Friday, March 30, 2012

Let's Just Face It, There Are Certain Things You Can't Change

Many people have a misconception about prayer, they think if I pray about it I will get what I ask for. Which to some extent that is true, however, let me ask you this, what happens when you pray and it does not happen the way you prayed it would. Well, let's explore this... I know, I know stay with me even if you are not a christian you will understand this, trust me.

Prayer is the contemplation of the truths of God from a higher standpoint. Prayer is not a monologue but a dialogue between you and the source of all knowledge. Prayer transforms situations, circumstances, and the one who prays. Whether you call it prayer or not. It is important to understand that we become that which we focus on, Yes even in prayer. Prayer goes hand in hand with mediation. Mediating on harmony, beauty, love, peace, and goodwill will open up a world of possibilities to you that will melt away all strife and heaviness.

When you ask a question about life, a situation, or wonder why something is occurring, you are praying. The important thing to remember is to wait for the answer to come. It will come. Many times the answer to our problems are not what we think is best but actually what is best for our situation, now and in the future. It is important to understand this, the answer will not only change your now but it will set you in a place to receive what is to come.

Prayer is not used to change others, but it is used to give you a higher sense of purpose. To allow you to see things from the bigger picture. It gives you a sense of unity with those around you and all living creatures. As a christian, I believe that prayer aligns you with the perfect will for your life through the knowledge that can only can come from God. Whether you call the source of life God or something else, prayer is your connection to it. So let me stress here, you cant pray enough in your journey of finding your destiny.

Listen, many times we want to change others,we want to have it sunny instead of rain, we want the rotation of the earth to reverse, okay maybe not but you understand we want to grow a few more inches after adult hood or want our hair, eyes or genes structure to change. Some people get into thinking if I think it hard enough it will be so. There are just some things we cant change. Prayer aligns you with what can be changed and helps you accept what cannot. In your journey, this is needful for your success to be a joy and not a weight.

When you pray, make sure you are open to what the answer will be. If you are praying for health or healing, death just might be the answer, it does not mean your prayer was not answered, it just means the perfect answer was death. If you are praying for success but you seem to be bombarded with issue after issue, work through them the lessons there will make sure your success is there always. Remember the answer to a question provided by infinite knowledge is not going to always seem logical to us but it will be the best answer and we will be transformed to a higher awareness because of it. So pray often, and let the best answer come to you by Divine guidance.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Learning to Say Yes and No in Life

Two important words we learn as a young child are yes and no. We learn at an early age that if you like something say yes and if you don't say no. However, as we grow up to an adult we start to learn that it is not that simple. I ask you, why not?

It's your obligation to say yes to all ideas that will encourage, bless, heal, inspire and motivate you to live a better and more productive life. It's your responsibility to accept only eternal truths; and to use spiritual concepts in your life as a guidance on this journey. However the same is true for saying no. We must say no to all teachings, thoughts, creeds and dogmas that inhibit, restrict and instill fear into our minds. To put it simply, we must say yes to the joys of life and no to anything that does not bring joy.

Many people just want to be happy. That is not a bad thing to ask for but more than happiness, we need to experience joy. Joy is something that can not be taken away with material gain or loss. As you make a daily habit of realizing these truths, you'll develop a radiant personality and create a channel for all good things to flow to you.

Many times we will say yes or no out of fear of the unknown, however, external events and circumstances are not causative. Meaning negative or positive conditions dont create other conditions. The primary cause - that which forms your destiny - is your thoughts and feelings or mental attitude. When we speak a yes or no we are speaking it based on these factors. Many times, we are trying to please external sources and our inner self is screaming the opposite. Whether you say Yes or No, it should be based on what is best for your growth. Therefore, decree that Infinite Wisdom and Intelligence reveal to you the solution. It's okay to take a moment before you speak to inquire what is best. Don't be afraid to say yes, even to something that seems uncomfortable as long as it bring a inner peace and joy. More importantly, cultivate saying no to anything that brings worry, stress, doubt, ill will or feelings.

It is important that you understand your destiny, and you answer according to it. Not everyone is on the same path as you and many will try to derail you so they can get to their destination. It is necessary for you to be steadfast and unmovable when it comes to finishing your journey. Remember destiny is the destination and purpose is the vehicle that will get you there the quickest. Do everything ON purpose and remember saying yes to wisdom and no to folly is always best.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Follow Up With Yourself

If you are a business professional of any kind, you understand the importance of follow-up with your clients and prospects. However, what about you? What about the importance of following up with yourself. You can read books, blogs and even go to seminars, but if you don't act on the newly acquire knowledge it is like shooting a dud bomb in the middle of a war. You lose!

Let me put it this way, would you learn all you can about your new client, her needs, her obstacles, and not get back with them to help them with the right products and services that you offer. Setting up your client for a potential sale would never do. Would you walk away from that money on the table. I think not. However that is what happens when you chase guru after guru, seminar after seminar and coaching product after coaching product and you never get results. It's not that the guru was wrong, or the seminar did not help, or even the coaching products were not a good fit. It's you!

