Friday, July 20, 2012

Be Thankful

Be Thankful
Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don’t know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.
Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you’re tired and weary
Because it means you’ve made a difference.
It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.
GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.
~ Author Unknown ~

Friday, July 13, 2012

Emotional Intelligence

Researchers originated this idea of Emotional Intelligence as the missing link in terms of success and effectiveness in life. It didn't seem to make sense why people with high IQs and superior reasoning, verbal, and math skills could still struggle in social and professional situations.
If you have a high EIQ, you likely regulate your emotions well; handle uncertainties and difficulties without excessive panic, stress, and fear; and avoid overreacting to situations before knowing the full details.
If you have a low EIQ, you might be oversensitive to other people’s feelings in response to you; obsess about problems until you find a concrete solution; and frequently feel a tsunami of emotions that you can’t attribute to a specific life event. Or in other words, you may feel bad far more often than you feel good.
Some Steps to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence:
1. Understand what emotional intelligence looks like.
Psychologist Daniel Goleman identified five elements to EI: self awareness, self regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. This means you understand what’s going on in your head and heart; you don’t make hasty decisions on impulse; you can motivate yourself to delay gratification; you listen to, understand, and relate to other people well; and you’re able to focus on other people.
You can read more about these ideas in Goleman’s book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More than IQ.
2. Use meditation to regulate emotions.
I am exploring emotional intelligence and have listed a few meditation tips to help with EI. It’s infinitely easier to deal with emotions as they arise if you’ve already done a little work to create a calm inner space.
3. Take an honest look at your reactions.
Do you frequently jump to conclusions without knowing all the facts? Do you need other people’s approval to feel comfortable in your own skin? Do you assume you know what other people feel and take responsibility for that? Do you freak out over stressful situations, blaming other people, getting hard on yourself, and panicking over possible consequences?
4. Practice observing your feelings and taking responsibility for them.
It’s not always easy to understand a feeling when it happens, especially if you think youshouldn’t feel it; but forget about should. Instead, try to pinpoint exactly what you feel—scared, frustrated, worried, ashamed, agitated, angry—and then pinpoint what might be the cause.Reserve all judgment.
Simply find the cause and effect, i.e.: your employer seemed unhappy with your work, so now you feel stressed, or your significant other expressed dissatisfaction, so now you feel scared. Anytime you feel something uncomfortable that you’d rather avoid, put a magnifying glass on it.
Once you know what you feel, you can now challenge both the cause and the effect.
You can ask yourself whether or not you’re overreacting to the event or worrying to find a sense of control. And then you can accept that there is an alternative—you can choose to interpret the situation a different way, soothe yourself, and then feel something different. No one else causes our feelings. Only we can choose and change them.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Featured Guest - Jaime Fleming Dixon How to Change Your Mindset

1. Tell us about you.

I am an entrepreneur (owner of Mocha Writer, LLC), founder of For Colored Gurls, a personal development blog that inspires and empowers women to live their most Fabulous lives. I'm also an author, Fab Life strategist and someone who loves life and lives on purpose.

2. How did you come up with the title for your book?

The motto of For Colored Gurls is “live your most Fabulous life,” and while the blog provides articles on different topics to help women do that, I thought, 'Why not show people, step by step, how they can actually start creating their most Fabulous lives?' After I thought about it more, I realized that before you can start living your most fabulous life, you first have to create a positive mindset. So, that's when I put the two concepts together for the title.

3. Who will benefit from reading your book?

While the book mainly targets women who are in transition or who need a positive change in their lives, I definitely think that anyone who wants to change their lives for the better can benefit from it.

4. What is the one thing people should walk away with having read your book?

They should walk away with practical and simple steps that will help them create the more positive mindset that will enable them to live the lives they desire.

5. What is one thing you would like to say to our readers today?

You absolutely can have the life you desire. If you believe in yourself and God, anything is possible!

Monday, July 9, 2012

Realizing Your Ability to Win

When you are truly ready to experience your dreams and the success that is attributed to it, you must realize that you can win.  How does one realize that they were placed in this life to win? It's not that hard and there are several ways to do so. According to Terry Louise Truvillion of Truvillion Communications, Inc., there are seven principles you can to realize your ability to win:

1. Know Who You Are And Whose You Are.
2. Stay Healthy, Alert, and Always Sober.
3. Make A Plan, Then Follow It.
4. Believe Anything Is Possible If You Prepare.
5. Only Fight Battles You Can Win.
6. Be A Risk Taker.
7. God Hears You Best When You Are On Your Knees.

Once you realize that winning is possible and you follow the above principles, you will see that a clear path to success is formed. Remember that success comes to those that are ready for it and have a winning attitude.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Friday, July 6, 2012

The Power of People Skills

Many of us, believe the old adage; "It's not what you know but who you know" however more than that, as Narshad L. Warfield states in Unleash The Winner Within You, "it's not what you know, or who you know but who wants to know you!"

It is important to remember that relationships around and the unassuming person standing next to you might be your ticket to the next level in your dream. they may be the very key.We sometimes miss out because we don't know them or they don't seem to be influential. There are people that I know that have spoken more wisdom in my life than those of  "importance". Now I am not saying that you should not cherish those who have arrived and experience success in their areas of expertise. What I am saying is this, don't discount anyone.You may never know if the person you are snubbing your nose at is the on person that will affect radical change in your life.

In the Bible it talks about entertaining strangers because you never know if one is an angel. What I know about angels is there to work for you or against you. I am sure it's would be based on how you treat them. I am not a trusting person, however, I am learning to use discernment when it comes to people. Some may seem useless to you but in actuality they are very needed. Some may talk a good game and have no use to you at all. Nonetheless no one should be discarded and pushed aside.

