How Come Or Why?

“What does not take me out, makes me stronger.”

Many of us say this phrase after we have come out of a trial or hardship. We tend to get a sense of empowerment from this statement. The real question here is do we truly believe this statement. Is this just one of those statement that sounds good after a period of stressful situations. What if you are still in the midst of your dilemma, can you say this phrase? Can you claim the triumph even then? Do you ask “Why” me, why did I have to suffer? Do you harbor bitterness and unforgiveness?

You see many of us are so preoccupied with the “WHY” something happen that we may never get to the “HOW COME”. With that said, the question becomes, “How come this occurred and what am I suppose to learn? Exploring this can be daunting, so here are a few tips.

You need to ask yourself what is my pain. A doctor prescribes medication because of the symptoms the patient says they are experiencing. More simply put, when you go to the doctor with a pain in your stomach, you describe it to the doctor and he does an examination. With the information you have given him and what he finds through his examination, he then prescribes a medication regiment that will allow healing to occur. Now, it is understandable that the medication itself does not heal the body but what it does do is cause the pain to subside. In the absence of your discomfort, your body can then heal itself. What a concept, the medical profession has taught us to get rid of the pain so the process of healing can happen. If you ask yourself this question, do not use other words like what is the problem or who is my problem. Stay focused on you. Moving from what is my pain to what is the problem, you are minimizing your discomfort. It is like taking an Advil for a toothache. You may feel okay for a while but eventually the pain is going to come back because you have not dealt with the real issue and no healing is occurring.

Knowing what your pain is will lead to, “Why am I stuck?” Many will try to brush past this. If you have ever had an open wound, you know that it must heal from the inside out. This process can take a while and if you are not careful, the skin will begin to close on the surface but the wound is not total healed underneath. When this occurs, you have to reopen the wound to allow the healing to take place correctly. The same is true for inner healing. You must allow the inside to be healed before it will show on the surface. No facades that will hide the festering boil underneath. Being stuck in a rut and not understanding why things happened, can only lead to repetitious behaviors. These behaviors will keep you living in misery and regret, making one bad decision after another because you have not learned how to avoid it.

This is when you have to define the how come. The “how come” is logical reasoning. The “how come” will bring the change in your behavior you have been looking for. It will help you learn the lesson life was teaching you. For instance, maybe you were in that bad situation because you needed to learn self worth. The “how come” only comes with clarity of vision and after you probe deep inside yourself.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2010 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Coaching

A Woman Healed of Life's Experiences

The one thing we need but many of us struggle to get is respect. In life, we will go through some hard times and if we are lucky, we will be able to come out on the winning side. However, what about the one that are caught in the cracks. Is there hope for the woman whose been abused (emotionally, mentally, physically or socially)? Who is there to let that woman know there is hope in her hopeless situation?


We hear so much about sisterhood yet we are set apart. We gossip about one another, steal each other's men and if we get the chance, we will ruin another reputation so we look good. Now does this sound like sisterhood?

There is a story about a woman, who as a teenager suffered being molested, verbally abused and lived in a house of raging with domestic violence. This woman grew up with anger issues and never tried to deal with them. She had relationship after relationship fail. One day she came to the realization that the life she was living was just a shadow of what could be. She did not have to live with the pain, frustration and depression. She could rise above it. She could be free. However, she knew that wit would take some restoration of her inner emotions. She would have to learn how to look at life differently, not using her own reasoning because it was skewed and fragile.

She sought help from counselors and coaches that help her see past the hurt, habits and hang-ups. She was able to start a relationship on a healthy note and those negative friends – well she was able to influence them to be more positive. This did not happen over night it only started with a single step.

The first step can be the hardest however, if you are truly ready for healing to occur in your life then you will allow this step to take place, including removing all negative and unhealthy influences in your life. Many times, it is what we allow in our lives that hinder us the most. The woman mentioned above had to deal with the past in order to maintain her present and secure her future.

We learned in history that if we do not learn from history it is bound to repeat itself. Well, this is true even in our lives. If we are not willing to learn from bad decisions, our fears, our failure and, even more importantly, our successes then we are bound to repeat them. Dr. Susan Jeffers says, “Life is not a struggle but an opportunity”. Additionally, you only get a single opportunity to make it count. Do not live with regret and remorse. Not to make light of the experiences you have been through, Nevertheless, if she can learn to let go of the pain and anger, then why not you?

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2009 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Coaching

Only Those That Can See The Invisible...

"Only those that can see the invisible, can achieve the impossible."

What exactly does this mean. Well, let's talk about your goals:

• Where are you headed? 
• What things are you trying to accomplish? 
• Are you settling or sacrificing?

Your answer to these questions will determine if you are seeing the invisible or making excuses because of the visible.

Many people want to be significant in their communities and relationships but they are not willing to put in the effort. Thus letting what they DO see hinder what could be. Now listen, I am not talking about "make-believe", or "faking it 'til you make it" stuff. I am talking about creating energy that will allow you to produce real success. This is the real raw deal. If you want to be something in your life then you have to let go of excessive baggage. You know that stuff you been carrying from your childhood, the love/hate relationships with parents, friends and other family members. The unforgiveness of those that hurt you, the self pity, self loathing, and EXCUSES.

