The Fear of Rejection, Can It Be Overcome?

Many suffer from the fear of rejection. In my recent studying for my new Tele-seminar series "Fear Is Not An Option" I took a close look at why we allow this fear to operate and many times stop us from moving forward in life.

It begins with the social conditioning that stands between two people when they first meet. We are taught to not speak to strangers. We are taught that we should judge certain factors before we trust another individuals. In most cases this keeps us from being "had" however, when it comes to us stepping out of our comfort zone and doing something a bit different than we have in the past. This actually becomes a hindrance to us.

We know that people will look at us as we approach them, and they will begin a process that includes all five senses and their intuition. This collaboration of the senses and our human intention is deeply embedded in us and has been crafted by social conditioning. this is where the saying, "First impressions are the lasting ones."

Let me back up a bit and then push forward, When we first meet someone we will extend our hand in a hearty handshake. Have you ever asked yourself why we do that? Well, in African cultures a raised-palm greeting and our own American culture of a handshake has survived as evidence to show the intended that we do not have a weapon or harbor evil intent in our hearts against them. In other words, we are extending our-self to them in a friendly gesture, with hopes that our gesture is returned. This is a primitive example but think about it. If they do not accept our greeting, or in most cases our handshake. We have been rejected.

So the first impression holds a great deal in whether one is rejected or accepted. When you are approaching someone, (whether business or personal) they are watching your body language. They are looking at what you have on, they are listening to your voice tone, how you take your steps, and again your handshake. Not to mention any smells that you carry. So we take in all this data and then we measure it against what we have learned to look for in someone who is successful, honest, and trustworthy.

There was a study done by Albert Mehrabian of UCLA several years ago that stated that communication effectiveness is 55% dependent on body language. What this tells me is that lasting impressions are formed without a word being uttered by you. So, how do you overcome this dilemma?

First, you should remember this keep it simple and keep it natural. You only have 60 seconds to make a good impression and you do not want to waste it. Secondly, you are there to make a connection. If you really want to get my attention, know something about me and connect with me on a personal level.

If you have not already, signed up for my Tele-Seminar Series, "Fear is Not an Option" you may want to do that now. there are some many more tips on this subject that I would love to share with you.

Be Empowered
Coach Linda Hillman
Copyright 2012 Destined 2 B U Empowerment Group