Developing people skills is important. Learn how to say thank you, please and take the time to truly hear what is being said in conversation. Here is a few other tips from Narshad Warfield:

1. Greet People with a warm smile and firm handshake
2. Introduce yourself and ask people their name.
3. Ask where they are from.
4. Ask about their family.
5. Ask about their pets.
6. Ask about their profession.
7. Ask where they have been
8. Ask about their hobbies/interests.
9. Ask people what they think.

I remember another old adage; treat people the way you want to be treated. If you feel that people overlook your potential, is it because you have overlooked someone else? Just a thought. Go out and make new friends and build genuine relationships. Remember you don't become successful by yourself. It's a group effort. Smile!

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Thursday, July 5, 2012

The Beginning Steps Of A Life Long Journey

We must take PRIDE in all that we do. Many of us look at pride as a bad thing and we never truly understand the good side of the word. Today I want to share how Pride should be used in getting your way to the top and how you should not be afraid to exhibit PRIDE in all that you do.

P - Perseverance
R - Remember
I - Inspiration
D - Determination
E- Expression

Every journey begins with one step. You must have a dream, however, once you dream that dream and you start to allow yourself to live it, you must incorporate pride to get you from point a to point b. No don't become full of yourself and unbearable like most do when they exhibit pride. However, do let your best  Persevere, Remember, Inspire, Determine and Express are the words you should remember at all times. Your dream and life long journey is worth the very best. Now go out and show your PRIDE!

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Featured Guest - Paulette Harper-Johnson Completely Whole

1. Tell us about you.

Paulette Harper Johnson, an award winning author, writing coach, and speaker, seeks to inspire women from all walks of life. As an inspirational and motivational speaker, Paulette’s desire is to empower, influence and cultivate women to move forward while dealing with issues that hinder women from becoming all they are created to be. Her topics are biblically sound and pertinent to the needs of today’s women.

Paulette is a wife, mother, grandmother, Bible teacher, radio host, writer and the owner of WNL Virtual Blog Tours. Her years of marketing her own self-published books have created a special talent in her—her ability to sell a product well. Not only does she specialize in marketing strategies, but also serves as the publicist for P.F.L. Publishing.

She has been mentoring and teaching women for years though seminars, workshops and conferences. Paulette Harper Johnson serves in ministry as an Elder with her husband Sr. Pastor Tony E. Johnson at Word of Faith Worship Center in Bradenton and North Port FL.

Ministry Book website:

2. How did you come up with the title for your book?
Actually, in the middle of completing my first book, this book came to mind. I had gone through a bad ordeal, which left me broken and scared. In order for me to write about becoming whole, I had to experience it myself. There were areas in my own life that I needed to confront and deal with. Those areas that hindered me from moving forward needed to be addressed. Once God began to point out those areas and I accepted where I was spiritually, the healing and restoration began. The process of becoming Completely Whole is continual for any believer desiring to live, walk, and pursue a life on purpose.
3. Who will benefit from reading your book?
Completely Whole is designed for anyone who is trying to find solutions to how they can live a life of wholeness and on purpose. I teach readers how to examine life experiences based on the choices they made. I explain and share how walking completely whole is not only possible but it is the will of God.

4. What is the one thing people should walk away with having read your book?
My focus in writing is to enrich the lives of my readers. I had a reader make this comment about Completely Whole “It speaks” and that’s what I want it to do. I want them to come away knowing that they have the ability to live a full enriched life.

I want to make several impacts on readers: First I write non-fiction inspirational books so this means my books should have a lasting effect on a person’s spirit. Inspiring and encouraging them to pursue with passion a better fulfilled life. I want my writings to give strength, encouragement in the time of need. As they read Completely Whole, I want my writings to engage, stimulate and edify them spiritually.

5. What is one thing you would like to say to our readers today?

 There are many distractions that will continue to pull for our attention be it, home, ministry, family and/or job. For those aspiring authors there must be balance in your life, so you can prioritize those things that are important. It’s very important to follow your passion and don’t allow other things to take you off course.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Moving Beyond the Dream

The one thing that I have grown to understand in this life is you must have a "why". Without the understanding of your "why" it is impossible to get to the "How". Your dream is a vision. You have to see the end result before you can see the manifestation of it. Your "why" is what keeps you going when things seem to be too difficult.

Your dream is your purpose. It's just that simple. My motto for my business and my life is see the invisible, achieve the impossible. Until you are able to move beyond your dream and start to see things happen. I was reading Unleash the Winner Within You and one of the chapters was written by Cyrenius Forh Jr entitled Moving Beyond Your Dream, I wanted to share some of his tips with you.

In order for you to move pass the dreaming stage, you must:

Write It Down
I agree with this because until you write it down you cannot begin to truly see it. I would say write in down in vivid color. This will help you start to see, feel, touch, taste and smell your success. You will understand the path you will take to make it happen.

Speak Life Into Your Dreams
Many of us never truly realize the dreams that we have because of the simple fact that if we write it down, we allow ourselves and others to speak death. We doubt our ability to get the job done and when things are not going well, we can be talked  off the ledge. Meaning we simple can be talked out of our dreams. Recently I saw the movie, Man on the Ledge and it helped me to realize that if you believe in something yu must be willing to get on the ledge and take your stand. It does not matter who thinks it's impossible and that you are crazy. It matters what you believe.

