The War For My Mind Series Day 5

Have you ever said, "But I just can’t help it." Maybe your words are similar to, "Yeah, that might work for you but not for me, I need ..." You may even tell yourself, "I okay. I don't really need to change the way I think. It's just the way I am." Sound familiar?

The great news is no one has to settle for these excuses. Just tell yourself I get to change so my life can be transformed. I get to make new decisions starting today. Here's another tip, You don't have to settle for anything. Go for what you want. Just think about it Michael Phelps said he would win 8 golden medals in the 2008 Olympics in Beijing and as I and the rest of the world watched. He did exactly that. In spite of those that said how hard it would be to make it happen. What he would have to do and how great his opponents were. Even when Serbian-American swimmer Milorad Čavić caused a minor stir when he said it would be "good" if Phelps lost. "It'd be good for him if he loses. It would be nice if historians talk about Michael Phelps winning seven gold medals and losing the eight to 'some guy.' I'd like to be that guy." Michael Phelps did not lose sight of what his ultimate goal was. as history would have it. August 17, 2008. I sat in my living room with my mother cheering him on as he would his eighth gold medal.

Day 5

The Problem:

Most of our thinking is habitual. Thousands of thoughts flow through our minds daily. Then when we had the fact that as we come into contact with others, our minds are communicating with each other and the vibes go from thousands to tens of thousands, that is a lot of thoughts. Now add to this that there are people who are more than eager to bring gossip, bad emotions, bad news and useless information to you. Well you get the picture. 

Now, listen to this, it takes no effort to think a bad thought. However, on the other hand it takes much effort to think a good thought. As you start to resist these bad thought, understand there is a war going on for your mind. It does not get easier because you have said I am going to do this. It requires you to force this into a habit. You must be conscious of your thoughts from this point on. 

The Solution:

1. Stay Active. Don't let your thoughts happen without your knowledge

2. Have positive quotes, scriptures, sayings, movies, books, songs and most important people around you

3. Mediate on good things. Find something you love that makes you smile and when things are getting hectic begin to mediate on that.

4. Have a center. Find that one things that centers you. Use your spiritual connection to God. Understand the power that comes with understanding his will for your life and his love for you. If you are not a Christian, find something greater than you that will balance you. Let me tell you there is nothing better than God for this.

5. Remember we are eternal beings living in a temporal world. This means, the world around us will change but we are constant and connected to the source of life. Remember the seasons change, you get older, but what's important remains the same.

6. Negative thoughts do not originate with you. They have a source and if you change the source you can change the thoughts.

7. Choose to think!!!

The Benefit:

It is important to remember once you make the choice to think right, to think positive and not focus on the negative. It’s not a once in for all thought and that is it. You never have to worry about it again. It is a daily active plan to make your thoughts stay positive no matter what comes your way. The great thing about this is you will be rewarded greatly for it. Those that are near you will benefit also. 

This is just a sample of a new coaching program that I am developing. I will be offering it on my website as a complimentary 30 day course. On May 1, 2012, you will be able to get all 30-days delivered to your email box. I hope you will take the time to sign up for this thought-provoking and stimulating course. 

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

The War For My Mind Series Day 4

When I first started my business about 3 years ago, I really thought that the masses would flock to me because I had the answer to their problems. They would want to do business with me because; I was going to be the best thing next to sliced bread. Well, after struggling for two years, I begun to think, who am I kidding. With a handful of clients, fighting to get paid on time and trying to stay above the whirlpool of sinking sand called bills. I was feeling a bit defeated and overwhelmed to say the least. I questioned if I was doing what I was called to do. I questioned if I had the answers for anyone including myself. I was ready to throw in the towel and go back to corporate America with my tail between my legs and my head lowered between my shoulders. As I started updating my resume, I could hear the voices of the nay-sayers, laughing and taunting me with their, "I knew she could not do it.", "I told her so", "Who did she think she was anyway, tony Robbins? John Maxwell? Silly silly little girl." 