Once you go to a seminar, buy a coaching program or follow a guru, follow up with yourself. Put a tip or two in to practice immediately. See how they work for you. Most tips take about 3-4 months to show results. so don't do for a week and convince yourself it did not work. Experiment with the techniques in social and professional settings. Dig for deeper motivation, remove negative thoughts and actions, try new props or substitutions, free yourself from drama. The point is Keep doing it until you find something that works for you. You are not made exactly like the person you gleamed it from so make it your own.

Here's something to think about actors build their technique one block at a time, starting with the basics , which is how coaching is designed to work. Master one technique at a time and build onto what you have learned with the next. You will start to see things are not as hard s you originally thought and you will start to see the plan work for you too. To borrow from Ali Brown, stop getting distracted by the BSO (Bright Shining Objects).

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Negative vs Positive Actions

To ensure your motives are powerful and sustainable, make sure that they are in a positive form. Meaning you can focus on the negative and expect the opposite to happen. You must switch your mindset. Although negative motivations may fuel you for a little while, they quickly run out of steam, and people tend to respond poorly to them. You may really desire to get out of debt or change bad habits, or even start a healthy relationship, but those negative emotions will only drain your energy and hurt your effectiveness to make good decisions in the end. Stop focusing on what you don't want in your life and start to focus on what you DO!

Listen, Have you seen the movie Psycho. In this movie Norman Bates ultimate goal was NOT to kill the guest in his hotel, it was actually to please his mother. Now that is a positive intention right. We all want Mom's approval, however in wanting to please his mother, he thought it meant hurting others. ( Okay i admit a bit extreme, but really take heed to the comparisons). In trying to use negative emotions to get positive results we are just like Norman Bates, a mixed up and confused psychopath killing our dreams. Get it it?

With a little work, any negative action can be turned into a positive counterpart. You must think of ways to re-position your action in a positive light. Here are some examples you can try:

Instead of arguing; you could negotiate
Instead of insisting; you could compel
Instead of demanding; you could urge
Instead of tracking down; you could pursue
Instead of pushing; you could encourage

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Monday, March 26, 2012

Join The Destiny Seekers Inner Circle

The mission of The Destiny Seekers Circle™ is to provide insight and support for the conscious individual in a purposeful setting – focusing on authentic and empowering strategies to help YOU grow to become who you are destined to be.

What is The Destiny Seekers Circle™?
The Destiny Seekers Circle™ is a virtual community of conscious and spiritual individual, where They can come together to receive support, ask for feedback and resources, and discover new and effective strategies for become The person They were created to be in a low-cost coaching environment including monthly group calls, a private forum, and a monthly newsletter “A Better You Now” and weekly motivational e-mails with lots of tips.
“True discovery consists not in finding new landscapes, but in seeing the same landscape with new eyes.” ~ Marcel Proust

Who can join The Destiny Seekers Circle™?
The Destiny Seekers Circle™ is specifically for the individual who would like to receive support in launching a business, writing a book, taking steps toward new relationship, living a dream or vision. Typically speakers, authors, visionary entrepreneurs, stay at home moms/dads, those going through transitions and other that just can’t quite find their place will greatly benefit from this type of setting.

What does The Destiny Seekers Circle™ include?
The Destiny Seekers Circle™ includes:
* One monthly group coaching call – the first Monday of every month at 7PM Eastern, 6PM Central, 5PM Mountain, 4PM Pacific – these calls are open coaching calls, simply call in for your opportunity to receive laser coaching.
* Weekly email empowerment tips, strategies, and support
* Private group forum to ask questions and generate discussions on hot topics
* Support, encouragement, and accountability
* Sharing in successes, visions, and understanding
* Occasional guest experts and bonuses
* 1:1 coaching once a week for 12 weeks
* The Destiny Seekers Circle Journal™ plus…
* Get Inspired CD ($12.95 value Bonus)
* Discounts on ALL live events and coaching programs (Bonus)
“A Master Mind is the harmonious alliance of two or more minds that create a friendly environment to gather, classify and organize new information for fast and effective implementation.” ~ Napoleon Hill

Why would someone join The Destiny Seekers Circle™?
This is perfect for the individual who occasionally has questions about purpose, destiny, success and meaning. The individual who needs an answer on how to do something, or would like to be a part of a larger community and collaborative effort of support, while achieving goals and making their lives better now. This is for the individual who is tired of the mediocre and mundane. The individual tired of empty promises and pipe dreams and not interested in being plummeted by another get rich quick scheme or dream killing opportunity. So if you are ready to roll up your sleeves and have the drive, guts and determination to get in the driver’s seat of your life and stop being persuaded by the “green grass” in the Joneses yard. If you are ready to take care of your own lawn and sow your own seeds so that you may reap a bountiful harvest, then The Destiny Seekers Circle™ is for you!