You Must R.E.A.D.
In Cy's chapter he talks about Research, Engage, Ask, Devote. It is important that you know your stuff, I mean truly think about it who wants to be in business with someone who is making  an educated guess based on assumptions. Take the risk because you have done the research and know your topic inside and out. there should not be any question that you cant answer about what you are trying to accomplish and I would add this you should be able to quote the failures as well s the success quicker than anyone else. When you can talk about it with he best of them, you will find that their doubts are released. Be engaged in all aspects of your business/education/personal development. Whatever your dream you should know about events that will help you achieve it, people that are doing already and be enthusiastic about all outcomes. Ask questions often. Understanding your dream and applying knowledge is crucial to moving your dream forward and getting beyond just the dream stage. Finally, Devote all your discipline and continuous growth to your dream and it's fulfillment. Remember Les Brown said, "In order to become something you have never been, you have to  do things you have never done."

Have a G.O. Plan
GO stands for Get Organized. You must have a plan to get organized and move forward. this may mean that you have to look at relationships, hobbies, books you read, TV shows you watch, etc  to make sure that you are not allowing thoughts and attitudes that are contrary to where you are trying to go in your life but you must also put things in it's proper place. Time management is key in your GO plan.

When it is all said and done you must be ready to move beyond your dreaming stage and put action to it. It's time to live the life that you have dreamed of. It's up to you.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Friday, June 29, 2012

How to Activate Your Dreams Part 2

Recently I read a book called "Unleash The Winner Within You" and it has inspired my next few blogs. Each chapter of this book talks about things you can do to unleash your potential to achieve yur dreams. The first chapter was Activate Your Dreams by Susan Stark Gallucci.

Yesterday I wrote some of my notes that motivated me. Here's the steps mentioned in the book that will allow you to Activate Your Dreams. The following steps:

  • Pounce Now - Do something now dont wait
  • Dream Check - I like to it called it vision check
  • Step Persistently - Keep it moving in other words
  • Conquer and Continue - There will be things that you will need to overcome they do not stop you, it's just past of the process.
  • Celebrate and Rejuvenate - Do your victory dance after all accomplishments (big or small) take a moment to recover from all the work you have done.

Having  a plan is the most important thing. Working the plan is the how you begion to see the manifestation. Let's go!

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Reference: Susie Gallucci Activate your Dreams (c) 2005

Thursday, June 28, 2012

How To Activate Your Dreams Part 1

There are a few reasons why many people dont see their dreams manifest.  Here's the most common reasons:

1. People believe that success only happens to other people, not them.
2. People believe others who tell them their dream is not possible.
3. People are afraid of either success or failure, or both.
4. The dream is someone else's dream for her or him, not her or hs dreams.
5. People think they are too young or old to activate their dreams.
6. People do not know how to get started.
7. People are comfortably unhappy, and afraid or unwilling to let go.

In order to activate your dreams you must be ready to aggressively take action. Remember this is your dream not what someone else wants for you. So let's talk about how to determine that your dream is really what you want. In my next blog we will talk about how to take actions to make it happen.

You should always do a Vision Check... A vision check is simply check what you are seeing against what you are feeling.

Journal these six statements:

No one else is putting pressure on you to achieve  your dream.
You are willing to figure out how to achieve it, even if you do know where to start.
You wake up and go to sleep eited about what the new day will offer.
Your passion frequently overswhelms you, and you find yourself unable to stop thinking or talking about your dream, even if others roll their eyes and seem uninterested.
Your spare time is occupied with working toward yuor dream
Your dream is not a burden to you. You dont have it make it workhowever, you want it to work.

If all statements are true then your dream is your dream. If you answered false to any of the above statements, you may want to rediscover your dream.

More to come....

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Reference: Susan Stark Gallucci, Activate Your Dreams (c) 2005

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Are You Learning Your Lesson?

When talking about empowerment, people tend to embrace it or reject it. Some say well, Why do I need to be empowered to do things that I should be doing anyway. Well that is a good questions. Recently I've been able to live a more fulfilling life by understanding my purpose in life. Instead of being afraid of it or walking around blindly. It all because I've developed self-reliance — I’ve learned to take responsibility for my own happiness instead of being passive, leaving my happiness in the hands of others.

“If you’re not self-reliant, you’ll never do any more than just ‘get by’,” I found this quote and it absolutely changed my mind about who can make my happy and why. Now with that said.  here are some steps I have found to be helpful:

  • Assume responsibility. Take the blame for things that are your fault; look after your own work; plan your own time; depend on yourself to get things done.
  • Be informed. If you don’t know some vital piece of information, find it out. Ask. Get the facts you need to make smart decisions. Knowledge gives you power. Ignorance puts you at the mercy of others.
  • Know where you’re going. Set goals. Have a long-range plan so that you understand the general course you’re trying to make through life. Don’t simply react passively to the world around you.
  • Make your own decisions. Develop the ability to think for yourself. Don’t rely on others to make choices for you — that’s a sure route to unhappiness. Be decisive.
These steps are very similar to habits espoused by modern self-help gurus. Taking control of your own destiny is a great way to improve your satisfaction with life, to increase your happiness. Here's what Ralph Waldo Emerson has to say about Self Reliance.
There is a time in every man’s education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried.
Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2009 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Coaching

Friday, June 8, 2012

Climb Every Mountain - 90 Day Free Coaching Program

Sign Up Now

Looking for self motivated, determined, focused, inspired, hard working, achievers, and dreamers to participate in my NEW 90-Day Coaching Program - "Climb Every Mountain"

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything You gave me'" - Erma Bombeck

When you read this statement what does it bring to your mind? How can you make this a true statement?