I began to fall into depression, I did not want to eat, I slept all day, I began to not follow up on potential clients. Things were pretty bad. My dreams were slipping away and I had no desire to fight for them. I was giving up. Then I was reminded why I was doing it, a quote by Winston Churchill simply said "Never, Never, Never Give Up." This stared at me in my face on my Facebook page. I went to find this speech to read his words and I knew I could not give up. 

Day 4:

The Problem:

People will be people. They will say whatever comes to their minds. They will support you today and turn on you tomorrow. They will flatter you on Monday, curse you on Tuesday, steal from you on Wednesday, lie to you on Thursday, smile in your face on Friday, eat your food on Saturday, and pray for you on Sunday. Then the cycle repeats. The real point is this; no one can make your dreams and aspirations come true but you. However, you have to truly understand what it is you are meant to do and why.

Many times we allow others to tell us who we are and what we are capable of accomplishing. Then there is a little tiny voice on the inside of us telling us we can do more than that but we suppress that voice and settle for less. When we realize that we are not happy we sink into a giant hole of despair. 

The Solution:

1. Never Never Never Give Up

2. Understand that your dreams do make a promise that it will be easy or come naturally to you. You will have to fight for it.

3. Nothing worth having is going to just drop into your life. Look at diamonds, you have to dig for them.

4. Be careful who you share your time, energy and dreams with. There are dream killers out there in visionary clothing. Meaning, there are those that would steal your dreams to mash them and kill them but they look like those that are there to help.

5. Remove negative energy out of your personal space. Put a flowing foundation, a moving picture or something that reminds you to keep going in your work space.

6. When you think it's slipping away, remember why you are doing it. This is helpful. Have your vision written in its entirety. Have this typed out and put into a presentation that will impress you every time you see it. This should be your dream at its completion. What it will look like, feel like, who will be there, etc... See the completed picture and write it out. EVERY WORD!

7. Don't kill your own dreams. You were created (born) for this.

The Benefit:

When you can see the finish line, it is easier to stay your course. Watch a 100 meter race. The runners keep their eye on the finish line. They don't look to the left or right. They are not distracted by the crowds yelling and cheering them on. They are focused on one thing, getting to the finish line. The same is true when you have purpose and understand why you are living YOUR life.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

The War For My Mind Series Day 3

I have learned an invaluable lesson: Whatever I focus on, is what I get no matter if I am wanting something different or not.  Now this simple lesson continues to teach me daily. Listen wherever we put our energy, our attention, our meaning for existence, that is what we get and that is what will start to develop. 

Try It: Think about your favorite ice cream flavor. If you done have a favorite ice cream flavor, you can use mine Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey. It has a base of creamy banana ice cream blended with walnuts and chunks of chocolate fudge. Just think about that ice cream. Think about it, that smooth creamy substance chilled just right sitting on a cone or in a bowl, maybe even a nice triple scoop banana split with the works. Can you see it? If you are like me you can even taste it and feel it sliding down your throat. mmm... how refreshing. Okay now let's get to business

Day 3:

The Problem:

When we focus on something, our thoughts will stir our desire and emotions, and we will make a decision to follow them. This is true whether it is good (positive) or bad (negative) thoughts, whether or not they will cause good or bad reactions in our lives. So it is true if we focus on negative thoughts and things we will become negative people. Destroying everything we come in contact with. We lose our joy and our lives become miserable and empty. Just to think it all started with our thoughts.

What really gets us stuck is; we don't always realize that the problems we are experiencing right now in our lives, we have created by our own stinking thinking. We have chosen to imprison ourselves by what we choose to think about. You may be experiencing depression, loss of appetite, lack of drive, discouragement, sadness, and wonder where did it come from, why do you feel this way? Examine your thoughts, you will find that you are feeding these emotions.

The Solution:

1. Examine your thoughts.

2. What do you read? What do you watch on TV, What movies? What do you listen to on the radio? All these sources can cause negative thoughts to develop.