Warning: This is for the individual who wants to live as they are supposed to live, the ones that know that they are here for a purpose and given the opportunity they will shine like the radiant, brilliant and unique star they ARE!
How does The Destiny Seekers Circle™ work?
The Destiny Seekers Circle™ is ongoing so it begins for you as soon as you register. You can begin connecting with other members, introduce yourself and ask questions in the private forum. You can stop participating in the circle at any time, no questions asked.

“The only things worth learning are the things you learn after you know it all.”~ Harry S. Truman
How can I join The Destiny Seekers Circle™?
It’s simple, just click on the registration link below and get started today. You can join the first month for only $5.00, and Then every month following that you will be billed $15.99/month.

**This is a limited price and after April 30,2012. The monthly price will go up to $24.99 and the first month will be $12.00 HOWEVER, not for those already participating in The Destiny Seekers Circle™. **

Here’s the recap of what The Destiny Seekers Circle™ includes
* One monthly group coaching call – The first Monday of every month at 7PM Eastern, 6PM Central, 5PM Mountain, 4PM Pacific – These calls are open coaching calls, simply call in for your opportunity to receive laser coaching.
* Weekly email marketing tips, strategies, and support
* Private group forum to ask questions and generate discussions on hot topics
* Support, encouragement, and accountability
* Meet like-minded colleagues and make valuable connections
* Guest experts and bonuses
* Weekly 1:1 coaching for 12 weeks
* The Destiny Seekers Journal™
* “Get Inspired” CD (12.95 value – added Bonus)
* Discounts on ALL live events and coaching programs – Valued at thousands of dollars – added Bonus)
You get all of this support and more for only $5.00 for your first month and then $15.99 for each additional month you stay in the program. Membership may be discontinued at any time. Remember, you are getting an additional savings for joining during this introductory period. In May the price goes up to 24.99 with the first month being $12.00.

What would happen if you had...
the opportunity to get ongoing ideas, tips, and inspiration to support you in your search and growth journey to live your authentic, complete and purposeful life and the opportunity to share your services and experiences with other like-minded individuals?

What would happen if you had…
the opportunity to ask simple and easy questions that would ensure that you grow faster, reach more answers, and expand your knowledge?

How different would your life look if you had…
* a safe space to get feedback, encouragement, and accountability on a consistent basis?
* more confidence in achieving your visions and dreams that you are implementing?
Remember the last time you were planning to transition to a new career, relationship, business opportunity, or maybe it was planning a speech, writing that book or etc…, but didn’t feel confident in what you were doing, how successful you would be, and what to say to others who asked what you were doing or thinking?

Just one more thing…
This is a powerful, low-cost solution to getting the support that you need. My hourly fees start at $500 per session – so don’t delay and take advantage of this incredible opportunity today! Remember April 30, 2012 is just around the corner.

Have additional questions, email us now.

Linda Hillman is the Transformation Empowerment Coach, helping the conscious individual find ways to realize and manifest their authentic, complete and purposeful life. Coach Linda focuses on the end result as a way to grow you to your potential more effectively and efficiently. SEE The Invisible, ACHIEVE The Impossible! Dare 2 B U NOW! (

**NOTE: Membership benefits are subject to change without notice at anytime.**

Friday, March 23, 2012

Never Trust A Stranger!

Many people are more likely to believe what others say about you then they are to believe what you say about yourself. It's a human nature thing. In short, they expect you to provide clear proof of what you've demonstrated before trusting you and allowing a relationship to develop. Many times this can be frustrating, especially to the business owner, new person in the group, etc.

The answer is references. They are needed to "close the deal". I mean you see those commercial about buying a car, we are told to show me the Car-fax. If you ignore this need to be validated by those who have a relationship with you already you will miss out on potentially great relationships. Remember we are conditioned to what to see the "proof in the pudding."

Now this can work both ways, you will have those that sing your praises, they will always see the cup as half full. On the other hand, you will have those that will always see the cup as half empty. This is good for you. Learn from those who speak negative about an encounter with you. Ask yourself how you can make it better the next time it comes up. Learn from your past mistakes and keep it moving. However, you can also learn from those that speak well of you.

In achieving your goals, you must always be growing. Otherwise, your dreams will being to become old news. Keep in mind the Wizard from Oz. Those in Oz had never seen a hot air balloon when he arrived, they assumed he was some great being, but he lived in fear that someone would discover his truth. When the good witch came to speak with Dorothy and her friends, they were told the very things they deemed as negative were actually their strengths. Our dreams to do not require us to change, it requires us to learn and grow. Dig deep inside of us and allow are truth to be known.

Never trust a stranger to tell your story. You tell your truth from a place of inward reflection. those that are lucky enough to be in relationship with you, will see that you have what it takes to go all the way. Don't worry they will spread the news.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Logic Has It's Place

Do you remember Star Trek and the famous saying of Mr. Spock. He would always say if something was logical or illogical. He was not a man bothered with emotions. So when emotions came into play, he would always deem it as illogical. Many of us are the same way. We want our lives to come together and we want to be happy with our decisions and actions. However, walking in your purpose and fulfilling your destiny always seems illogical. The logic is just not there.