What about this quote:

"Learning is not attained by chance, It must be sought for with ardor and attended to with diligence." - Abigail Adams

"and the thy God will make thee plenteous in every work of thine hand, in the fruit of thy body, and in the fruit of they cattle, and in the fruit of thy land, for good: for the lord will again rejoice over thee for good, as he rejoiced over thy fathers:... Duet 30:9

According to His divine power hath given unto us all things that pertaineth unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him that hath called us to glory and virtue. 2 Peter 1:3

These quotes and scriptures are just some of the ones that will be included in the 90 day devotional for this program.

This program is to inspire you to climb every mountain and reach your full potential in Christ, thus living the life that God created for you from the beginning of time.

If you seem to be in a rut, not getting the results that you want to achieve or just need a change... This program is for you.

I am combining email coaching, phone coaching, motivational, life, success and empowerment coaching and wrapping it up into this 90-day program. At the end of this program you will see that you have come a long ways from where you were when you started, you will be that much closer to making the type of money you want, having that relationship, mending friendships with family, co-workers and friends. You will be able to start that business and see the results of your labor. You will be more focused, motivated, inspired and determined to succeed in every area of your life.

Your relationship with Christ will be so strong and unshakable. Your faith will soar, Your trust will be like a three cord rope, which cannot be broken. BUT WAIT... even those that are just trying to get ahead in life and not looking for a deeper relationship with Christ or a spiriutal connection can benefit from this program. The priniciples are REAL and TRUE. So No Excuses!! You will transform your life!

Are you ready to make life work for you instead of you working for a living?

Register by visiting Destined 2 B U Empowerement Coaching or calling 209-910-4055
I can be contacted at or (209) 910-4055.

I am looking for individuals who are:

* Ready to STEP UP and ditch your excuses
* Looking to transform your life FAST
* Willing to do WHATEVER it takes (with integrity, of course!)
* Eager to make tons of money doing what you LOVE
* Ready for a MASSIVE financial explosion
* Desiring a healthier and more attractive APPEARANCE
* Willing to heal relationships by becoming a better YOU
* Willing to dedicate time to create a HEALTHY lifestyle
* Done fooling around with a poverty mentality
* At the point where failure is *NOT* an option anymore
* Deadly serious about OUTRAGEOUS GROWTH in your business
* Committed to making things happen - IMMEDIATELY
* Willing to give it *ALL* you've got!
* At the point where enough is enough!
* Wanting a QUICK way to heal a broken heart and move on
* Sick of living way below YOUR POTENTIAL
* Ready to get down to business and become HIGHLY PROFITABLE
* Yearning for healthy relationships with ALL of your family members

You will recieve:
Weekly coaching via phone
Unlimited email support for the 90 Days
12 Motivational CD
Devotional Study Guide
DVD - Climb Every Mountain
Weekly Success Call Access
Access to Tele-seminar Group Session

Are you ready to climb every mountain?...
Are you ready to achieve goals?...
Are you ready to be your God-created and divinely appointed self?

Join today, make it happen visit or email or call

or call (209) 910-4055


Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2009 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Coaching

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Being Real Is Hard?

We all feel like we want to be real at times. Just strip away the facade and let it all hang out. Then we remember our reputations. Let me ask you this? What does being real mean to you? 

Listen, at some point you have got to ask yourself who you are and where are you going? This is a time of reflection. Who can truly stop you from being real, the real you? No one but YOU. So when you are thinking about your reputation... your image... what is it YOU want people to remember most about you?

Do you want people to say that you were fake but thought you were the real deal? They may even say, S/he was a great person, just never really got who they truly were. I think we need to take a look in the mirror and strip away all the makeup and masks that we wear and be real.

What are we doing with our lives and in the end does it really matter?

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Living A Happy Life

When asking "What makes you happy" People will say many things like: a raise, a better job, a new car, a bigger house, a nice long vacation and so on. Does any of these things ring true for you? Are you truly happy with your status in life. I am going to give you 5 things to help you become focused on what true happiness is and how to achieve it.

Yes, having material things can make one happy but for how long? Let's take a look at the list and see how we can experience happiness from within.

1. Family and friends

When you really think about it. Family and friends are what makes our world go around. There is nothing better than going to your grandmother's house for a good home cook meal or hanging out with cousins at the family reunion. Let's not forget the barbeque at the neighbor's house last summer. Something about being with family and friends once in a while gets the blood pumping and happiness is not too far behind. Even in the times when you are having difficulties understanding why your sister married him or why your son wants to date her, having family around that truly cares about you and you can trust gives you the sense of you are not alone, there are others that are a part of your world.

2. Giving back

Remember the movie "Pay It Forward", well that is what gives us that feeling of being complete. Doing something for nothing is not what we have been taught. Letting things go and not keeping score is a novelty idea, but when you do it you feel great. Donating to a charity or just giving someone a smile. Not wandering what the homeless man begging for change on the corner is going to do with it but handing him a dollar just because. Letting your heart lead you and not always being logical. Giving a helping hand when it is needed, makes you smile and you must admit puts an added bounce in your step.

3. Meaningful Work

What are you here to do? Not all of us can afford to do the one thing that we are passionate about. Most of the time it will not make us money so we settle for the high paying job. We soon find out that we are not happy, we are actually quite misreable but we continue to do it because it is a paycheck.

Some people will try to offset it by doing volunteer work. Listen, if you are not happy doing the job you are doing you need to rethink it. Life is too short to spend 2080 hours being miserable. Find your purpose and even if it is just on a volunteer basis, DO IT! If you can get paid and do it, even better.