3. Choose what you will think about.

4. Activate a grateful list. Write down everything you are grateful for in your life and focus on the positive. Even in bad situations there is something to be grateful for.

5. Each day tell the people you love the most why you love them without saying the same thing you have already said.

6. Look for the silver lining in all situations

7. Don't let anyone bring negative gossip, conversation, or bad emotions around you.

The Benefit:

When you learn to focus on the positive, you will start to see more of the positive happening in your life. You will begin to realize that life is worth living and your dreams can be achieved. If you catch yourself slipping... Laugh at yourself and start again. Tell the truth, you are still thinking about that ice cream, huh? I know, I think I will go get a scope now. :) Happy thoughts.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

The War For Your Mind Series Day 2

Many of us deal with our own misconceptions of what is reality for us. We find ourselves believing lies we tell ourselves based on assumptions we have made about others. Now this is interesting because we are the same ones championing the statement, "That's why you should never assume things" or "You know what they say about assumptions"

Recently, I had a client that came to me with a need to be free of negative thoughts. They were experiencing depression and wanted to be free. The whole first month of coaching were riding them of the assumptions that were made about life, God, their family, friends and co-workers.

Day 2:

The Problem:

Many of us, if we are honest with ourselves, have thousands of assumptions running through our heads daily. We think we are not loved by family and friends, we believe that things are done intentional especially when they hurt us, we try to figure others out before they get the upper hand on us and the list goes on and on. We are a suspicious breed. We are suspicious of others and they are suspicious of us. Here's the deal, if we can convince ourselves that we are worthless, useless, and can’t do anything right it does not take a rocket scientist to know that we will never accomplish what we are trying to accomplish.

If we spend our time fighting against our creative nature, not accepting our flaws as well as our strong points, we have defeated ourselves and there is no one else to blame for that. There are other elements that get in our way too. When it comes to the way we think. We can let outside influences nibble away at our resolve. For example: Our parents always said, you will never amount to anything, or maybe someone said you were stupid, you did not have what it takes...etc. 

We allow our thoughts to build fortresses in our mind. We start to build our lives on these fortresses and they become our core values. They become what we believe more than anything else. This is why many of us will not go after our dreams, or take a risk that may cause our lives to develop in a different way.  We allow our thoughts to form our words and our words shape our actions. Our actions then rule our lives. We are in a vicious circle. No wonder we can achieve the things we keep telling ourselves we want. The things that we long for, wish for and truly desire. We have shut down our ability to create anything but what we believe we can have. Unfortunately for us, what we believe we can have is absolutely NOTHING!

The Solution:

1. Stop lying to yourself. Realize that you are not seeing things clearly

2. Make a decision today that you will only believe the truth.

3. Find out the truth of the matter. Get in connection with people that are determined to accomplish their goals and thus will inspire you to do the same.

4. Write out everything. When you see yourself writing lies. BURN them. This action will start to cause the lies to do them same in your mind. (Figuratively) When you tell yourself a lie that lie will go up in smoke just like the ones that you burned. 

5. Replace the lies with the truth. Let the truth come from everywhere, do not limit how the truth comes to you. 

6. Remember yourself often of YOUR truth.

7. Whenever you feel like you may speak a lie, make sure tell the truth instead.

The Benefit:

One of my favorite books is The Bible. In The Bible there is a scripture that speak volumes in this area. Romans 12:1-2. In short what it says is that you cannot be conformed by the way the world thinks but you have to be transformed by the renewing of your mind. This transformation will cause you to understand the plan for your life. Knowing this plan is your reasonable service. The whole point is simply this; once you can conqueror what you think you can conquer what you can do.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

The War For My Mind Series Day 1

I believe that we should find inspiration from all sources. As we journey through this world, we need to understand that our thoughts, words and actions create our reality. As I think about this I am reminded of why it is important to understand how our mind functions. Over the next few days, I am going to share some life lessons with you. Don't worry, I am always growing and will not run out of valuable content to for. Let's call this...The War For My Mind.

