Showing posts with label empowerment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label empowerment. Show all posts

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Featured Guest - Jaime Fleming Dixon How to Change Your Mindset

1. Tell us about you.

I am an entrepreneur (owner of Mocha Writer, LLC), founder of For Colored Gurls, a personal development blog that inspires and empowers women to live their most Fabulous lives. I'm also an author, Fab Life strategist and someone who loves life and lives on purpose.

2. How did you come up with the title for your book?

The motto of For Colored Gurls is “live your most Fabulous life,” and while the blog provides articles on different topics to help women do that, I thought, 'Why not show people, step by step, how they can actually start creating their most Fabulous lives?' After I thought about it more, I realized that before you can start living your most fabulous life, you first have to create a positive mindset. So, that's when I put the two concepts together for the title.

3. Who will benefit from reading your book?

While the book mainly targets women who are in transition or who need a positive change in their lives, I definitely think that anyone who wants to change their lives for the better can benefit from it.

4. What is the one thing people should walk away with having read your book?

They should walk away with practical and simple steps that will help them create the more positive mindset that will enable them to live the lives they desire.

5. What is one thing you would like to say to our readers today?

You absolutely can have the life you desire. If you believe in yourself and God, anything is possible!



Monday, July 9, 2012

Realizing Your Ability to Win

When you are truly ready to experience your dreams and the success that is attributed to it, you must realize that you can win.  How does one realize that they were placed in this life to win? It's not that hard and there are several ways to do so. According to Terry Louise Truvillion of Truvillion Communications, Inc., there are seven principles you can to realize your ability to win:

1. Know Who You Are And Whose You Are.
2. Stay Healthy, Alert, and Always Sober.
3. Make A Plan, Then Follow It.
4. Believe Anything Is Possible If You Prepare.
5. Only Fight Battles You Can Win.
6. Be A Risk Taker.
7. God Hears You Best When You Are On Your Knees.

Once you realize that winning is possible and you follow the above principles, you will see that a clear path to success is formed. Remember that success comes to those that are ready for it and have a winning attitude.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Thursday, July 5, 2012

The Beginning Steps Of A Life Long Journey

We must take PRIDE in all that we do. Many of us look at pride as a bad thing and we never truly understand the good side of the word. Today I want to share how Pride should be used in getting your way to the top and how you should not be afraid to exhibit PRIDE in all that you do.

P - Perseverance
R - Remember
I - Inspiration
D - Determination
E- Expression

Every journey begins with one step. You must have a dream, however, once you dream that dream and you start to allow yourself to live it, you must incorporate pride to get you from point a to point b. No don't become full of yourself and unbearable like most do when they exhibit pride. However, do let your best  Persevere, Remember, Inspire, Determine and Express are the words you should remember at all times. Your dream and life long journey is worth the very best. Now go out and show your PRIDE!

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Moving Beyond the Dream

The one thing that I have grown to understand in this life is you must have a "why". Without the understanding of your "why" it is impossible to get to the "How". Your dream is a vision. You have to see the end result before you can see the manifestation of it. Your "why" is what keeps you going when things seem to be too difficult.

Your dream is your purpose. It's just that simple. My motto for my business and my life is see the invisible, achieve the impossible. Until you are able to move beyond your dream and start to see things happen. I was reading Unleash the Winner Within You and one of the chapters was written by Cyrenius Forh Jr entitled Moving Beyond Your Dream, I wanted to share some of his tips with you.

In order for you to move pass the dreaming stage, you must:

Write It Down
I agree with this because until you write it down you cannot begin to truly see it. I would say write in down in vivid color. This will help you start to see, feel, touch, taste and smell your success. You will understand the path you will take to make it happen.

Speak Life Into Your Dreams
Many of us never truly realize the dreams that we have because of the simple fact that if we write it down, we allow ourselves and others to speak death. We doubt our ability to get the job done and when things are not going well, we can be talked  off the ledge. Meaning we simple can be talked out of our dreams. Recently I saw the movie, Man on the Ledge and it helped me to realize that if you believe in something yu must be willing to get on the ledge and take your stand. It does not matter who thinks it's impossible and that you are crazy. It matters what you believe.

You Must R.E.A.D.
In Cy's chapter he talks about Research, Engage, Ask, Devote. It is important that you know your stuff, I mean truly think about it who wants to be in business with someone who is making  an educated guess based on assumptions. Take the risk because you have done the research and know your topic inside and out. there should not be any question that you cant answer about what you are trying to accomplish and I would add this you should be able to quote the failures as well s the success quicker than anyone else. When you can talk about it with he best of them, you will find that their doubts are released. Be engaged in all aspects of your business/education/personal development. Whatever your dream you should know about events that will help you achieve it, people that are doing already and be enthusiastic about all outcomes. Ask questions often. Understanding your dream and applying knowledge is crucial to moving your dream forward and getting beyond just the dream stage. Finally, Devote all your discipline and continuous growth to your dream and it's fulfillment. Remember Les Brown said, "In order to become something you have never been, you have to  do things you have never done."