4. Freedom

It's impossible to become truly happy when you don't have even a small ounce of freedom in your life. Whether it's being able to express yourself creatively or being able to make a choice for yourself, personal freedom is important. Suppressing yourself only brings forth a lot of negative emotions and discontent.

5. Success

Who doesn't want to succeed? Here's the deal people that have experience success continue to push past their fears and boundaries into new and exciting terrority. Why, because they understand the process. Those that live by fear will never experience the contentment that comes with being successful. What is that old addage,"if at first you dont succeed, try again." This means that not everything you do will be a success but dont give up. Look for what you are good at and do it well. With every failure or mistake it's just an elimination. It only means that was not it. But what is right for you is still out there. You will find that making and keeping your goals are easier once you start to experience true success. The success of not giving up on you.

These are just some of what makes people happy. Not everything is about materialism. There's happiness to be found in even the simplest, intangible things.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2010 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Coaching

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

How Do You Prepare For Success?

Nowadays, self confidence is what is needed to be able to handle all of life’s challenges. Without it, you can feel inadequate and unimportant, not to mentioned unfulfilled and lost. If you look around, you will observe that self confidence is very important and needed in relationships, careers and parenting. Building confidence is a continuous and long process, starting from the moment you first walked.

Confidence is not something that a person is born with. It comes from within a person’s desire for self-improvement, encouragement and belief of other people and accomplishments or achievements.
You might think that there are people who are born with a level of confidence that is enviable. You would be surprised at how hard they have worked to become that confident.

There are effective ways to build confidence. Here are some great tips that you should consider.

1. Find a role model that you could learn from. Having an actual person to look up to would make it easier and realistic for you. Make sure you find out how they became confident and what the factors are, which influenced that person’s confidence level.

2. Consider your achievements and accomplishments. They would help build up your confidence faster.

3. Learn to act confidently. If you do this, thinking and feeling confident would soon follow.

4. Being well-prepared is one of the reasons why confident people stay confident. Nothing destroys confidence more effectively than being caught unprepared.

5. Continually work on your skills. You will be surprised at how confident you will feel when you know you possess the right skills and talents.

6. Learn to relax. To build confidence, you should know how to compose your self and relax. Some people believe that by relaxing, you will be able to fell more confident. On the other hand, if you did not relax, you will feel unprepared.

7. Don’t set yourself up for disappointments. Building confidence would be easier if you set realistic goals. If you feel confident enough to move forward, make sure you do it slowly.

8. Give yourself a pat on the back every time you succeed in one of the goals you have set for yourself. By congratulating yourself, you learn about personal limitations and expectations.

Again, building confidence is not something that can be achieved overnight. If you experience some setbacks, you should charge it to experience and always learn from your mistakes. By not being hard on yourself, you will be able to genuinely build your confidence.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2009 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Coaching

Monday, June 4, 2012

When I say Move...Move

It is hard to make a decision, right? Is this something that you tell yourself? You want to do something you want to take advantage of an opportunity that presents itself to you but you have to make a decision to do it now. You have to look at the pros and cons.

So let me ask you this, if your life depended on you moving right now to make life better, would you have to think about it or would you just move.

If you are not willing to take a chance what does that say about you? What does that say about what you think about your life?

Sometimes, it just better to move. Just like that.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2009 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Coaching

Friday, June 1, 2012

The War For My Mind Series Day 5

Have you ever said, "But I just can’t help it." Maybe your words are similar to, "Yeah, that might work for you but not for me, I need ..." You may even tell yourself, "I okay. I don't really need to change the way I think. It's just the way I am." Sound familiar?

The great news is no one has to settle for these excuses. Just tell yourself I get to change so my life can be transformed. I get to make new decisions starting today. Here's another tip, You don't have to settle for anything. Go for what you want. Just think about it Michael Phelps said he would win 8 golden medals in the 2008 Olympics in Beijing and as I and the rest of the world watched. He did exactly that. In spite of those that said how hard it would be to make it happen. What he would have to do and how great his opponents were. Even when Serbian-American swimmer Milorad Čavić caused a minor stir when he said it would be "good" if Phelps lost. "It'd be good for him if he loses. It would be nice if historians talk about Michael Phelps winning seven gold medals and losing the eight to 'some guy.' I'd like to be that guy." Michael Phelps did not lose sight of what his ultimate goal was. as history would have it. August 17, 2008. I sat in my living room with my mother cheering him on as he would his eighth gold medal.

Day 5

The Problem:

Most of our thinking is habitual. Thousands of thoughts flow through our minds daily. Then when we had the fact that as we come into contact with others, our minds are communicating with each other and the vibes go from thousands to tens of thousands, that is a lot of thoughts. Now add to this that there are people who are more than eager to bring gossip, bad emotions, bad news and useless information to you. Well you get the picture. 

Now, listen to this, it takes no effort to think a bad thought. However, on the other hand it takes much effort to think a good thought. As you start to resist these bad thought, understand there is a war going on for your mind. It does not get easier because you have said I am going to do this. It requires you to force this into a habit. You must be conscious of your thoughts from this point on. 