Okay so we have best laid plans. We have planned out our life and what we will do if and when. What happens when your plans fail? What happens when you do something that you had not planned on doing? Do we just give up? I think not.

Here's how this series will work, I will talk about some tough things that I have learned and I aim to make you think about your life. More importantly I want you to think about your thoughts, your words, your actions and finally the results from all these. Then I want you to take action. It's a war for your mind and you have to be fully engaged in this war or you will lose. Ready? Let's Go

Day 1:

The Problem:

I am convinced that people don't really want to hurt each other. We don't wake up in the morning thinking, who can I hurt today? Okay well most people don't. Let's deal with the majority of the people. Sounds fair? Good. So we wake up with the intention to make the day a great one by achieving our goals and while we are at it helping our fellow humans accomplish a goal or two also. However, somehow, during the day, a decision is made and that decision requires an action and those actions bring about words and by the end of the day, we are scratching our heads wondering how that all happened.

Does this sound familiar: "how could you say that?' "How could you do that?" "What did I ever do to you to make you do this?" I am sure a few more come to your mind even now. What I have learned is even with our best laid plans, we can get side tracked and we can hurt others. Sometimes it's selfish and intentional and sometimes it's not.  We just needed someone to listen to us, someone to love us, we were missing something in our lives and saw an opportunity to get it.

What we focus on becomes a major part of our thoughts. When we start to feel empty, or in need of something, it is our human nature to seek it out. We have plans to take the family on a vacation. We start looking into spots that we will enjoy and then your wife forgets to make your dinner. Or your son does not take out the trash. Your daughter wrecks the car. Your boss decides not to give you the promotion etc... We start to focus on the changes we are experiencing. We start to feel underappreciated even misused. Maybe more small things happen, you still try to overlook them but you are becoming more aware of how much you would prefer to hang with your friends than spend time with your family. The vicious cycle is in play it ends with you having a major family brawl and the vacation gets cancelled.

Now after a time of calming, you find out there were legit reasons certain events occurred. This knowledge would have changed how you processed the actions of the others. It did not make it better but it did now make sense. You feel like a heel for jumping to conclusions but no one in your family will look you in the eye. Even though you plan a quick get away, it nothing compared to what it could have been.

The Solution:

1. Notice when you start to feel a certain way. (Empty, neglected, misunderstood, etc...)

2. Express your needs immediately

3. Listen with your heart and not your head; hear what is not being said in the midst of what is being said.

4. Step away from the problem and come back when your emotions are not raw.

5. Look for the solution that will bring peace and not just completion

6. Include all parties in the solution.

7. Never speak out of anger. There are ways to get your point across without using angry and hurtful words. Remember, this is a person that you love, respect and need.

The Benefit:

When you take a moment to understand that we can blow things out of portion when we assume what others think or mean, then it is easier for us to hear what they have to say. Conversing with others to get an understanding is always better than burning a bridge. Even though the bridge can be rebuilt, it will never be the same. This way, you preserve your relationships and you are able to stick to your plans to push forward on purpose.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

How Do You Spell Relief?

How do you spell relief? Well in the 1970's there was a commercial that was famous. How do you spell relief? R-O-L-A-I-D-S. I can still hear it running in my head, I even believe a few times in school I might have even spelled relief as a spelling word as ROLAIDS. LOL. Well, Now that I have grown up I no longer  spell relief as Rolaids. But I still need to experience relief for the many symptons of stress in my life. So How do you spell relief?


We all experience stress in one form of the other. Our muscles tense, our faces become hard and stern, our bodies get worn out and our minds unravel and fray. What is Stress? Merriam-Webster defines it as a constraining force or influence as a physical, chemical or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension and can lead to the development of specific disease conditions. To put it mildly constant exposure to high levels of stress can be extremely toxic to your system. Being constantly stressed can cause you to be temperamental, ineffective in your work, business and relationships, and not to mention, just plain miserable with your life. So I have research a way to deal with stress and want to share it with you. I came across an acronym and started applying to it my life but I have added another piece part because I believe it enhances the results. 