Have a G.O. Plan
GO stands for Get Organized. You must have a plan to get organized and move forward. this may mean that you have to look at relationships, hobbies, books you read, TV shows you watch, etc  to make sure that you are not allowing thoughts and attitudes that are contrary to where you are trying to go in your life but you must also put things in it's proper place. Time management is key in your GO plan.

When it is all said and done you must be ready to move beyond your dreaming stage and put action to it. It's time to live the life that you have dreamed of. It's up to you.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Friday, June 29, 2012

How to Activate Your Dreams Part 2

Recently I read a book called "Unleash The Winner Within You" and it has inspired my next few blogs. Each chapter of this book talks about things you can do to unleash your potential to achieve yur dreams. The first chapter was Activate Your Dreams by Susan Stark Gallucci.

Yesterday I wrote some of my notes that motivated me. Here's the steps mentioned in the book that will allow you to Activate Your Dreams. The following steps:

  • Pounce Now - Do something now dont wait
  • Dream Check - I like to it called it vision check
  • Step Persistently - Keep it moving in other words
  • Conquer and Continue - There will be things that you will need to overcome they do not stop you, it's just past of the process.
  • Celebrate and Rejuvenate - Do your victory dance after all accomplishments (big or small) take a moment to recover from all the work you have done.

Having  a plan is the most important thing. Working the plan is the how you begion to see the manifestation. Let's go!

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Reference: Susie Gallucci Activate your Dreams (c) 2005

Thursday, June 28, 2012

How To Activate Your Dreams Part 1

There are a few reasons why many people dont see their dreams manifest.  Here's the most common reasons:

1. People believe that success only happens to other people, not them.
2. People believe others who tell them their dream is not possible.
3. People are afraid of either success or failure, or both.
4. The dream is someone else's dream for her or him, not her or hs dreams.
5. People think they are too young or old to activate their dreams.
6. People do not know how to get started.
7. People are comfortably unhappy, and afraid or unwilling to let go.

In order to activate your dreams you must be ready to aggressively take action. Remember this is your dream not what someone else wants for you. So let's talk about how to determine that your dream is really what you want. In my next blog we will talk about how to take actions to make it happen.

You should always do a Vision Check... A vision check is simply check what you are seeing against what you are feeling.

Journal these six statements:

No one else is putting pressure on you to achieve  your dream.
You are willing to figure out how to achieve it, even if you do know where to start.
You wake up and go to sleep eited about what the new day will offer.
Your passion frequently overswhelms you, and you find yourself unable to stop thinking or talking about your dream, even if others roll their eyes and seem uninterested.
Your spare time is occupied with working toward yuor dream
Your dream is not a burden to you. You dont have it make it workhowever, you want it to work.

If all statements are true then your dream is your dream. If you answered false to any of the above statements, you may want to rediscover your dream.

More to come....


Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Reference: Susan Stark Gallucci, Activate Your Dreams (c) 2005

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Are You Learning Your Lesson?

When talking about empowerment, people tend to embrace it or reject it. Some say well, Why do I need to be empowered to do things that I should be doing anyway. Well that is a good questions. Recently I've been able to live a more fulfilling life by understanding my purpose in life. Instead of being afraid of it or walking around blindly. It all because I've developed self-reliance — I’ve learned to take responsibility for my own happiness instead of being passive, leaving my happiness in the hands of others.

“If you’re not self-reliant, you’ll never do any more than just ‘get by’,” I found this quote and it absolutely changed my mind about who can make my happy and why. Now with that said.  here are some steps I have found to be helpful:

  • Assume responsibility. Take the blame for things that are your fault; look after your own work; plan your own time; depend on yourself to get things done.
  • Be informed. If you don’t know some vital piece of information, find it out. Ask. Get the facts you need to make smart decisions. Knowledge gives you power. Ignorance puts you at the mercy of others.
  • Know where you’re going. Set goals. Have a long-range plan so that you understand the general course you’re trying to make through life. Don’t simply react passively to the world around you.
  • Make your own decisions. Develop the ability to think for yourself. Don’t rely on others to make choices for you — that’s a sure route to unhappiness. Be decisive.
These steps are very similar to habits espoused by modern self-help gurus. Taking control of your own destiny is a great way to improve your satisfaction with life, to increase your happiness. Here's what Ralph Waldo Emerson has to say about Self Reliance.
There is a time in every man’s education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried.
Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2009 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Coaching

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Being Real Is Hard?