The Solution:

1. Stay Active. Don't let your thoughts happen without your knowledge
2. Have positive quotes, scriptures, sayings, movies, books, songs and most important people around you
3. Mediate on good things. Find something you love that makes you smile and when things are getting hectic begin to mediate on that.
4. Have a center. Find that one things that centers you. Use your spiritual connection to God. Understand the power that comes with understanding his will for your life and his love for you. If you are not a Christian, find something greater than you that will balance you. Let me tell you there is nothing better than God for this.
5. Remember we are eternal beings living in a temporal world. This means, the world around us will change but we are constant and connected to the source of life. Remember the seasons change, you get older, but what's important remains the same.
6. Negative thoughts do not originate with you. They have a source and if you change the source you can change the thoughts.
7. Choose to think!!!

The Benefit:

It is important to remember once you make the choice to think right, to think positive and not focus on the negative. It’s not a once in for all thought and that is it. You never have to worry about it again. It is a daily active plan to make your thoughts stay positive no matter what comes your way. The great thing about this is you will be rewarded greatly for it. Those that are near you will benefit also. 

This is just a sample of a new coaching program that I am developing. I will be offering it on my website as a complimentary 30 day course. On May 1, 2012, you will be able to get all 30-days delivered to your email box. I hope you will take the time to sign up for this thought-provoking and stimulating course. 

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Thursday, May 31, 2012

The War For My Mind Series Day 4

When I first started my business about 3 years ago, I really thought that the masses would flock to me because I had the answer to their problems. They would want to do business with me because; I was going to be the best thing next to sliced bread. Well, after struggling for two years, I begun to think, who am I kidding. With a handful of clients, fighting to get paid on time and trying to stay above the whirlpool of sinking sand called bills. I was feeling a bit defeated and overwhelmed to say the least. I questioned if I was doing what I was called to do. I questioned if I had the answers for anyone including myself. I was ready to throw in the towel and go back to corporate America with my tail between my legs and my head lowered between my shoulders. As I started updating my resume, I could hear the voices of the nay-sayers, laughing and taunting me with their, "I knew she could not do it.", "I told her so", "Who did she think she was anyway, tony Robbins? John Maxwell? Silly silly little girl." 

I began to fall into depression, I did not want to eat, I slept all day, I began to not follow up on potential clients. Things were pretty bad. My dreams were slipping away and I had no desire to fight for them. I was giving up. Then I was reminded why I was doing it, a quote by Winston Churchill simply said "Never, Never, Never Give Up." This stared at me in my face on my Facebook page. I went to find this speech to read his words and I knew I could not give up. 

Day 4:

The Problem:

People will be people. They will say whatever comes to their minds. They will support you today and turn on you tomorrow. They will flatter you on Monday, curse you on Tuesday, steal from you on Wednesday, lie to you on Thursday, smile in your face on Friday, eat your food on Saturday, and pray for you on Sunday. Then the cycle repeats. The real point is this; no one can make your dreams and aspirations come true but you. However, you have to truly understand what it is you are meant to do and why.

Many times we allow others to tell us who we are and what we are capable of accomplishing. Then there is a little tiny voice on the inside of us telling us we can do more than that but we suppress that voice and settle for less. When we realize that we are not happy we sink into a giant hole of despair. 

The Solution:

1. Never Never Never Give Up
2. Understand that your dreams do make a promise that it will be easy or come naturally to you. You will have to fight for it.
3. Nothing worth having is going to just drop into your life. Look at diamonds, you have to dig for them.
4. Be careful who you share your time, energy and dreams with. There are dream killers out there in visionary clothing. Meaning, there are those that would steal your dreams to mash them and kill them but they look like those that are there to help.
5. Remove negative energy out of your personal space. Put a flowing foundation, a moving picture or something that reminds you to keep going in your work space.
6. When you think it's slipping away, remember why you are doing it. This is helpful. Have your vision written in its entirety. Have this typed out and put into a presentation that will impress you every time you see it. This should be your dream at its completion. What it will look like, feel like, who will be there, etc... See the completed picture and write it out. EVERY WORD!
7. Don't kill your own dreams. You were created (born) for this.

The Benefit:

When you can see the finish line, it is easier to stay your course. Watch a 100 meter race. The runners keep their eye on the finish line. They don't look to the left or right. They are not distracted by the crowds yelling and cheering them on. They are focused on one thing, getting to the finish line. The same is true when you have purpose and understand why you are living YOUR life.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

The War For My Mind Series Day 3

I have learned an invaluable lesson: Whatever I focus on, is what I get no matter if I am wanting something different or not.  Now this simple lesson continues to teach me daily. Listen wherever we put our energy, our attention, our meaning for existence, that is what we get and that is what will start to develop. 

Try It: Think about your favorite ice cream flavor. If you done have a favorite ice cream flavor, you can use mine Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey. It has a base of creamy banana ice cream blended with walnuts and chunks of chocolate fudge. Just think about that ice cream. Think about it, that smooth creamy substance chilled just right sitting on a cone or in a bowl, maybe even a nice triple scoop banana split with the works. Can you see it? If you are like me you can even taste it and feel it sliding down your throat. mmm... how refreshing. Okay now let's get to business

Day 3:

The Problem:

When we focus on something, our thoughts will stir our desire and emotions, and we will make a decision to follow them. This is true whether it is good (positive) or bad (negative) thoughts, whether or not they will cause good or bad reactions in our lives. So it is true if we focus on negative thoughts and things we will become negative people. Destroying everything we come in contact with. We lose our joy and our lives become miserable and empty. Just to think it all started with our thoughts.

What really gets us stuck is; we don't always realize that the problems we are experiencing right now in our lives, we have created by our own stinking thinking. We have chosen to imprison ourselves by what we choose to think about. You may be experiencing depression, loss of appetite, lack of drive, discouragement, sadness, and wonder where did it come from, why do you feel this way? Examine your thoughts, you will find that you are feeding these emotions.

