I believe that we should find inspiration from all sources. As we
journey through this world, we need to understand that our thoughts, words and
actions create our reality. As I think about this I am reminded of why it is
important to understand how our mind functions. Over the next few days, I am
going to share some life lessons with you. Don't worry, I am always growing and
will not run out of valuable content to for. Let's call this...The War For My
Mind.
Okay so we have
best laid plans. We have planned out our life and what we will do if and when.
What happens when your plans fail? What happens when you do something that you
had not planned on doing? Do we just give up? I think not.
Here's how this
series will work, I will talk about some tough things that I have learned and I
aim to make you think about your life. More importantly I want you to think
about your thoughts, your words, your actions and finally the results from all
these. Then I want you to take action. It's a war for your mind and you have to
be fully engaged in this war or you will lose. Ready? Let's Go
Day 1:
The Problem:
I am convinced that
people don't really want to hurt each other. We don't wake
up in the morning thinking, who can I hurt today? Okay well most
people don't. Let's deal with the majority of the people. Sounds fair?
Good. So we wake up with the intention to make the day a great one
by achieving our goals and while we are at it helping our fellow
humans accomplish a goal or two also. However, somehow, during the day, a
decision is made and that decision requires an action and those actions bring about
words and by the end of the day, we are scratching our heads
wondering how that all happened.
Does this sound
familiar: "how could you say that?' "How could you do that?"
"What did I ever do to you to make you do this?" I am sure a few more
come to your mind even now. What I have learned is even with our best laid
plans, we can get side tracked and we can hurt others. Sometimes it's selfish
and intentional and sometimes it's not. We just needed someone
to listen to us, someone to love us, we were missing something in our lives and
saw an opportunity to get it.
What we focus on becomes
a major part of our thoughts. When we start to feel empty, or in need of
something, it is our human nature to seek it out. We have plans to take the
family on a vacation. We start looking into spots that we will enjoy and then
your wife forgets to make your dinner. Or your son does not take out the trash.
Your daughter wrecks the car. Your boss decides not to give you the promotion
etc... We start to focus on the changes we are experiencing. We start to feel underappreciated
even misused. Maybe more small things happen, you still try to overlook them
but you are becoming more aware of how much you would prefer to hang with your
friends than spend time with your family. The vicious cycle is in play it ends
with you having a major family brawl and the vacation gets cancelled.
Now after a time of
calming, you find out there were legit reasons certain events occurred.
This knowledge would have changed how you processed the actions of
the others. It did not make it better but it did now make sense. You feel like
a heel for jumping to conclusions but no one in your family will look you in
the eye. Even though you plan a quick get away, it nothing compared
to what it could have been.
The Solution:
1. Notice when you start
to feel a certain way. (Empty, neglected, misunderstood, etc...)
2. Express your needs
immediately
3. Listen with your
heart and not your head; hear what is not being said in the midst of what is
being said.
4. Step away from the
problem and come back when your emotions are not raw.
5. Look for the solution
that will bring peace and not just completion
6. Include all parties
in the solution.
7. Never speak out of
anger. There are ways to get your point across without using angry and hurtful
words. Remember, this is a person that you love, respect and need.
The Benefit:
When you take a moment
to understand that we can blow things out of portion when we assume what others
think or mean, then it is easier for us to hear what they have to say.
Conversing with others to get an understanding is always better than burning a
bridge. Even though the bridge can be rebuilt, it will never be the same. This
way, you preserve your relationships and you are able to stick to
your plans to push forward on purpose.
Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group
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