First you must learn to release. You cannot go to the next level holding on to the things that make you stress. Though the common perception of people towards stress is negative, stress is not totally a negative emotion. In fact, stress is our body's normal response to occurences that are frightening or alarming. You have heard of the Fight or Flight theory? therefore the positive stress can enhance your mental capabilities and increase your alertness to soutions, and other levels of achievement.  So simply release and smile. It will be okay.


Once you have released on the obstacles and distractions of life... follow this:


R-ecognize: You must acknowledge that you re stressed. As I like to say you are a bit tightly wound and you are about to BLOW! Just taking a deep breath will not relieve this stress. You must recognize it it there and then recognize that it needs to be dealt with.


E-xercise: This is a good form to physically diverting your thoughts and attentions to other activity or causing them to take a back burner for a spell. More importantly exercise is a great way to relieve some of the tension and negative vibes that come from stress. You can imagine you are working out the problem as you exercise and with every blow, crunch, sit up etc... the problem is becoming smaller and smaller. 


L-etting Go: Now this is something more than releasing it. It is actually not sweating the small things in life or allowing the big things to cause you worry and fret. Once you release stop and take that deep breath and recognize  that you are stressed, you might have taken a brisk walk to clear your mind, but if you still try to work it out according to your plans or try to control something that will not be controlled. You have not let go. Letting Go is simply, understand what is in and out of your control and accepting it as such. What you can control place in one area. What you can not control place in another setting. Keeping them separated will help you keep stress lower in your life. So when looking at your problems, ask yourself this: Will this matter ten years from now? if the answer is yes... then what can you do about it today? If the answer is no. It's not worth the time you have already given it.


A-ttitude: How you go through life is what life will continue to bring you. In other words if you are negative all the time... then negative things will continue to occur. If you are positive... the the reverse is true. So take a look at your thoughts...what are you thinking and then you will know why you are experiencing negative or positive situations all the time. IF you are more negative than positive...choose to frame your thoughts in a more positive way.


X-tra Sleep (Extra Sleep): Well this is a simple and straight to the point tip. If you are not getting enough sleep, your body will function on the negative side of things. You will be more irritable, irrational, tired and slow to process strategies to avoid obstacles in your life. When your body is telling you it's needs rest, then you need to give it what it is asking for. Your body and your mind need to rest. So don't rest but continue to let your mind work on your problems. Shut down completely and reboot. You will find that you are more alert and can handle more obstacles quickly when you are well rested. Sometimes when I am too stressed I just go to bed and take a nap or go to bed earlier than normal and in the morning or after the nap I am refreshed and new ideas and solutions flow through me.

So, how do you spell relief?


Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

It's A War For My Righteous Mind

I don’t know if you remember the song by Elvis Presley called “Suspicious minds.” Well the chorus simply says, “We can’t go on together with suspicious minds. And we can’t build our dreams on suspicious minds.” So what does that have to do with war for your righteous mind…Everything. Even though he was talking about a love gone bad, many of us are trapped in our own snares. We tell ourselves that we can’t do things, that our dreams are impossible, no one has ever done it before, Who do we think we are to even attempt such a feat. I believe that is what a suspicious mind looks like. It puts ideas and thoughts into play that slowly but deliberately eat away at the hope we have of accomplishing our dreams.

We find ourselves not trusting even our own actions, suspicious minds. Can you see the war forming even in your own life? What lies are you telling yourself? What deceit are you forcing your heart to believe? It’s time you understand. More than a battle is going on in your mind. It’s all out war. There are two sides, positive and negative. Let me let you in on a secret, the negative side is winning. Why is that? We have given the negative more ammunition than the positive side. Once in a while we will win a battle against a negative thought only to fall prey to its evil scheme all over again.