The Solution:

1. Examine your thoughts.
2. What do you read? What do you watch on TV, What movies? What do you listen to on the radio? All these sources can cause negative thoughts to develop.
3. Choose what you will think about.
4. Activate a grateful list. Write down everything you are grateful for in your life and focus on the positive. Even in bad situations there is something to be grateful for.
5. Each day tell the people you love the most why you love them without saying the same thing you have already said.
6. Look for the silver lining in all situations
7. Don't let anyone bring negative gossip, conversation, or bad emotions around you.

The Benefit:

When you learn to focus on the positive, you will start to see more of the positive happening in your life. You will begin to realize that life is worth living and your dreams can be achieved. If you catch yourself slipping... Laugh at yourself and start again. Tell the truth, you are still thinking about that ice cream, huh? I know, I think I will go get a scope now. :) Happy thoughts.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The War For Your Mind Series Day 2

Many of us deal with our own misconceptions of what is reality for us. We find ourselves believing lies we tell ourselves based on assumptions we have made about others. Now this is interesting because we are the same ones championing the statement, "That's why you should never assume things" or "You know what they say about assumptions"

Recently, I had a client that came to me with a need to be free of negative thoughts. They were experiencing depression and wanted to be free. The whole first month of coaching were riding them of the assumptions that were made about life, God, their family, friends and co-workers.

Day 2:

The Problem:

Many of us, if we are honest with ourselves, have thousands of assumptions running through our heads daily. We think we are not loved by family and friends, we believe that things are done intentional especially when they hurt us, we try to figure others out before they get the upper hand on us and the list goes on and on. We are a suspicious breed. We are suspicious of others and they are suspicious of us. Here's the deal, if we can convince ourselves that we are worthless, useless, and can’t do anything right it does not take a rocket scientist to know that we will never accomplish what we are trying to accomplish.

If we spend our time fighting against our creative nature, not accepting our flaws as well as our strong points, we have defeated ourselves and there is no one else to blame for that. There are other elements that get in our way too. When it comes to the way we think. We can let outside influences nibble away at our resolve. For example: Our parents always said, you will never amount to anything, or maybe someone said you were stupid, you did not have what it takes...etc. 

We allow our thoughts to build fortresses in our mind. We start to build our lives on these fortresses and they become our core values. They become what we believe more than anything else. This is why many of us will not go after our dreams, or take a risk that may cause our lives to develop in a different way.  We allow our thoughts to form our words and our words shape our actions. Our actions then rule our lives. We are in a vicious circle. No wonder we can achieve the things we keep telling ourselves we want. The things that we long for, wish for and truly desire. We have shut down our ability to create anything but what we believe we can have. Unfortunately for us, what we believe we can have is absolutely NOTHING!

The Solution:

1. Stop lying to yourself. Realize that you are not seeing things clearly
2. Make a decision today that you will only believe the truth.
3. Find out the truth of the matter. Get in connection with people that are determined to accomplish their goals and thus will inspire you to do the same.
4. Write out everything. When you see yourself writing lies. BURN them. This action will start to cause the lies to do them same in your mind. (Figuratively) When you tell yourself a lie that lie will go up in smoke just like the ones that you burned. 
5. Replace the lies with the truth. Let the truth come from everywhere, do not limit how the truth comes to you. 
6. Remember yourself often of YOUR truth.
7. Whenever you feel like you may speak a lie, make sure tell the truth instead.

The Benefit:

One of my favorite books is The Bible. In The Bible there is a scripture that speak volumes in this area. Romans 12:1-2. In short what it says is that you cannot be conformed by the way the world thinks but you have to be transformed by the renewing of your mind. This transformation will cause you to understand the plan for your life. Knowing this plan is your reasonable service. The whole point is simply this; once you can conqueror what you think you can conquer what you can do.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Monday, May 28, 2012

The War For My Mind Series Day 1

I believe that we should find inspiration from all sources. As we journey through this world, we need to understand that our thoughts, words and actions create our reality. As I think about this I am reminded of why it is important to understand how our mind functions. Over the next few days, I am going to share some life lessons with you. Don't worry, I am always growing and will not run out of valuable content to for. Let's call this...The War For My Mind.

Okay so we have best laid plans. We have planned out our life and what we will do if and when. What happens when your plans fail? What happens when you do something that you had not planned on doing? Do we just give up? I think not.

Here's how this series will work, I will talk about some tough things that I have learned and I aim to make you think about your life. More importantly I want you to think about your thoughts, your words, your actions and finally the results from all these. Then I want you to take action. It's a war for your mind and you have to be fully engaged in this war or you will lose. Ready? Let's Go

Day 1:

The Problem:

I am convinced that people don't really want to hurt each other. We don't wake up in the morning thinking, who can I hurt today? Okay well most people don't. Let's deal with the majority of the people. Sounds fair? Good. So we wake up with the intention to make the day a great one by achieving our goals and while we are at it helping our fellow humans accomplish a goal or two also. However, somehow, during the day, a decision is made and that decision requires an action and those actions bring about words and by the end of the day, we are scratching our heads wondering how that all happened.

Does this sound familiar: "how could you say that?' "How could you do that?" "What did I ever do to you to make you do this?" I am sure a few more come to your mind even now. What I have learned is even with our best laid plans, we can get side tracked and we can hurt others. Sometimes it's selfish and intentional and sometimes it's not.  We just needed someone to listen to us, someone to love us, we were missing something in our lives and saw an opportunity to get it.