We all feel like we want to be real at times. Just strip away the facade and let it all hang out. Then we remember our reputations. Let me ask you this? What does being real mean to you? 

Listen, at some point you have got to ask yourself who you are and where are you going? This is a time of reflection. Who can truly stop you from being real, the real you? No one but YOU. So when you are thinking about your reputation... your image... what is it YOU want people to remember most about you?

Do you want people to say that you were fake but thought you were the real deal? They may even say, S/he was a great person, just never really got who they truly were. I think we need to take a look in the mirror and strip away all the makeup and masks that we wear and be real.

What are we doing with our lives and in the end does it really matter?

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Living A Happy Life

When asking "What makes you happy" People will say many things like: a raise, a better job, a new car, a bigger house, a nice long vacation and so on. Does any of these things ring true for you? Are you truly happy with your status in life. I am going to give you 5 things to help you become focused on what true happiness is and how to achieve it.

Yes, having material things can make one happy but for how long? Let's take a look at the list and see how we can experience happiness from within.

1. Family and friends

When you really think about it. Family and friends are what makes our world go around. There is nothing better than going to your grandmother's house for a good home cook meal or hanging out with cousins at the family reunion. Let's not forget the barbeque at the neighbor's house last summer. Something about being with family and friends once in a while gets the blood pumping and happiness is not too far behind. Even in the times when you are having difficulties understanding why your sister married him or why your son wants to date her, having family around that truly cares about you and you can trust gives you the sense of you are not alone, there are others that are a part of your world.

2. Giving back

Remember the movie "Pay It Forward", well that is what gives us that feeling of being complete. Doing something for nothing is not what we have been taught. Letting things go and not keeping score is a novelty idea, but when you do it you feel great. Donating to a charity or just giving someone a smile. Not wandering what the homeless man begging for change on the corner is going to do with it but handing him a dollar just because. Letting your heart lead you and not always being logical. Giving a helping hand when it is needed, makes you smile and you must admit puts an added bounce in your step.

3. Meaningful Work

What are you here to do? Not all of us can afford to do the one thing that we are passionate about. Most of the time it will not make us money so we settle for the high paying job. We soon find out that we are not happy, we are actually quite misreable but we continue to do it because it is a paycheck.

Some people will try to offset it by doing volunteer work. Listen, if you are not happy doing the job you are doing you need to rethink it. Life is too short to spend 2080 hours being miserable. Find your purpose and even if it is just on a volunteer basis, DO IT! If you can get paid and do it, even better.

4. Freedom

It's impossible to become truly happy when you don't have even a small ounce of freedom in your life. Whether it's being able to express yourself creatively or being able to make a choice for yourself, personal freedom is important. Suppressing yourself only brings forth a lot of negative emotions and discontent.

5. Success

Who doesn't want to succeed? Here's the deal people that have experience success continue to push past their fears and boundaries into new and exciting terrority. Why, because they understand the process. Those that live by fear will never experience the contentment that comes with being successful. What is that old addage,"if at first you dont succeed, try again." This means that not everything you do will be a success but dont give up. Look for what you are good at and do it well. With every failure or mistake it's just an elimination. It only means that was not it. But what is right for you is still out there. You will find that making and keeping your goals are easier once you start to experience true success. The success of not giving up on you.

These are just some of what makes people happy. Not everything is about materialism. There's happiness to be found in even the simplest, intangible things.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2010 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Coaching

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

How Do You Prepare For Success?

Nowadays, self confidence is what is needed to be able to handle all of life’s challenges. Without it, you can feel inadequate and unimportant, not to mentioned unfulfilled and lost. If you look around, you will observe that self confidence is very important and needed in relationships, careers and parenting. Building confidence is a continuous and long process, starting from the moment you first walked.

Confidence is not something that a person is born with. It comes from within a person’s desire for self-improvement, encouragement and belief of other people and accomplishments or achievements.
You might think that there are people who are born with a level of confidence that is enviable. You would be surprised at how hard they have worked to become that confident.

There are effective ways to build confidence. Here are some great tips that you should consider.

1. Find a role model that you could learn from. Having an actual person to look up to would make it easier and realistic for you. Make sure you find out how they became confident and what the factors are, which influenced that person’s confidence level.

2. Consider your achievements and accomplishments. They would help build up your confidence faster.

3. Learn to act confidently. If you do this, thinking and feeling confident would soon follow.

4. Being well-prepared is one of the reasons why confident people stay confident. Nothing destroys confidence more effectively than being caught unprepared.

5. Continually work on your skills. You will be surprised at how confident you will feel when you know you possess the right skills and talents.

