a word being uttered by you. So, how do you overcome this dilemma?
First, you should remember this keep it simple and keep it natural. You only have 60 seconds to make a good impression and you do not want to waste it. Secondly, you are there to make a connection. If you really want to get my attention, know something about me and connect with me on a personal level.
If you have not already, signed up for my Tele-Seminar Series, "Fear is Not an Option" you may want to do that now. there are some many more tips on this subject that I would love to share with you.
Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group
It begins with the social conditioning that stands between two people when they first meet. We are taught to not speak to strangers. We are taught that we should judge certain factors before we trust another individuals. In most cases this keeps us from being "had" however, when it comes to us stepping out of our comfort zone and doing something a bit different than we have in the past. This actually becomes a hindrance to us.
We know that people will look at us as we approach them, and they will begin a process that includes all five senses and their intuition. This collaboration of the senses and our human intention is deeply embedded in us and has been crafted by social conditioning. this is where the saying, "First impressions are the lasting ones."
Let me back up a bit and then push forward, When we first meet someone we will extend our hand in a hearty handshake. Have you ever asked yourself why we do that? Well, in African cultures a raised-palm greeting and our own American culture of a handshake has survived as evidence to show the intended that we do not have a weapon or harbor evil intent in our hearts against them. In other words, we are extending our-self to them in a friendly gesture, with hopes that our gesture is returned. This is a primitive example but think about it. If they do not accept our greeting, or in most cases our handshake. We have been rejected.
So the first impression holds a great deal in whether one is rejected or accepted. When you are approaching someone, (whether business or personal) they are watching your body language. They are looking at what you have on, they are listening to your voice tone, how you take your steps, and again your handshake. Not to mention any smells that you carry. So we take in all this data and then we measure it against what we have learned to look for in someone who is successful, honest, and trustworthy.
There was a study done by Albert Mehrabian of UCLA several years ago that stated that communication effectiveness is 55% dependent on body language. What this tells me is that lasting impressions are formed without a word being uttered by you. So, how do you overcome this dilemma?
First, you should remember this keep it simple and keep it natural. You only have 60 seconds to make a good impression and you do not want to waste it. Secondly, you are there to make a connection. If you really want to get my attention, know something about me and connect with me on a personal level.
If you have not already, signed up for my Tele-Seminar Series, "Fear is Not an Option" you may want to do that now. there are some many more tips on this subject that I would love to share with you.
Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group
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