We have bills that need to be paid, we have responsibilities and logic says we need to make sure that we take care of all that. However, we are dying inside because we are not allowing the illogical and the emotional to have expression in our lives. Understand this, I know it's hard to make a decision without knowing for sure what will happen. We actually do this everyday, we live. We go to work, drive a car, take an airplane ride, etc without knowing if we will reach our destination. Okay, you are right, there's a difference in this kind of logic. However, the truth is the truth. It is illogical for us to put ourselves in harm's way each and everyday with such common actions, but we do. Just think, when someone does not arrive at a destination due to some tragic event we call it an accident.

However, when we do not arrive at our destined life, we call it being safe. It's actually just as tragic as the accident. Follow me just a bit longer.

When you are approached by a salesperson in a store or even in your home, you are looking for that person to establish a firm foundation based on your communicated needs, true customer service, common interests and honesty. this strengthens the reasons you buy now instead of later. Emotion, rather than logic, may prompt most people to buy that new TV, car, house, pair of shoes, or latest gadget. Of course there may be some buyer's remorse later that may crumpled the confidence born in the moment of emotion. When logic kicks in, you may return the item or, depending on how emotional attached you are, you will try to make it work into your current lifestyle.

The same is true for walking out purpose and destiny. You need to reinforce your emotional tie with your logical thinking. Listen a good sales person will reinforce your emotional reasons for buying as well as fortify them with solid, logical bottom-line reasons that you made the right decision. So when you are at home and working your budget, that remorse will not set in. You must be able and willing to do the same with your dreams. You must understand that reasons you are taking the chance on living them out in moments of doubt  and lock in the journey. Understand that logic has it's place but it's not there to talk you out of it but to aid you in why it should happen, and most importantly, why it should happen.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Are You A Pig

Now I know many of you are reading this because of the title. So Are you? Are you a pig?

Let me ask it this way, Are you Persistent? Are you Informative? Do you have Goals? If your answer is "YES" to all the questions, then I must ask one more question. What are you going to do about it?

Recently, I read that there are three elements in the sales-prosperity troika. They are Persistence, Information and Goals. Good selling is good management. Put even better is it good SELF management. A person that has good management of time, self and resources is well on their way to getting the promotion, starting the company, getting that mate or having that child. Whatever your dream is, you must have a good management system behind you and in front of you if the truth must be told.

Again, I ask you are you a P.I.G.?I talk to many individuals who say they don't need a coach but I hear in their statements that they are all over the place. They are inconsistent, stressed, stretched and basically running in circles. They have what it takes to achieve their goals, they just have not written anything down or if they have written it down they are not following their own plan. If this is you? Don't worry we all have those moments in our lives. We want to live the dream but the dream seems to be just outside of our grasp and we are settling (Whether we think we are or not) for less.

Let me help you, if you have not already, STOP running in circles and get organized. Write down your short-, medium-, and long-term goals and objectives. I suggest 1 month, 3 month, 6 month, 1 yr and 5 yr plan to start off with. In your plan you should have salary, career/business, education, house, car, family, vacations, how you will help others. You can add items to make it more personal to you. You will want to update these goals and objectives often. This means don't just write them and then walk away, put it somewhere where you can see them daily.

I guarantee you do this and you will start to see manifestation of your goals and objectives. Holding ambitions in thought like this daily can cause them to fulfill themselves almost miraculously! Don't believe me? I dare you to try it and not deviate from your plans or skip steps. Remember if you work the plan, the plan will work. Go ahead and be a PIG!

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The Fear of Rejection, Can It Be Overcome?

Many suffer from the fear of rejection. In my recent studying for my new Tele-seminar series "Fear Is Not An Option" I took a close look at why we allow this fear to operate and many times stop us from moving forward in life.

It begins with the social conditioning that stands between two people when they first meet. We are taught to not speak to strangers. We are taught that we should judge certain factors before we trust another individuals. In most cases this keeps us from being "had" however, when it comes to us stepping out of our comfort zone and doing something a bit different than we have in the past. This actually becomes a hindrance to us.

We know that people will look at us as we approach them, and they will begin a process that includes all five senses and their intuition. This collaboration of the senses and our human intention is deeply embedded in us and has been crafted by social conditioning. this is where the saying, "First impressions are the lasting ones."

Let me back up a bit and then push forward, When we first meet someone we will extend our hand in a hearty handshake. Have you ever asked yourself why we do that? Well, in African cultures a raised-palm greeting and our own American culture of a handshake has survived as evidence to show the intended that we do not have a weapon or harbor evil intent in our hearts against them. In other words, we are extending our-self to them in a friendly gesture, with hopes that our gesture is returned. This is a primitive example but think about it. If they do not accept our greeting, or in most cases our handshake. We have been rejected.