Is there any help? Absolutely. The bible says that we are to be transformed by the renewing of our mind (Romans 12:2). This means that if we allow things to go on as they are, there is no way we can achieve our goals and aspirations. We have allowed our thoughts to be taken captive. They are prisoners of war and our dreams are killed in action. It is time we step up and take responsibility for our thoughts and change how we see our current situations.

Renewing our mind is a daily action that we must take. When we see ourselves falling prey to negative thoughts, we must remember “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13) More importantly we must live by the scripture that says, “As a man thinketh in his heart so is he.” (Proverbs 23:7). How do you get your righteous mind? You have to renew your mind daily so your life can be transformed and your destiny realized. Use your mind, free your dreams.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

What Were You Thinking?

Our thoughts matter so much. I means jut think about it any thing that is going to happen is first a thought in our mind. the thought really does count because what you think determines what you become. Your actions are based on your thoughts. So what is the really deal behind what you are thinking?

Most of us tend to be held captive by toxic and damaging thoughts. Rather than focusing our thoughts on positive situations and good vibes, we dig out the wrong, negative and disabling thoughts. We must understand that dangers of toxic thoughts and how you can replace them with the truth of the matter.

The truth is not hard to find but it isn't easy to apply. The reason being we are more readily able to accept the toxic thoughts than the positive. To battle against your toxic thoughts, you must identify and reject them. You have to remember this the battle against your toxic thoughts is not physical. It's spiritual and emotional.

today think about what are some of the toxic thoughts in your life. Write them down and then write a new thought that is positive to combat it.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Let's Just Face It, There Are Certain Things You Can't Change

Many people have a misconception about prayer, they think if I pray about it I will get what I ask for. Which to some extent that is true, however, let me ask you this, what happens when you pray and it does not happen the way you prayed it would. Well, let's explore this... I know, I know stay with me even if you are not a christian you will understand this, trust me.

Prayer is the contemplation of the truths of God from a higher standpoint. Prayer is not a monologue but a dialogue between you and the source of all knowledge. Prayer transforms situations, circumstances, and the one who prays. Whether you call it prayer or not. It is important to understand that we become that which we focus on, Yes even in prayer. Prayer goes hand in hand with mediation. Mediating on harmony, beauty, love, peace, and goodwill will open up a world of possibilities to you that will melt away all strife and heaviness.

When you ask a question about life, a situation, or wonder why something is occurring, you are praying. The important thing to remember is to wait for the answer to come. It will come. Many times the answer to our problems are not what we think is best but actually what is best for our situation, now and in the future. It is important to understand this, the answer will not only change your now but it will set you in a place to receive what is to come.

Prayer is not used to change others, but it is used to give you a higher sense of purpose. To allow you to see things from the bigger picture. It gives you a sense of unity with those around you and all living creatures. As a christian, I believe that prayer aligns you with the perfect will for your life through the knowledge that can only can come from God. Whether you call the source of life God or something else, prayer is your connection to it. So let me stress here, you cant pray enough in your journey of finding your destiny.

Listen, many times we want to change others,we want to have it sunny instead of rain, we want the rotation of the earth to reverse, okay maybe not but you understand we want to grow a few more inches after adult hood or want our hair, eyes or genes structure to change. Some people get into thinking if I think it hard enough it will be so. There are just some things we cant change. Prayer aligns you with what can be changed and helps you accept what cannot. In your journey, this is needful for your success to be a joy and not a weight.

When you pray, make sure you are open to what the answer will be. If you are praying for health or healing, death just might be the answer, it does not mean your prayer was not answered, it just means the perfect answer was death. If you are praying for success but you seem to be bombarded with issue after issue, work through them the lessons there will make sure your success is there always. Remember the answer to a question provided by infinite knowledge is not going to always seem logical to us but it will be the best answer and we will be transformed to a higher awareness because of it. So pray often, and let the best answer come to you by Divine guidance.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group