What we focus on becomes a major part of our thoughts. When we start to feel empty, or in need of something, it is our human nature to seek it out. We have plans to take the family on a vacation. We start looking into spots that we will enjoy and then your wife forgets to make your dinner. Or your son does not take out the trash. Your daughter wrecks the car. Your boss decides not to give you the promotion etc... We start to focus on the changes we are experiencing. We start to feel underappreciated even misused. Maybe more small things happen, you still try to overlook them but you are becoming more aware of how much you would prefer to hang with your friends than spend time with your family. The vicious cycle is in play it ends with you having a major family brawl and the vacation gets cancelled.

Now after a time of calming, you find out there were legit reasons certain events occurred. This knowledge would have changed how you processed the actions of the others. It did not make it better but it did now make sense. You feel like a heel for jumping to conclusions but no one in your family will look you in the eye. Even though you plan a quick get away, it nothing compared to what it could have been.

The Solution:

1. Notice when you start to feel a certain way. (Empty, neglected, misunderstood, etc...)
2. Express your needs immediately
3. Listen with your heart and not your head; hear what is not being said in the midst of what is being said.
4. Step away from the problem and come back when your emotions are not raw.
5. Look for the solution that will bring peace and not just completion
6. Include all parties in the solution.
7. Never speak out of anger. There are ways to get your point across without using angry and hurtful words. Remember, this is a person that you love, respect and need.

The Benefit:

When you take a moment to understand that we can blow things out of portion when we assume what others think or mean, then it is easier for us to hear what they have to say. Conversing with others to get an understanding is always better than burning a bridge. Even though the bridge can be rebuilt, it will never be the same. This way, you preserve your relationships and you are able to stick to your plans to push forward on purpose.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Why Do We Judge The Inside by the Outside

We have heard the saying don't judge a book by it's cover however we do it anyway. Not just books though, we judge each other. IF we feel that someone can not help us because they don't look the part we will over look them and go to the one we think can help us. Interesting thing is most of the time the very one that can help you is the one you just pass by. 

We are so wrapped up in titles, big names and what we think are proven facts that we forget everyone had to start somewhere. I get it, we want results and we want to go where we feel those results can be found. However, in the scheme of things do we want results at the cost of quality. 

Let me share with you a story and hopefully this will get my point across to you more clearly. 

In 1884 a young man died, and after the funeral his grieving parents decided to establish a memorial to him. With that in mind they met with Charles Eliot, president of Harvard University. Eliot received the unpretentious couple into his office and asked what he could do. After they expressed their desire to fund a memorial, Eliot impatiently said, "Perhaps you have in mind a scholarship."
"We were thinking of something more substantial than that...perhaps a building," the woman replied. In a patronizing tone, Eliot brushed aside the idea as being too expensive and the couple departed. The next year, Eliot learned that this plain pair had gone elsewhere and established a $26 million memorial named Leland Stanford Junior University, better known today as Stanford!
Many times unassuming individuals can hold the key to what we need but we are so wrapped up in judging what we believe to be so about them that we miss it altogether. we cannot afford to let our minds play tricks on us. You can not judge a person by what you see on the outside. Listen, in some areas people love to put on the hits, meaning they can make you think they have money, wealth and answers, however, taking a closer look they are all talk and no action. Then there is the person that you see with the hole in their jeans and dirty shoes that can make the impossible happen for you. Looks can be deceiving. 

So do me a favor, the next time you start to judge a person remember this little quote from Will Smith.

 "NEVER make permanent decisions on temporary feelings." 

It could be the very person you are willing to overlook is the one person you need the most. Take a chance you just might be pleasantly surprised.

Be Empowered 
Coach Linda Hillman 
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Dealing with Negative Emotions by Lori Deschene

“Hope is the feeling that the feeling you have isn’t permanent.” ~Jean Kerr
For as long as I can remember, I have been a fugitive from my feelings.
Psychologists suggest that we are driven by two connected motivations: to feel pleasure and avoid pain. Most of us devote more energy to the latter than the former.
Instead of being proactive and making choices for our happiness, we react to things that happen in our lives, and fight or flee to minimize our pain.
Instead of deciding to end an unhealthy relationship and open up to a better one, we may stay and either avoid confrontation or initiate one to feel a sense of control. Instead of leaving a horrible job to find one we love, we may stay and complain about it all the time, trying to minimize the pain of accepting the situation as real—and enduring until we change it.
From a very young age, I felt overwhelmed by pain. As a pre-teen, I ate my feelings. As a teen, I starved them away. In college, I drank and smoked them numb. And in my twenties, I felt and cried my eyes red and raw.
I sobbed. I wailed. I shook and convulsed. And I wished I’d never chosen to feel them, but rather kept pushing them down, pretending everything was fine.
Except when I did that, they didn’t just go away—they compounded on top each other and built up until eventually I exploded, with no idea why I felt so bad.
One time when I was 17, I couldn’t open a jar of jelly. After ten minutes of twisting, banging, and fighting, I finally threw it at a wall and broke down.
You may think that was a sure sign I had emotional problems, and assume there was some pill to help anesthetize that sadness.
That’s what a lot of people thought. But the reality was a lot simpler: I simply never dealt with my feelings from events large and small, and eventually they dealt with me.
As unpleasant as it may sound, I needed to learn how to feel bad—but first I needed to understand why I felt bad so often. It’s a whole lot easier to deal with pain when it’s not the default feeling.
This, I’ve learned, comes down to three steps:
  1. Developing emotional intelligence.
  2. Learning to sit with negative feelings.
  3. Creating situations for positive feelings.