So the first impression holds a great deal in whether one is rejected or accepted. When you are approaching someone, (whether business or personal) they are watching your body language. They are looking at what you have on, they are listening to your voice tone, how you take your steps, and again your handshake. Not to mention any smells that you carry. So we take in all this data and then we measure it against what we have learned to look for in someone who is successful, honest, and trustworthy.

There was a study done by Albert Mehrabian of UCLA several years ago that stated that communication effectiveness is 55% dependent on body language. What this tells me is that lasting impressions are formed without a word being uttered by you. So, how do you overcome this dilemma?

First, you should remember this keep it simple and keep it natural. You only have 60 seconds to make a good impression and you do not want to waste it. Secondly, you are there to make a connection. If you really want to get my attention, know something about me and connect with me on a personal level.

If you have not already, signed up for my Tele-Seminar Series, "Fear is Not an Option" you may want to do that now. there are some many more tips on this subject that I would love to share with you.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Monday, March 19, 2012

Register Today Fear is Not an Option Tele-seminar Series

Change is Good

Fear of change is one of the biggest barriers to success that women face. Fear of change will cause us to stay in a safe job instead of moving on. Fear of change will cause us to stay with a man that will not respect us or love us they way we deserve instead of respect ourselves and move on. Fear of change will cause us to settle for less than we deserve and accept even less than that.

Yet changes come no matter how hard we try to avoid them. So you must be prepared for change to come and accept that change is good. The most difficult changes you will face (divorce, getting fired or laid off, losing a child or other emotional draining situations) will often bring the greatest rewards. No, it is not easy to change, especially if transformation is involved, however it is well worth it. I understand change is scary and unfamiliar. You don't know what to expect, and it hurts during the process. Hang in there, change does not occur to make you less than who you are but to add character and purpose. Focus on that. As the saying goes, "This too shall pass". Say that, as you travel the road of change. Believe me, it will help you through even the most taxing events in your life.

Identify in your life the things that need to change and embrace the change now. The more you fight it the harder it will become to move forward. Remember this, you were created to change. Seasons change, time changes, everything has it purpose and thus must change to allow growth. Tell yourself change is good and then make the change. See you on the other side.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Friday, March 16, 2012

Read The Room (Rules Of The Game)

Don't be naive and think you can e above the politics in your life. No matter if it is on the job or in the family. Whether you want to participate or not, they are happening, so know the rules of the game and be prepared. When you are new to the group, just got promoted or planning the family reunion, even if your are the leader, it is essential to pay attention to the culture in the place. How do people communicate with each other? Do they do a lot of one on one in person, via email. phone etc? Do they have formal meetings or traditions they uphold? Do they just kind of get together at the spare of a moment? Do they argue and challenge one another or do they sit and peaceful come to their conclusion? Do they speak freely in public or kind of say things under their breath?

When you first arrive to a new workplace, a meeting, or visit a client, do more listening than talking for as long as possible. See, if people in the group are blogging - you may can pick up clues from their blogs. the easiest way to get off on the wrong foot is to inadvertently offend the new group. Take your cues from them and act accordingly. Are they serious? Do they sit with their hands folded? Do they raise their hands to speak? Do they tend to relax after the initial 15 minutes? What is the room telling you?

Be very aware of cultural differences, especially if you've recently relocated. Occasionally you'll get lucky and figure out the politics straightaway. Other times they may be a bit more hidden and mysterious. It can take 1 meeting or several months to get the true picture of the group. However, reading the room when it comes to your clients, co-workers, church, or any other group will allow you to move forward easier.

Now here's a tip for those who may not be in leadership. If you start with a new job and or a new group and you notice their is a negative vibe always. Since you do not have the authority to change that culture, it may be best to look for a new position somewhere else immediately. Remember bad communications can corrupt even the best of us. You don't want to lose yourself in the midst of moving a head.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Can Gossip Be Positive?

When you hear the word gossip. What comes to mind. Well, if you are anything like me, you think of the negative, malicious and hateful kind. Malicious gossip can be a powerful and persuasive problem in our lives. Our society seems to thrive on it. there is actually a national effort to stamp it out...called "Words Can Heal" ( Their mission is to promote the value and practice of ethical speech in order to improve our democracy and build mutual respect,honor, and dignity in our country. (or so I have heard :)).

Recently, I took their pledge ( It it worth sharing here. I also took steps to become more actively involved. What I saw when reading up about their organization is words DO have power. More than that we can wield that power to help others. When you go and read their pledge you will see that it underscores how powerful words are and the importance of choosing positive words to express our feelings and opinions about each other. It is very easy to gossip. I should know I have done it a few times myself.

They give a real good tip for helping you to stop negative gossip, Before you say something that may shine a dim light on someone else to bite your tongue. Yes, Literally. Bite your tongue. Your tongue will hurt and it will remind you of the pain you could have cause someone else or your own reputation. The pain from the bite will go away, but you can not take back mean, negative and spiteful words.