6. Learn to relax. To build confidence, you should know how to compose your self and relax. Some people believe that by relaxing, you will be able to fell more confident. On the other hand, if you did not relax, you will feel unprepared.

7. Don’t set yourself up for disappointments. Building confidence would be easier if you set realistic goals. If you feel confident enough to move forward, make sure you do it slowly.

8. Give yourself a pat on the back every time you succeed in one of the goals you have set for yourself. By congratulating yourself, you learn about personal limitations and expectations.

Again, building confidence is not something that can be achieved overnight. If you experience some setbacks, you should charge it to experience and always learn from your mistakes. By not being hard on yourself, you will be able to genuinely build your confidence.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2009 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Coaching

Monday, June 4, 2012

When I say Move...Move

It is hard to make a decision, right? Is this something that you tell yourself? You want to do something you want to take advantage of an opportunity that presents itself to you but you have to make a decision to do it now. You have to look at the pros and cons.

So let me ask you this, if your life depended on you moving right now to make life better, would you have to think about it or would you just move.

If you are not willing to take a chance what does that say about you? What does that say about what you think about your life?

Sometimes, it just better to move. Just like that.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2009 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Coaching

Thursday, May 31, 2012

The War For My Mind Series Day 4


When I first started my business about 3 years ago, I really thought that the masses would flock to me because I had the answer to their problems. They would want to do business with me because; I was going to be the best thing next to sliced bread. Well, after struggling for two years, I begun to think, who am I kidding. With a handful of clients, fighting to get paid on time and trying to stay above the whirlpool of sinking sand called bills. I was feeling a bit defeated and overwhelmed to say the least. I questioned if I was doing what I was called to do. I questioned if I had the answers for anyone including myself. I was ready to throw in the towel and go back to corporate America with my tail between my legs and my head lowered between my shoulders. As I started updating my resume, I could hear the voices of the nay-sayers, laughing and taunting me with their, "I knew she could not do it.", "I told her so", "Who did she think she was anyway, tony Robbins? John Maxwell? Silly silly little girl." 

I began to fall into depression, I did not want to eat, I slept all day, I began to not follow up on potential clients. Things were pretty bad. My dreams were slipping away and I had no desire to fight for them. I was giving up. Then I was reminded why I was doing it, a quote by Winston Churchill simply said "Never, Never, Never Give Up." This stared at me in my face on my Facebook page. I went to find this speech to read his words and I knew I could not give up. 

Day 4:


The Problem:

People will be people. They will say whatever comes to their minds. They will support you today and turn on you tomorrow. They will flatter you on Monday, curse you on Tuesday, steal from you on Wednesday, lie to you on Thursday, smile in your face on Friday, eat your food on Saturday, and pray for you on Sunday. Then the cycle repeats. The real point is this; no one can make your dreams and aspirations come true but you. However, you have to truly understand what it is you are meant to do and why.

Many times we allow others to tell us who we are and what we are capable of accomplishing. Then there is a little tiny voice on the inside of us telling us we can do more than that but we suppress that voice and settle for less. When we realize that we are not happy we sink into a giant hole of despair. 

The Solution:

1. Never Never Never Give Up
2. Understand that your dreams do make a promise that it will be easy or come naturally to you. You will have to fight for it.
3. Nothing worth having is going to just drop into your life. Look at diamonds, you have to dig for them.
4. Be careful who you share your time, energy and dreams with. There are dream killers out there in visionary clothing. Meaning, there are those that would steal your dreams to mash them and kill them but they look like those that are there to help.
5. Remove negative energy out of your personal space. Put a flowing foundation, a moving picture or something that reminds you to keep going in your work space.
6. When you think it's slipping away, remember why you are doing it. This is helpful. Have your vision written in its entirety. Have this typed out and put into a presentation that will impress you every time you see it. This should be your dream at its completion. What it will look like, feel like, who will be there, etc... See the completed picture and write it out. EVERY WORD!
7. Don't kill your own dreams. You were created (born) for this.

The Benefit:

When you can see the finish line, it is easier to stay your course. Watch a 100 meter race. The runners keep their eye on the finish line. They don't look to the left or right. They are not distracted by the crowds yelling and cheering them on. They are focused on one thing, getting to the finish line. The same is true when you have purpose and understand why you are living YOUR life.



Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

The War For My Mind Series Day 3



I have learned an invaluable lesson: Whatever I focus on, is what I get no matter if I am wanting something different or not.  Now this simple lesson continues to teach me daily. Listen wherever we put our energy, our attention, our meaning for existence, that is what we get and that is what will start to develop. 