Say this with me..."I am my worst enemy". You cant blame your failure or successes on any one but you. Either you did what you were suppose to do and succeeded or you didn't do what you were suppose to do and failed. The common denominator is YOU. So how do you get pass this? I am so glad that you asked that question. Here's how:

1. Stop making excuses and deal with the issues.
2. Have someone that you know will be brutally honest paint a word picture of you.
3. Once completed, pull out the things that need to be changed.
4. Follow someone that has the success you want to achieve or has a similar dream.
5. Start to eliminate toxic relationships and habits.

Start there and watch how much clarity comes to you. Remember only those that can see the invisible, can achieve the impossible. By the way, it is only impossible because no one else has done it. Therefore, get out there and do something.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2009 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Coaching

What Would You Do If You Could Not Fail?

People are always stating that if they had this or that they would be better, have a better life or be further along in their journey. What I have found is that people just want to have things handed to them. They are not willing to fight for what they feel they deserve. However, we all have heard there is no such thing as a free lunch.

Think about it, even free items from companies...most time you have to pay for shipping and handling. What about the risk free offers, you pay for them up front and if you are for some reason not satisfied then you can get your money back. Even then, you have to ask for it back. Let's face it everything requires you to do something; which brings me back to the question, "What would you do if you knew that you could not fail?"

Don't just answer. Think about it. Think about your life (emotional, mentally, physically, socially, professionally, spiritually and financially). Each area has its own list of demands and needs, right. Each area makes up who you are (good or bad). So, what are your priorities? What do you feel; can make you complete and satisfied?

Nothing is easy in this world, some things are easier than others, but the real deal is how much are you willing to believe in you and your success? Here's the rub...

This question is a true statement, Why?

Well I am glad you asked, if you are going after your purpose with all your heart, soul, mind, body and strength..."failure is not an option". Now what are you willing to do?

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2009 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Coaching

A New Beginning

Have you ever wanted just to start fresh? Just start over? Get a do over?  

I am looking to RAISE UP *SEVEN* men and women - FREE OF CHARGE FOR 90 DAYS - to succeed beyond their wildest dreams. And I'm not just looking for anyone!

I am looking for fiercely committed, driven and ambitious people who aren't going to let excuses stop them! Does that sound like you?

I am looking for people who are on their way, but just need some love, support, guidance and coaching to get to the NEXT LEVEL!

I am seeking to create success stories that are off the charts!

I am willing to PUSH you towards victory!

How would you like to be my next success story? I want to co-create POWERFUL RESULTS in the LIVES of *SEVEN* people!

Here is what I am looking for...

Individuals who are...

• Ready to STEP UP and ditch your lame excuses
• Looking to transform your life FAST
• Willing to do WHATEVER it takes (with integrity, of course!)
• Eager to make tons of money doing what you LOVE
• Ready for a MASSIVE financial explosion
• Desiring a healthier and more attractive APPEARANCE
• Willing to heal relationships by becoming a better YOU
• Willing to dedicate time to create a HEALTHY lifestyle
• Done fooling around with a poverty mentality
• At the point where failure is *NOT* an option anymore
• Deadly serious about OUTRAGEOUS GROWTH in your business
• Committed to making things happen - IMMEDIATELY
• Willing to give it *ALL* you've got!
• At the point where enough is enough!
• Wanting a QUICK way to heal a broken heart and move on
• Sick of living way below YOUR POTENTIAL
• Ready to get down to business and become HIGHLY PROFITABLE
• Yearning for healthy relationships with ALL of your family members

Would you like to be one of the six?  Then this is what YOU need to do to be considered:

First, You must be a follower of this blog (Your Empowerment Coach). Well, come on, If you don't follow who will? Well many will but this will allow you to help others while you help yourself.

Secondly,

• Make a 3-minute-or-less video of yourself, telling me your top 3 priorities for what you want to improve in your life.  Then post your short video to YouTube.com, and tag it "90-Day Coaching Contest" so I can find it.
• Send me a short email making the case for your coaching. What will coaching help you achieve?  Why? Do this in 500 words or less. Email it to coachlindahillman@live.com. Include your contact information, which will not be published, but is needed so we can reach you. Indicate your permission for your video and essay to be used in whole or in part on Your Success Coach blog. Entries without contact information or permission EXPRESSLY indicated will not be considered for the contest.
• Finally: Tell your friends and colleagues about this opportunity--even if you don't want to participate, you may have colleagues or friends who'd benefit from this type of coaching. (And yes, while I coach both men and women.) Don't miss this chance to try! Leave your questions in the comments and I'll do my best to answer them.

So recap...
If you are committed to living the best life possible and you are looking for someone that can help you shake your world and make some necessary moves then this contest is for you. Remember no commitment plus no effort equals no results. So make the commitment today. If it came to you without a fight you would not want it right? So Fight for your right to succeed.

*Please note: I am not looking for the highest-quality video or best edited video. Although, putting effort into your video shows your level of commitment, it really isn't necessary for you to win. Just put it this way, I am looking for people who are commitment and determined to make a change in their lives, conveying that message is what is important to me. I am simply looking for someone who wants results - weight loss, healed relationships, increased income, business success, etc. Don't worry about competing with others, just compete with yourself and do your best! Talk directly to me. Let ME know YOU want this.

Minor Rules: 
You must be 18 years of age or older
Able to contact via phone and internet
Also, be willing to have virtual sessions on IMVU for group sessions
IMVU is a free 3-D chat program.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2009 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Coaching