So then I ask again, Can gossip be positive? Yes. If you choose to only pass along the good things. If you choose to spread the positive. Let's play the What if game. What if you only said good things about your enemies, What if you began to build up your children instead of tearing them down, What if you told your husband how great he is instead of what he's doing wrong. What if you encouraged your friends and family to be better...What if you started telling yourself how far you come instead of what you cant do? What would the world look like? What would you accomplish in a day?

Let me tell you this secret, it a big task but if you and I do our part we will overcome the negative words in the word. How about it?

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Avoiding And Resolving Conflict

The effects of conflict in our lives can be widespread and costly. Studies have shown that 24% to 60 % of our time and energy is spent dealing with with anger. Anger is the number one cause of conflicts. Anger leads to decreased productivity on our jobs, in our businesses and in our relationships. anger also leads to increased stress, hampered performance, absenteeism, and its most extreme result is violence and death.

Conflicts can manifest from a number of factors and can be individual or group focused. Competition is a sore spot for conflicts to fester. Whether it is in your relationships, on the job, or business owners of the same niche. the easiest way to resolve conflict quickly is to avoid it in the first place, here are some steps to help you do just that:

1. Communicate: Conflict happens when communication breaks down. People are not on the same page and each side has strong opinions. Leaders should also communicate the goals of the organization, group or assignment and work with individuals to help them feel significant in each step. this is not to say hold their hands but take a moment to hear them out and help them see the bigger picture. Most important treat every one the same.

2. Listen: You have one mouth and two hears. that is not a mistake. You should do twice as much listen as you do talking. make sure you hear what the people are saying. Acknowledge and clarify what you have heard without drawing your own conclusions. Make sure that you support their feeling and provide them with the resources to accomplish their goals.

3.Set boundaries: You can be professional, empathetic, and compassionate toward  individuals without crossing the line of giving away your power. Adapt to the environment you are in but DO not give away your power to choose.

4. Nip it in the bud: If you notice a situation becoming heated, tempers or voices are rising, address the situation as soon as possible. Speak about teh elephant in the room as it were. Listen carefully and then offer a solution based on what you heard. Resolve it in a matter that this cannot repeat itself.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Be Careful Whom You Trust

Have you ever been in a position where you believe that all those in your circle of influence like you? You do what you are told and you generate fantastic results. You get along with everyone including those that over you, (i.e. bosses, spouse, siblings, parents, etc...)

Then one day you speak about a management practice you do not agree with or you say something about your spouse that does not paint them in the best light. You and your friends are having a nice conversation about life and it just bubbles to the surface. You are among friends and you are just venting. Maybe like so many, you write it on a post on Facebook or Twitter. You might even blog about it. This is when everything changes. Suddenly, you are called in on the carpet. Your manager or spouse is confronting you about something you said and they are not pleased at all. Now it's brought to your attention in an ugly and spiteful way. Everything you said has been twisted, contorted and just plain misunderstood. Maybe they take out a list of things you said and when you said them. You realize someone has been keeping track of your venting, your blowing off steam and has given a full report to them. Who could have disliked you this much. Who could be so full of hate to twist your words and meaning like this? Who could stab you in the back this way?

Many times you will not find out who did, or you will find out but their true motives will be masked in the anger in their eyes. You are hurt and now your relationship is strained. You are full of regret and remorse. Which ever it is, learn the bigger lesson here. Keep your mouth shut. Whether it is in life with your intimate relationships, or in business...big mouths don't get ahead. A moment of venting can cause a storm in a relationship that could have just been water under the bridge.

We all have times that we want to speak about a situation or give a piece of our mind to someone. but i say keep your righteous mind and hold you tongue. Somethings are left better unsaid.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Monday, March 12, 2012

Ask For What You Deserve!

Listen, when you start a business or go into that performance review, everyone is counting on you to have issues with money. Meaning, they are all hoping that you will not ask for what you deserve. If you don't ask for the raise the company saves money. Or they may even use the recession as a means to discourage you. Now I admit many companies were hit hard and to stay afloat they had to tighten their belts. However, Can you see a way to help them with their bottom line? Then go in and ask for that raise with your head held high.  IF you have started a business. your knowledge is valuable. You have gone to school, read books, learned some of life toughest lessons to acquire that knowledge. You have cultivated that skill with many hours, days, weeks, months and years of focused attention. Don't be afraid to show the confidence in your acquired skills.

Many times we don't ask because we don't want things to change. We dont want to put people in an uncomfortable space. However, we cant pay our bills, our family is suffering with less than the best and our dreams are not being manifested. Listen to this, the one who ask for what they deserve, will get it. There is someone out there that understands your worth and they are willing to pay. Those that are not ready are not the ones you should be concerned with. I was once told, "My ideal client is willing and ready to pay." I fought that statement when it was said but now I understand. Me short selling my products and knowledge was not doing me any favors. I worked hard for it. Now I was willing to give it away for free or less than I should.