Try It: Think about your favorite ice cream flavor. If you done have a favorite ice cream flavor, you can use mine Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey. It has a base of creamy banana ice cream blended with walnuts and chunks of chocolate fudge. Just think about that ice cream. Think about it, that smooth creamy substance chilled just right sitting on a cone or in a bowl, maybe even a nice triple scoop banana split with the works. Can you see it? If you are like me you can even taste it and feel it sliding down your throat. mmm... how refreshing. Okay now let's get to business

Day 3:

The Problem:

When we focus on something, our thoughts will stir our desire and emotions, and we will make a decision to follow them. This is true whether it is good (positive) or bad (negative) thoughts, whether or not they will cause good or bad reactions in our lives. So it is true if we focus on negative thoughts and things we will become negative people. Destroying everything we come in contact with. We lose our joy and our lives become miserable and empty. Just to think it all started with our thoughts.

What really gets us stuck is; we don't always realize that the problems we are experiencing right now in our lives, we have created by our own stinking thinking. We have chosen to imprison ourselves by what we choose to think about. You may be experiencing depression, loss of appetite, lack of drive, discouragement, sadness, and wonder where did it come from, why do you feel this way? Examine your thoughts, you will find that you are feeding these emotions.

The Solution:

1. Examine your thoughts.
2. What do you read? What do you watch on TV, What movies? What do you listen to on the radio? All these sources can cause negative thoughts to develop.
3. Choose what you will think about.
4. Activate a grateful list. Write down everything you are grateful for in your life and focus on the positive. Even in bad situations there is something to be grateful for.
5. Each day tell the people you love the most why you love them without saying the same thing you have already said.
6. Look for the silver lining in all situations
7. Don't let anyone bring negative gossip, conversation, or bad emotions around you.

The Benefit:

When you learn to focus on the positive, you will start to see more of the positive happening in your life. You will begin to realize that life is worth living and your dreams can be achieved. If you catch yourself slipping... Laugh at yourself and start again. Tell the truth, you are still thinking about that ice cream, huh? I know, I think I will go get a scope now. :) Happy thoughts.



Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The War For Your Mind Series Day 2


Many of us deal with our own misconceptions of what is reality for us. We find ourselves believing lies we tell ourselves based on assumptions we have made about others. Now this is interesting because we are the same ones championing the statement, "That's why you should never assume things" or "You know what they say about assumptions"

Recently, I had a client that came to me with a need to be free of negative thoughts. They were experiencing depression and wanted to be free. The whole first month of coaching were riding them of the assumptions that were made about life, God, their family, friends and co-workers.

Day 2:

The Problem:

Many of us, if we are honest with ourselves, have thousands of assumptions running through our heads daily. We think we are not loved by family and friends, we believe that things are done intentional especially when they hurt us, we try to figure others out before they get the upper hand on us and the list goes on and on. We are a suspicious breed. We are suspicious of others and they are suspicious of us. Here's the deal, if we can convince ourselves that we are worthless, useless, and can’t do anything right it does not take a rocket scientist to know that we will never accomplish what we are trying to accomplish.

If we spend our time fighting against our creative nature, not accepting our flaws as well as our strong points, we have defeated ourselves and there is no one else to blame for that. There are other elements that get in our way too. When it comes to the way we think. We can let outside influences nibble away at our resolve. For example: Our parents always said, you will never amount to anything, or maybe someone said you were stupid, you did not have what it takes...etc. 

We allow our thoughts to build fortresses in our mind. We start to build our lives on these fortresses and they become our core values. They become what we believe more than anything else. This is why many of us will not go after our dreams, or take a risk that may cause our lives to develop in a different way.  We allow our thoughts to form our words and our words shape our actions. Our actions then rule our lives. We are in a vicious circle. No wonder we can achieve the things we keep telling ourselves we want. The things that we long for, wish for and truly desire. We have shut down our ability to create anything but what we believe we can have. Unfortunately for us, what we believe we can have is absolutely NOTHING!

The Solution:

1. Stop lying to yourself. Realize that you are not seeing things clearly
2. Make a decision today that you will only believe the truth.
3. Find out the truth of the matter. Get in connection with people that are determined to accomplish their goals and thus will inspire you to do the same.
4. Write out everything. When you see yourself writing lies. BURN them. This action will start to cause the lies to do them same in your mind. (Figuratively) When you tell yourself a lie that lie will go up in smoke just like the ones that you burned. 
5. Replace the lies with the truth. Let the truth come from everywhere, do not limit how the truth comes to you. 
6. Remember yourself often of YOUR truth.
7. Whenever you feel like you may speak a lie, make sure tell the truth instead.

