One thing I really have learned from living my life is this. Saying thanks is a big deal. Many people take this word for granted. They say it as an after thought. A few months back my lower back hurt all the time. there was not a day that I woke up that I was not in pain. Many times I could not even get out of my bed. One day I asked my sister to help me up and she reluctantly did. When I finally was able to stand on my own midst the sharp pains I whispered, "Thank you." She stop in her tracks, the perturbed look gone and she said wow, you are welcome. You must really be in a lot of pain. That thank you was so full of gratitude." That is when I realized. Those two little words mean the world when said in the spirit of gratitude.
We are all so busy trying to get to the end result that we push past people, step on toes, and crush other feelings all in the name of making our dreams happen. When someone helps us, gives a tip, a strategy, a hand up... we need to take a moment to say..."Thank You" not because you helped me make a dollar, or because you had to do it. But thank you because in the scheme of things, you really did not have to help me. I know many people will say thanks to me for my blogs... some will say thank you for a post I posted on my social media pages. I do not take their thank yous lightly.
Just think it only take a minute to say thank you but it can last for an eternity. You have know the frame of mind someone is in and your thanks can make a world of difference.
Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group
Showing posts with label authentic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label authentic. Show all posts
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Let's Be Real They Don't Like You
In the world of social media it is all about the like, know and trust. With hundreds of thousand people pulling on you each day what gets noticed are the post we want to see. Those from the people we know personal and have a vested interest in and those that we have gone to like over a course of weeks, months and sometimes even years.
In my many horrors of trying to learn social media I have made some horrendous mistakes only to find out after the fact that the mistake was made. NOT GOOD. As a business owner I was shooting myself in the foot and not even knowing it. When I stepped back and really looked at the Internet as a place to meet and greet people and make relationships just as valuable as the ones I was cultivating in my real life efforts. I noticed a change in my interactions. People started responding to me and that made me feel good.
One day I ask a friend that had been my friend on several social media platforms why we had not connected before. I mean we had know each other over four years. She said something that really shocked me. She said, "I did not like you back then." I could not respond. I sat there looking at those words that no one wants to hear or read. What I had I done to this woman that she had made such a determination. When I did respond all I could say was "Why" She continued, "You seemed superficial." That was another dagger in my heart. How could I, Coach Linda, be anything other than authentic? What was her real issue. As we talked she cut and paste some of my earlier post from Myspace, Facebook and other sites. My jaw dropped.
If I had been on her end reading the posts that I had put out, I would have not liked myself either. At times I was negative and confrontational, other times I was loving and gushy and then there were the straight sales pitches with no content value or connection at all. So, it was not that my offerings were not good, it was that the people that were reading them did not know me enough to like me and trust was no one on the horizon.
When building relationships, make sure that you keep in mind, be yourself. Those that are suppose to like , know and trust will and those that are not your target will continue to ignore. Ask a friend that you have connected with recently, what are your thoughts about me and what I do... You might find out the truth is they just don't like you.
Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group
In my many horrors of trying to learn social media I have made some horrendous mistakes only to find out after the fact that the mistake was made. NOT GOOD. As a business owner I was shooting myself in the foot and not even knowing it. When I stepped back and really looked at the Internet as a place to meet and greet people and make relationships just as valuable as the ones I was cultivating in my real life efforts. I noticed a change in my interactions. People started responding to me and that made me feel good.
One day I ask a friend that had been my friend on several social media platforms why we had not connected before. I mean we had know each other over four years. She said something that really shocked me. She said, "I did not like you back then." I could not respond. I sat there looking at those words that no one wants to hear or read. What I had I done to this woman that she had made such a determination. When I did respond all I could say was "Why" She continued, "You seemed superficial." That was another dagger in my heart. How could I, Coach Linda, be anything other than authentic? What was her real issue. As we talked she cut and paste some of my earlier post from Myspace, Facebook and other sites. My jaw dropped.
If I had been on her end reading the posts that I had put out, I would have not liked myself either. At times I was negative and confrontational, other times I was loving and gushy and then there were the straight sales pitches with no content value or connection at all. So, it was not that my offerings were not good, it was that the people that were reading them did not know me enough to like me and trust was no one on the horizon.