If you have put in the work, you have paid the piper then it is time for you to ask for what you deserve. Again, if they are not ready to give you what you ask for, someone else is waiting in line that will. So start here, recognize your worth and then ask for it. DO not settle for less. In the end you will get less than what you settled for. I know it can be scary but what is more scary, settling and nothing changing, your family struggling, your dreams dying and those that are waiting on you not receiving the help they need. OR ... asking for what you deserve and changing not only your life but the lives of those you come in contact with.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Friday, March 9, 2012

You Cant Do That! Can You?

We have all heard the words, "You Cant do that". It either came at a time that we were branching out to do something new, going for a promotion, starting a new endeavor or etc. Whatever it was we were attempting, some level headed person told us"You can't do that." Either we were too young, too short, not enough education, from the wrong side of the tracks, I mean really it could have been a number of things that cause this statement to be said to us.

What I have learned is it not what is said to us that cause us to be fearful. It is what we believe. Did you believe what was said to you? Did you allow it to take root in your heart and mind and cause you to begin to sabotage your own success. Many of us do that. How, well let me put it this way. Remember that old saying sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. We would say this when someone said something hurtful and mean to us. But if you are anything like me you would say it and the words would still sting. You were wounded. After the first, second and third time someone would say something to might even begin to believe it yourself whether or not you admit to your belief. The same is true with us now.

What we must remember is this, we are created and placed on earth to do extraordinary things. No two people will ever do the same things exactly alike. We are built to be different. Just like your fingerprints are different. each of us have a unique way of doing things. So what may work for one will have to be modified and adjusted for the next. even it is is very similar if you look closely your unique mark is there. It is what separates you from all others.

The next time someone tells you, "You can't do that." tell them, "Oh Yes I can, Just watch me." Believe in yourself the same way you believe a chair will hold you up when you sit in it. Believe in yourself the same way you believe that you will take your next breath. Believe in yourself the same way you believe that

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group

Thursday, March 8, 2012

What Is Your Real Reason You Do What You Do?

Recently I was asked, Why do you do what you do? At first I started with my usual answer and then something deep inside me rose up and I shifted in the midst of my sentence and started talking from a place so deep inside me that I become emotional. What i realized from that moment is that why I do what I do is more than I just want to help people discover their life calling and purpose. It is more than helping a person with low-sel;f esteem realize that they can be and do more than they ever imagined. That makes me smile and feel all warm inside but the real reason I do what I do is more than that. It is simply  about me. It's what I call, from my selling Mary Kay days, "My I-Story".

When you stop and think about it. You do what you do because of a change in your life. Somewhere, somehow, you made a transformation in your life that alter your reason for living. It changed you path and caused you to want to share that special feeling with others. You wanted everyone to know that feeling that self worth, that love, that success, etc was possible. I finish this blog with a speech from Tony Robbins a few years back at a TED Event: "Why we do what we do - June 2006"