The Benefit:

One of my favorite books is The Bible. In The Bible there is a scripture that speak volumes in this area. Romans 12:1-2. In short what it says is that you cannot be conformed by the way the world thinks but you have to be transformed by the renewing of your mind. This transformation will cause you to understand the plan for your life. Knowing this plan is your reasonable service. The whole point is simply this; once you can conqueror what you think you can conquer what you can do.



Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Why I Do What I Do

I love coaching! I approach every new client with enthusiasm because I know I can take them to the next level... and beyond. I know if they stick with me, they'll have what they want in life. I work with people who are looking for more fulfillment in their lives, whether it's to enhance a life that's already satisfactory, or to implement a complete lifestyle or career change. I excel in coaching people from the inside out - making the internal changes as well as the external. My unique coaching process sparks insights, increases personal power and expands my clients' ability to create what they want in a way that lasts a lifetime. 

I'm also a very practical and down-to-earth coach. I help clients organize and prioritize everything in their lives, from balancing home and work, to managing a family. And while they're getting organized, they learn how to stop procrastinating, get out of overwhelm and make time for self-care.

Just as in coaching, I have brought that same desire and passion into my writing and speaking. It's not just a career for me but it's a way to leave a great impact on this world.



Be Empowered 
Coach Linda Hillman 
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Monday, May 21, 2012

Unleash Your Power and Potential

Let me say this, the first thing you must do is change your perception. You have to stop doing things that are hindering you instead of helping you. Stop the madness!

Stop looking for things to come to you from outside sources. You have to choose to look inside of you. Stop hoping that things will change because of your job, family, status inlife, church, car etc. Many believe if they have enough stuff and the right people around me…It will come. Again, STOP the madness.

Go to the mirror; take along look and say, “Everything that I need is IN me. I must become aware of me.” You have to make a conscious and intentional choice to raise your self-awareness. Listen, who should know youbetter than YOU?

Self-Awareness is the only thing that is going to bring true joy and real success into YOUR life. Having abundance is determined and dependent on you understanding this simple, yet necessary, process.

“Experiencing an uncommon kind and quality of life for yourself requires nothing more and nothingless than ‘consciously choosing’ an inside out approach to life” - Chuck Danes

The undeniably creative and life changing principles revealed in this book consist of highly effective strategies that produce results better than external ways and means to accumulate material wealth and success.

It is proven that they'll provide more than monetary attainment which so many “feel " is going to make them happy and satisfied.

Although, the material forms of wealth are extremely more "desirable", for many, overlooking the all-important fact that the acquisition of things whether physical, financial, relational, emotional or spiritual are much simpler to acquire and experience than the vast majority "perceive."

Few understand and decide to do what the majority will not do. They experience phenomenal results in life, simply because they “DO” something outside of the normal and mundane. They dare to be aware.

Understand this, physical activity is not the beginning nor is it the end of the process as many would believe. Just because you are “Doing” things does not ensure you are going to be successful and attain your dreams.


Be Empowered 
Coach Linda Hillman 
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Friday, May 18, 2012

Empowerment: What Is It?

Many use the term empowerment without understanding what it really means. A literature review resulted in no clear definition of the concept, especially one that could cross-disciplinary lines. This article defines empowerment as a multi-dimensional social process that helps people gain control over their own lives. It is a process that fosters power in people for use in their own lives, their communities and in their society, by acting on issues they define as important. The Connecticut People Empowering People program uses this definition to connect research, theory, and practice. 



For many, empowerment is the goal we have for our programs and the volunteers, participants, or clients with whom we work. But what is empowerment? How can we recognize it? Evaluate it? Talk about it with others who are interested in empowerment? Our recent literature review of articles indicating a focus on empowerment, across several scholarly and practical disciplines, resulted in no clear definition of the concept across disciplinary lines. Many using the term cope with its lack of clear, shared meaning by employing the concept very narrowly, using only their specific scholarly discipline or program to inform them. Others do not define the term at all. As a result, many have come to view "empowerment" as nothing more than the most recently popular buzz word to be thrown in to make sure old programs get new funding.

We maintain that empowerment is much more than that. Empowerment is a process that challenges our assumptions about the way things are and can be. It challenges our basic assumptions about power, helping, achieving, and succeeding. To begin to demystify the concept of empowerment, we need to understand the concept broadly in order to be clear about how and why we narrow our focus of empowerment for specific programs and projects (specific dimension or level, etc.) and to allow discussion of empowerment across disciplinary and practice lines. Understanding empowerment became a critical issue for us as we grappled with the task of sharing the People Empowering People (PEP) program with Extension faculty across the country.

Understanding Power
At the core of the concept of empowerment is the idea of power. The possibility of empowerment depends on two things. First, empowerment requires that power can change. If power cannot change, if it is inherent in positions or people, then empowerment is not possible, nor is empowerment conceivable in any meaningful way. In other words, if power can change, then empowerment is possible. Second, the concept of empowerment depends upon the idea that power can expand. This second point reflects our common experiences of power rather than how we think about power. To clarify these points, we first discuss what we mean by power.