When building relationships, make sure that you keep in mind, be yourself. Those that are suppose to like , know and trust will and those that are not your target will continue to ignore. Ask a friend that you have connected with recently, what are your thoughts about me and what I do... You might find out the truth is they just don't like you.
Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
The Fear of Rejection, Can It Be Overcome?
Many suffer from the fear of rejection. In my recent studying for my new Tele-seminar series "Fear Is Not An Option" I took a close look at why we allow this fear to operate and many times stop us from moving forward in life.
It begins with the social conditioning that stands between two people when they first meet. We are taught to not speak to strangers. We are taught that we should judge certain factors before we trust another individuals. In most cases this keeps us from being "had" however, when it comes to us stepping out of our comfort zone and doing something a bit different than we have in the past. This actually becomes a hindrance to us.
We know that people will look at us as we approach them, and they will begin a process that includes all five senses and their intuition. This collaboration of the senses and our human intention is deeply embedded in us and has been crafted by social conditioning. this is where the saying, "First impressions are the lasting ones."
Let me back up a bit and then push forward, When we first meet someone we will extend our hand in a hearty handshake. Have you ever asked yourself why we do that? Well, in African cultures a raised-palm greeting and our own American culture of a handshake has survived as evidence to show the intended that we do not have a weapon or harbor evil intent in our hearts against them. In other words, we are extending our-self to them in a friendly gesture, with hopes that our gesture is returned. This is a primitive example but think about it. If they do not accept our greeting, or in most cases our handshake. We have been rejected.
So the first impression holds a great deal in whether one is rejected or accepted. When you are approaching someone, (whether business or personal) they are watching your body language. They are looking at what you have on, they are listening to your voice tone, how you take your steps, and again your handshake. Not to mention any smells that you carry. So we take in all this data and then we measure it against what we have learned to look for in someone who is successful, honest, and trustworthy.
There was a study done by Albert Mehrabian of UCLA several years ago that stated that communication effectiveness is 55% dependent on body language. What this tells me is that lasting impressions are formed without a word being uttered by you. So, how do you overcome this dilemma?
First, you should remember this keep it simple and keep it natural. You only have 60 seconds to make a good impression and you do not want to waste it. Secondly, you are there to make a connection. If you really want to get my attention, know something about me and connect with me on a personal level.
If you have not already, signed up for my Tele-Seminar Series, "Fear is Not an Option" you may want to do that now. there are some many more tips on this subject that I would love to share with you.
Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group
It begins with the social conditioning that stands between two people when they first meet. We are taught to not speak to strangers. We are taught that we should judge certain factors before we trust another individuals. In most cases this keeps us from being "had" however, when it comes to us stepping out of our comfort zone and doing something a bit different than we have in the past. This actually becomes a hindrance to us.
We know that people will look at us as we approach them, and they will begin a process that includes all five senses and their intuition. This collaboration of the senses and our human intention is deeply embedded in us and has been crafted by social conditioning. this is where the saying, "First impressions are the lasting ones."
Let me back up a bit and then push forward, When we first meet someone we will extend our hand in a hearty handshake. Have you ever asked yourself why we do that? Well, in African cultures a raised-palm greeting and our own American culture of a handshake has survived as evidence to show the intended that we do not have a weapon or harbor evil intent in our hearts against them. In other words, we are extending our-self to them in a friendly gesture, with hopes that our gesture is returned. This is a primitive example but think about it. If they do not accept our greeting, or in most cases our handshake. We have been rejected.
So the first impression holds a great deal in whether one is rejected or accepted. When you are approaching someone, (whether business or personal) they are watching your body language. They are looking at what you have on, they are listening to your voice tone, how you take your steps, and again your handshake. Not to mention any smells that you carry. So we take in all this data and then we measure it against what we have learned to look for in someone who is successful, honest, and trustworthy.
There was a study done by Albert Mehrabian of UCLA several years ago that stated that communication effectiveness is 55% dependent on body language. What this tells me is that lasting impressions are formed without a word being uttered by you. So, how do you overcome this dilemma?
First, you should remember this keep it simple and keep it natural. You only have 60 seconds to make a good impression and you do not want to waste it. Secondly, you are there to make a connection. If you really want to get my attention, know something about me and connect with me on a personal level.
If you have not already, signed up for my Tele-Seminar Series, "Fear is Not an Option" you may want to do that now. there are some many more tips on this subject that I would love to share with you.
Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group
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