Let me tell you what they are. First one: certainty. Now, these are not goals or desires, these are universal. Everyone needs certainty that they can avoid pain and at least be comfortable. Now, how do you get it? Control everybody? Develop a skill? Give up? Smoke a cigarette? And if you got totally certain, ironically, even though we all need that --like if you're not certain about your health, or your children, or money, you don't think about much. You're not sure if the ceiling's going to hold up, you're not going to listen to any speaker. But, while we go for certainty differently, if we get total certainty, we get what? What do you feel if you're certain? You know what's going to happen, when it's going to happen, how it's going to happen -- what would you feel? Bored out of your minds. So, God, gave us a second human need, which is uncertainty. We need variety. We need surprise. 
So, variety is important. Have you ever rented a video or a film that you've already seen? Who's done this? All right. Why are you doing it? You're certain it's good because you read it before, saw it before, but you're hoping it's been long enough you've forgotten, that there's variety. 
Third human need, critical: significance. We all need to feel important, special, unique. You can get it by making more money. You can do it by being more spiritual. You can do it by getting yourself in a situation where you put more tattoos and earrings in places humans don't want to know. Whatever it takes. The fastest way to do this, if you have no background, no culture, no belief and resources or resourcefulness, is violence. If I put a gun to your head and I live in the 'hood, instantly I'm significant. Zero to 10. How high? 10. How certain am I that you're going to respond to me? 10. How much uncertainty? Who knows what's going to happen next? Kind of exciting. Like climbing up into a cave and doing that stuff all the way down there. Total variety and uncertainty. And it's significant, isn't it? So you want to risk your life for it. So that's why violence has always been around and will be around unless we have a consciousness change as a species. Now, you can get significance a million ways, but to be significant, you've got to be unique and different.
Here's what we really need: connection and love -- fourth need. We all want it. Most people settle for connection because love's too scary. Don't want to get hurt. Who here has ever been hurt in an intimate relationship?  And you're going to get hurt again.Aren't you glad you came to this positive visit? But here's what's true -- we need it. We can do it through intimacy, through friendship, through prayer, through walking in nature. If nothing else works for you, get a dog. Don't get a cat. Get a dog, because if you leave for two minutes, it's like you've been gone for six months when you show back up again five minutes later, right? 
Now, these first four needs, every human finds a way to meet. Even if you lie to yourself, you need to have split personalities. But the last two needs -- the first four needs are called the needs of the personalities, is what I call it -- the last two are the needs of the spirit. And this is where fulfillment comes. You won't get fulfillment from the first four. You'll figure a way -- smoke, drink, do whatever -- to meet the first four, but the last two -- number five: you must grow. We all know the answer here. If you don't grow, you're what? If a relationship's not growing, if a business is not growing, if you're not growing, it doesn't matter how much money you have, how many friends you have, how many people love you, you feel like hell. And the reason we grow, I believe, is so we have something to give of value.
Because the sixth need is to contribute beyond ourselves. Because we all know, corny as it sounds, the secret to living is giving. We all know life's not about me; it's about we. This culture knows that. This room knows that. And it's exciting. When you see Nicholas up here talking about his $100 computer, the most passionate exciting thing is: here's a genius, but he's got a calling now. You can feel the difference in him and it's beautiful. And that calling can touch other people. In my own life, my life was touched because when I was 11 years old, Thanksgiving, no money, no food -- we're not going to starve, but my father was totally messed up. My mom was letting him know how bad he messed up. And somebody came to the door and delivered food. My father made three decisions. I know what they were briefly. His focus was: "This is charity. What does it mean? I'm worthless. What've I got to do? Leave my family." Which he did. The time was one of the most painfulexperiences of life. My three decisions gave me a different path. I said, "Focus on: 'there's food'" -- what a concept, you know. 
Second -- but this is what changed my life, this is what shaped me as a human being -- "Somebody's gift. I don't even know who it is." My father always said, "No one gives a s***." And all of a sudden, somebody I don't know, they're not asking for anything, they're just giving our family food, looking out for us. It made me believe this: "What does it mean that strangers care?" And what that made me decide is, if strangers care about me and my family, I care about them. What am I going to do? I'm going to do something to make a difference. So, when I was 17, I went out one day on Thanksgiving. It was my target for years to have enough money to feed two families. The most fun thing I ever did in my life, the most moving. Then next year I did four. I didn't tell anybody what I was doing. Next year eight. I wasn't doing it for brownie points, but after eight, I thought, I could use some help. 
So sure enough, I went out and what did I do? I got my friends involved and I grew companies and then I got 11 companies and I built the foundation. Now, 18 years later, I'm proud to tell you, last year we fed two million people in 35 countries through our foundation, all during the holidays: Thanksgiving, Christmas -- (Applause) -- in all the different countries around the world. It's been fantastic. Thank you. So, I don't tell you that to brag; I tell you because I'm proud of human beings, because they get excited to contribute once they've had the chance to experience it, not talk about it.
So, finally -- and I'm about out of time -- the target that shapes you -- here's what's different about people. We have the same needs, but are you a certainty freak? Is that what you value most, or uncertainty? This man here couldn't be a certainty freak if he climbed through those caves. Are you driven by significance or love? We all need all six, but whatever your lead system is, tilts you in a different direction. And as you move in a direction, you have a destination or destiny. The second piece is the map. Think of that as the operating system that tells you how to get there. And some people's map is: "I'm going to save lives even if I die for other people," and they're firemen. Somebody else is: "I'm going to kill people to do it." They're trying to meet the same needs of significance, right? They want to honor God or honor their family, but they have a different map.
The last piece is emotion. I'd say one of the parts of the map is like time. Some people's idea of a long time is 100 years. Somebody else's is three seconds, which is what I have. And the last one I've already mentioned, that fell to you. If you've got a target and you've got a map and let's say -- I can't use Google because I love Macs and they haven't made it good for Macs yet -- so if you use MapQuest -- how many have made this fatal mistake of using MapQuest at some time? You use this thing and you don't get there. Well, imagine if your beliefs guarantee you can never get to where you want to go?(Laughter)
The last thing is emotion. Now, here's what I'll tell you about emotion. There are 6,000 emotions that we all have words for in the English language, which is just a linguistic representation, right, that changes by language. But if your dominant emotions -- if I had more time, I have 20,000 people or 1,000, and I have them write down all the emotions that they experience in an average week, and I gave them as long as they needed, and on one side they write empowering emotions, the other's disempowering -- guess how many emotions people experience? Less than 12. And half of those make them feel bad....
What I walk away from this speech hearing is that I most know what drives me to do what i do. I have to know what i am focusing on, what it means to me and what i am going to do about it. Once I can grasp that then I know my real reason for doing what I do. The same is true for life or business. Get to know the real reason you do what you do.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group