Power is often related to our ability to make others do what we want, regardless of their own wishes or interests (Weber, 1946). Traditional social science emphasizes power as influence and control, often treating power as a commodity or structure divorced from human action (Lips, 1991). Conceived in this way, power can be viewed as unchanging or unchangeable. Weber (1946) gives us a key word beyond this limitation by recognizing that power exists within the context of a relationship between people or things. Power does not exist in isolation nor is it inherent in individuals. By implication, since power is created in relationships, power and power relationships can change. Empowerment as a process of change, then, becomes a meaningful concept.

A brief exercise makes the importance of this discussion clear. Quickly, list three words that immediately come to mind when you hear the word power. For most people, words that come to mind when we think about power often revolve around control and domination. Focusing on these aspects of power limit our ability to understand and define empowerment.

The concept of empowerment also depends upon power that can expand, our second stated requirement. Understanding power as zero-sum, as something that you get at my expense, cuts most of us off from power. A zero-sum conception of power means that power will remain in the hands of the powerful unless they give it up. Although this is certainly one way that power can be experienced, it neglects the way power will remain in the hands of the powerful unless they give it up. Although this is certainly one way that power is experienced, it neglects the way power is experienced in most interactions. Another brief exercise highlights the importance of a definition of power that includes expansion. Answer the question; "Have you ever felt powerful?" Was it at someone's expense? Was it with someone else?

Grounded in an understanding that power will be seen and understood differently by people who inhabit various positions in power structures (Lukes, 199 4), contemporary research on power has opened new perspectives that reflect aspects of power that are not zero-sum, but are shared. Feminists (Miller, 1976; Starhawk, 1987), members of grassroots organizations (Bookman & Morgen, 1984), racial and ethnic groups (Nicola-McLaughlin & Chandler, 1984), and even individuals in families bring into focus another aspect of power, one that is characterized by collaboration, sharing and mutuality (Kreisberg, 1992).

Researchers and practitioners call this aspect of power "relational power"(Lappe & DuBois, 1994), generative power (Korten, 1987), "integrative power," and "power with" (Kreisberg, 1992).This aspect means that gaining power actually strengthens the power of others rather than diminishing it such as occurs with domination/power. Kreisberg has suggested that power defined as "the capacity to implement" (Kreisberg, 1992:57) is broad enough to allow power to mean domination, authority, influence, and shared power or "power with." It is this definition of power, as a process that occurs in relationships, that gives us the possibility of empowerment.

Understanding Empowerment
Empowerment is a construct shared by many disciplines and arenas: community development, psychology, education, economics, and studies of social movements and organizations, among others. How empowerment is understood varies among these perspectives. In recent empowerment literature, the meaning of the term empowerment is often assumed rather than explained or defined. Rappoport (1984) has noted that it is easy to define empowerment by its absence but difficult to define in action as it takes on different forms in different people and contexts. Even defining the concept is subject to debate. Zimmerman (1984) has stated that asserting a single definition of empowerment may make attempts to achieve it formulaic or prescription-like, contradicting the very concept of empowerment.

A common understanding of empowerment is necessary, however, to allow us to know empowerment when we see it in people with whom we are working, and for program evaluation. According to Bailey (1992), how we precisely define empowerment within our projects and programs will depend upon the specific people and context involved.

As a general definition, however, we suggest that empowerment is a multi-dimensional social process that helps people gain control over their own lives. It is a process that fosters power (that is, the capacity to implement) in people, for use in their own lives, their communities, and in their society, by acting on issues that they define as important.

We suggest that three components of our definition are basic to any understanding of empowerment. Empowerment is multi-dimensional, social, and a process. It is multi-dimensional in that it occurs within sociological, psychological, economic, and other dimensions. Empowerment also occurs at various levels, such as individual, group, and community. Empowerment, by definition, is a social process, since it occurs in relationship to others. Empowerment is a process that is similar to a path or journey, one that develops as we work through it. Other aspects of empowerment may vary according to the specific context and people involved, but these remain constant. In addition, one important implication of this definition of empowerment is that the individual and community are fundamentally connected.



Nanette Page
Former Connecticut PEP Facilitator
Flint, Michigan
Cheryl E. Czuba
Extension Educator, Community Development, Families
University of Connecticut Cooperative Extension System
Haddam, Connecticut
Internet address: cczuba@canr1.cag.uconn.edu


Thursday, May 17, 2012

How To Get A Raise on Your Job!

Employee: Excuse me sir, may I talk to you?  
Boss: Sure, come on in.   What can I do for you?
Employee:  Well sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this prestigious firm for over ten years.
Boss:  Yes. 
Employee:  I won't beat around the bush.   Sir, I would like a raise. I currently have four companies after me and so I decided to talk to you first.
Boss:  A raise?   I would love to give you a raise, but this is just not the right time. 
Employee:  I understand your position, and I know that the current economic down turn has had a negative impact on sales, but you must also take into consideration my hard work, pro- activeness and loyalty to this company for over a decade.
Boss:  Taking into account these factors, and considering I don't want to start a brain drain, I'm willing to offer you a ten percent raise and an extra five days of vacation time.  How does that sound? 
Employee:  Great!   It's a deal!   Thank you, sir!
Boss:  Before you go, just out of curiosity, what companies were after you? 
Employee:  Oh, the Electric Company, Gas Company, Water Company and the Mortgage Company!

Sometimes you just have to ask for what you want and stop thinking that they don't want to do it. I thought this was a funny but realistic look at a simple problem being resolved quickly.


Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Keep Believing and HOLD On!

Have you ever has someone tell you just keep believing and hold on, it will happen. Sometimes you just want to take that person by the shoulders and shake them. Right? I mean you know that but what you are experiencing right now makes you feel your world is falling out from under your feet.

For many people storms of life can shake us and cause us to lose focus. In these times what we want most is someone to truly understand the sinking feeling in our gut. However, no matter how much we want to wallow in our pity for the failures of life that happen while we are trying to achieve that silver lining, we must never lose sight of the reward. You have a dream, a vision and no matter what going on in your life today, tomorrow does not look like this.

In these times this is what I do to help keep me on track.

1. I close my eyes and see the dream/vision again.
2. I write in my journal any new things that stand out to me.
3. I go to my mirror and repeat the vision to myself until my tears start to dry and a smile appears on my face.
4. I make a new list of things to do and I begin on a new project. Sometimes a fresh look at an old problem will help you overcome obstacles that seemed to be getting the better of you.
5. I find someone who believe in the dream and let them tell me how they know I can do it. This is important because you will find that they have a more accurate report of your status because they are looking from a different angle than you.
6. I remember that I am just a servant and that what my dream/vision will accomplish will not only help me but there are many hundred, even thousands that will benefit from it.
7. Here's a free tip :) I don't wallow in self pity more than an hour. When you let discouragement settle in your mind it works against you and it may take days, months and even years to recover. So don't let it get it's grips on you.

So now go out there and conquer your journey.



Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Monday, May 14, 2012

I Am So Amazed That You Are Still Here!!!

Now this is not what you think. I am not saying that I am amazed that people are reading my blogs more and more each day. Although I am very grateful. I am amazed at how many women especially are still in the same spot as they were...weeks, months, years ago. I have to ask myself, WHY?

Well, here's the real deal. We want to change. I believe that but we are operating in fear. Someone, somewhere told us our dreams are not available to us. The hard thing to swallow I think is that we somehow believe what they said. Maybe it was a parent when we were still very impressible to outside influences. Others might have a teacher that intimidated us, or some other authority figure. Many of us have surrounded ourselves with people who are what I call dream killers. They cant see you attaining your dream and they remind you of this daily. No wonder we have not move forward.

Take  A deep breath... There is hope still... It's time to move forward.

First you must understand that a decision has to be made about the people in your life. You must take inventory of those that you choose to share your life and dreams with. Not everyone, including family, friends and loved ones, can handle the dream that is birthed in your spirit. You can see yourself operating at a level that is no where near where you are now. That is a good thing. If you were already living your dream it would not be a dream. right? Right!

Now second you must come to grip that your dream will not happen overnight. There is no over night success and no free opportunities. Everything must and should cost you something. Yes, you heard me. Be willing to put the work in to get what is yours. Believe me when you fight for it and work toward it, you will appreciate and cherish it more. So stop complaining about it being hard... Did you really want it to be easy to attain? Think about it. If something is easy, then everyone will do it. Those that make it to the top travel the road that has few travelers on it.

Breath deeper...It's going to get better...Keep moving.

Lastly, you must be willing to press through the hard times and understand that the process to realize your dream is not made of all great days. There will be some set backs, some starts and stops. There will be times you want to cry...Who Am I kidding...YOU will cry. It just part of the process. Listen to me, once you are focused on the end result... you will be thankful for the hard days. Believe me.  Remember this, in the times when things are hard for you and you want to throw in the towel, say this to yourself. "It's darkest before the dawn." Meaning your breakthrough, your release, your journey may be coming to an end if you just persevere through.

It's your journey and no one can tell you what it should look like.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group